Unexcusable

[bethin]

I just need to vent about my horrid day. I'm an aide on med surg.

Had an elderly male pt whose wife had been abusing him for some time. Malnurished (think Auschwitz), dirty, etc. She shows up after pt statd that she was not to be allowed to visit. I found her shaking him by the shoulders, screaming at him, demanding to know what he signed, that he has no rights, etc. I pulled her off him, being careful because she is elderly herself. I'm floored. I'm not that naive to think that women don't abuse men, but this was so sad I cried on the way home. I feel helpless because as an aide I can't do much. Social work and the nice family members (irony: her daughters) are POA now. Daughter states, who lives out of town that she thinks he hasn't been bathed in months. He had been locked in a closet without heat or food for days.

The nurses weren't too happy that I handled this situation but by God, I'm not going to stand by and watch a woman (or anyone) abuse another. Evil prevails because good men do nothing. There are plenty of witnesses to the abuse and I'm just perplexed that this woman hasn't be arrested and I think a restraining order is in order.

I gave the pt a nice long bath, shaved him, brushed his teeth and with his permission cut his hair. Did his nails. He slept like a baby after that and I told him that the wife wouldn't get past me again. I've been on the receiving end of abuse and I know no matter what age you are, it hurts your self esteem and makes you feel like crap.

Some days I really really hate my job. I know without a doubt that I couldn't do this everyday. And I wanted to do peds before I changed my major.

Edit: is it unexcusable or inexcusable? Either way you know what I mean.

[oramar]

Well God bless you, what else could any decent human being do but pull her off.

[oramar]

Most likely caring for him was to much for her. However, if he was placed in a nursing home his pension and SS would go to nursing home. Many people hang on to elderly and disabled relatives long past the point when they can properly care for them because they don't want to lose the checks.

[masstudent]

Beth,

As others have stated great job. I agree that it doesn't matter what your job is in the hospital, all healthcare professionals should (are?) required to report abuse and take action. I am glad you didn't get hurt.

Can someone define POA? Is it Point of Action? Thanks.

[UM Review RN, ASN, RN]

Beth,

As others have stated great job. I agree that it doesn't matter what your job is in the hospital, all healthcare professionals should (are?) required to report abuse and take action. I am glad you didn't get hurt.

Can someone define POA? Is it Point of Action? Thanks.

POA is Power of Attorney.

Great job, Beth. The nurses might've been upset that it's basically your word against hers (we do love to have as many witnesses as possible to that kind of problem), but in the end, the fact remains -- you did your job. You protected your patient.

[Chloe'sinNYNow]

I just need to vent about my horrid day. I'm an aide on med surg.

Edit: is it unexcusable or inexcusable? Either way you know what I mean.

It's IN-excusable no matter how you look at it. I love you for posting this thread Bethin. I've been there too. And the biggest crime is from those that stand by and do nothing.

We need more nurses like you. :icon_hug:

Chloe

[Ms Kylee]

You did the right thing. God only knows what would have happened if you didn't intervene. Good job! Don't sweat it that the nurses were mad at you. Your most important job at that time was keeping the patient's away from his wife.

[MzMouse]

You were meant to be in that room with that poor man. What a sad situation. Elder abuse just breaks my heart.

Your extra wonderful care must have been the highlight of his year.

[Cattitude]

Because I'm an aide.

What does being an aide have to do with how you handled the situation? And why the nurses were not happy? Seriously , what would any other human being have done differently in your position no matter what their title?

Leave the man to get beat up? What were the nurses not happy with? I don't get it.

You did what was exactly right and appropriate.

[RanieRN, MSN, RN]

You should be commended for your actions; protecting someone who couldn't protect himself. If you were one of my aides there would have been hugs and thanks from everyone:icon_hug:.

Sadly, we've treated many victims of elder abuse (as if they haven't gone through enough, they get sent to a psych unit for depression:uhoh3:); but the nursing staff have greatly enjoyed banning the abusers from the unit.

[flightnurse2b, LPN]

i dont have much to add, bethin... but i just wanted to back up what everyone else is saying. you truly were that man's angel today, and any nurse who has anything to say about it is just blowing smoke because you were the shining star in being your patients advocate. next time, just for your safety, i would have called a hospital security code. but you definately did the right thing. kudos to you girl.

[santhony44, MSN, RN, NP]

What does being an aide have to do with how you handled the situation? And why the nurses were not happy? Seriously , what would any other human being have done differently in your position no matter what their title?

Leave the man to get beat up? What were the nurses not happy with? I don't get it.

You did what was exactly right and appropriate.

I agree. Personally, I wouldn't care what staff member walked in and saw that happening, I'd have wanted it stopped- nurse, aide, housekeeper, maintenance man, whoever.

[yarncrogirl]

good job, we need more angels like you in the nursing field. if more people stood up for the ones that can't protect themselves, we would have a much better world. may god bless you.