I just need to vent about my horrid day. I'm an aide on med surg.
Had an elderly male pt whose wife had been abusing him for some time. Malnurished (think Auschwitz), dirty, etc. She shows up after pt statd that she was not to be allowed to visit. I found her shaking him by the shoulders, screaming at him, demanding to know what he signed, that he has no rights, etc. I pulled her off him, being careful because she is elderly herself. I'm floored. I'm not that naive to think that women don't abuse men, but this was so sad I cried on the way home. I feel helpless because as an aide I can't do much. Social work and the nice family members (irony: her daughters) are POA now. Daughter states, who lives out of town that she thinks he hasn't been bathed in months. He had been locked in a closet without heat or food for days.
The nurses weren't too happy that I handled this situation but by God, I'm not going to stand by and watch a woman (or anyone) abuse another. Evil prevails because good men do nothing. There are plenty of witnesses to the abuse and I'm just perplexed that this woman hasn't be arrested and I think a restraining order is in order.
I gave the pt a nice long bath, shaved him, brushed his teeth and with his permission cut his hair. Did his nails. He slept like a baby after that and I told him that the wife wouldn't get past me again. I've been on the receiving end of abuse and I know no matter what age you are, it hurts your self esteem and makes you feel like crap.
Some days I really really hate my job. I know without a doubt that I couldn't do this everyday. And I wanted to do peds before I changed my major.
Edit: is it unexcusable or inexcusable? Either way you know what I mean.
What a blessing you were to this man. You should be so proud of yourself. And if anyone has a problem with what you did then it is on them. I would think you would be applauded. You should be.
Has social services been made aware of the situation?! They should be so they can keep watch over the situation when/if he leaves the hospital. Is there any family local to take him in?! I hope so.
Specializes in Dialysis, Nephrology & Cosmetic Surgery.
Does your hospital have a vunerable adults lead nurse? The legal department would be able to tell you.
It doesn't matter what your "title" is, you are an employee of a facility that should have procedures in place for any member of staff to esculate this mans plight to the correct persons. I would be really proud of any of my staff who initiated this process to help someone in need.
Well done and keep advocating for those vunerable people.
The nurse(s) that were mad at you should be ashamed of themselves- you did what that nurse should have done! Thank you. (we don't need nurses like that working- I am willing to bet they are lazy in other areas of work also...).
You truly were his guardian angel that day. Those nurses should be ashamed of themselves for saying you didn't handle the situation right. What did they think you should have done? This man will never forget you for what you did to save him. You could have saved his life at that very moment. You went way above and beyond for him.
I surely hope social work is working on getting him dishcarged somewhere safe and away from his wife. I hope they get a restraining order barring her from seeing him in the hospital and from calling him in the hospital. I cannot understand why she hasn't been arrested yet.
Bethin you were truly assinged to him by God for a reason.
I only wish I had you as my nurses aide!!!! In every post you make you are always for the pt. Most of the nurses aides I work with have to be reminded daily (sometimes hourly) what their job is.
I can't stand to see abuse, either. We never know what a person's background is. There are times when women have been the brunt of abuse then their husbands become debilitated and there is role reversal: the woman now sees the situation as her opportunity for revenge.
Seems like the daughters should share some responsibility for the shape he is in. The old woman may have a hard enough time dealing with the stress and they didn't help her.
Bethin: You made yourself an advocate in the best sense. As part of the nursing team, that was your duty. Nursing assistants are often closest to the patients. Perhaps the "nurses" were upset that you did not report it to them before going to SW, but as a witness to abuse, you were the best one to report. In most states, as a witness, you would have had a legal obligation to report this abuse. I hope the SW notified Adult Protective Services so that this doesn't continue when your patient is discharged. Good work, give yourself a pat on the back. Elder Abuse is common, and very much under-reported.
TazziRN, RN
6,487 Posts
Beth, God put you in that room at that time for a reason. Bless you.