I just need to vent about my horrid day. I'm an aide on med surg.
Had an elderly male pt whose wife had been abusing him for some time. Malnurished (think Auschwitz), dirty, etc. She shows up after pt statd that she was not to be allowed to visit. I found her shaking him by the shoulders, screaming at him, demanding to know what he signed, that he has no rights, etc. I pulled her off him, being careful because she is elderly herself. I'm floored. I'm not that naive to think that women don't abuse men, but this was so sad I cried on the way home. I feel helpless because as an aide I can't do much. Social work and the nice family members (irony: her daughters) are POA now. Daughter states, who lives out of town that she thinks he hasn't been bathed in months. He had been locked in a closet without heat or food for days.
The nurses weren't too happy that I handled this situation but by God, I'm not going to stand by and watch a woman (or anyone) abuse another. Evil prevails because good men do nothing. There are plenty of witnesses to the abuse and I'm just perplexed that this woman hasn't be arrested and I think a restraining order is in order.
I gave the pt a nice long bath, shaved him, brushed his teeth and with his permission cut his hair. Did his nails. He slept like a baby after that and I told him that the wife wouldn't get past me again. I've been on the receiving end of abuse and I know no matter what age you are, it hurts your self esteem and makes you feel like crap.
Some days I really really hate my job. I know without a doubt that I couldn't do this everyday. And I wanted to do peds before I changed my major.
Edit: is it unexcusable or inexcusable? Either way you know what I mean.
((((hug))))What a horrible experience that must have been for you,I can see why you're so upset but you did the right thing,I only wish I had been there to help.Any of the nurses where I work would have definitely applauded you,that poor man.
As a member of the health care team you have every right and responsibility for protecting your patients. As long as it was something you could handle then why not? Nurses shouldn't be getting in a snit over something wonderful that you did. I'm sure if the wife had gotten out of line you would have called security. I think you handled it just wonderfully and you should be very proud of yourself and to heck with what anyone else thinks. Kudos to you Bethy!!!! :clphnds:
The only thing I can think of why the nurse would be upset, is because she should have been the one intervening and the aide was essentially doing her job and may have felt embarassed, upset or whatever that she was not the one to protect him and therefore turned this outward toward the aide who did assist.
I know it is a stretch but that is about the only thing I can think of.
Well, she showed up today - and threatened my life. I told her she was free to kill me but she wasn't going near the pt (per pt request who is a&o x3). I want to protect the pt's privacy, but he kept saying to me "I'm going to pay for this when I get home". Cops were called and talked to the pt and wife. Adult Protective Services are involved but state that "their hands are tied". Huh?? Exactly what is it that they can't do?
The nurse apologized to me today and thanked me for standing up for the pt. I may be 'just' an aide to some, but I am a pt advocate. Just because I chose to not go into nursing does not mean I don't care about pt's. I can't wait to be a lawyer and prosecute these cowards who prey on the helpless.
I want to scream! No one should leave with this fear.
Specializes in long term care, alzheimer's, ltc rehab.
Bethin, regardless of what anyone says, you did the right thing. If I were in the situation I would have done the exact same thing and god help anyone who stood in my way!
Were there any witnesses to her threatening to kill you? It sounds like this woman needs to be in jail....or better yet, a lockdown geripsych unit.
Well, she showed up today - and threatened my life. I told her she was free to kill me but she wasn't going near the pt (per pt request who is a&o x3). I want to protect the pt's privacy, but he kept saying to me "I'm going to pay for this when I get home". Cops were called and talked to the pt and wife. Adult Protective Services are involved but state that "their hands are tied". Huh?? Exactly what is it that they can't do?
I'd like to know the answer to this, too.
Maybe their 'hands are tied', but yours aren't. Swear out a complaint with the police on this woman for threatening you.
Adult Protective Services are involved but state that "their hands are tied".
I wonder if it has to do with this:
"Endangered adult" defined
Sec. 2. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), as used in this chapter, "endangered adult" means an individual who is:
(1) at least eighteen (18) years of age;
(2) incapable by reason of mental illness, mental retardation, dementia, habitual drunkenness, excessive use of drugs, or other physical or mental incapacity of managing or directing the management of the individual's property or providing or directing the provision of self-care; and
(3) harmed or threatened with harm as a result of:
(b) For purposes of IC 12-10-3-17, IC 35-42-2-1, and IC 35-46-1-13,
"endangered adult" means an individual who is:
(1) at least eighteen (18) years of age;
(2) incapable by reason of mental illness, mental retardation, dementia, or other physical or mental incapacity of managing or directing the management of the individual's property or providing or directing the provision of self-care; and
(3) harmed or threatened with harm as a result of:
(1) for the reason that the individual is being provided spiritual treatment in accordance with a recognized religious method of healing instead of specified medical treatment if the individual would not be considered to be an endangered adult if the individual were receiving the medical treatment; or
(2) on the basis of being physically unable to provide self care when appropriate care is being provided.
Is it because he is 'alert and oriented'? Do they believe he has the capacity to remove himself from the situation if he so chooses?
Here the law pertaining to APS addresses those over 18 who are incapacitated/dependent OR those over 60. There are no stipulations that an older adult must be incapable of directing or providing their own care. Abuse against someone over 60 is enough to trigger a response.
ADULT PROTECTIVE SERVICES FOR ADULTS WHO ARE FOUND TO BE ABUSED, NEGLECTED OR EXPLOITED AND WHO MEET ONE OF THE FOLLOWING CRITERIA:
(i) THE ADULT IS 60 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER OR
(ii) THE ADULT IS 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER AND IS INCAPACITATED.
...
4.1. "ADULT" MEANS ANY PERSON 60 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER, OR ANY PERSON 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER WHO IS INCAPACITATED
A fine distinction, but that might be where the problem lies...
Is it because he is 'alert and oriented'? Do they believe he has the capacity to remove himself from the situation if he so chooses?
I don't think he has the strength to physically remove himself from the house and seek shelter elsewhere. His belly is distended but his limbs are just bones and his face is sunken in. There's a name for it, but I'm having a brain fart right now.
I just rec'd a call from the hospital: he is not going back into that situation. His wife's daughters are taking him home when he is ready and are going to take care of him. I have witnessed their care and they truly care and love him and want NOTHING to do with their mother. They spent all day Sunday with him and are wonderful with him. My main concern now is that she can still show up at their house. I had to speak to several officers Sunday and I urged them to bring up the option of a restraining order against her for him. I know a paper won't stop her from seeing him, but if she crosses that line she will go to jail.
I don't know if I mentioned in a previous post, but the wife saw him Sat evening. Saturday during the day I gave him a nice long bath, gave him a long massage and told him how nice he was, just trying to boost his self esteem. He seemed much much happier after this. Today he wouldn't speak and I knew that that woman had brought him down again. The way I understand it, she no longer has a legal right to see him. She is not POA and makes no health care decisions - she prevented him from going to the doctor.
As for me, I'm going to the police station today to file a report. I'm not scared, as I have weapons and have taken self defense classes but I want it on record.
We don't have security in our small community hospital but the police are apprised of the situation. I work Thursday and I pray it's better by then. I know I'm repeating myself, but this man is in his 80's, not too many years left and this is how he is living his last years. It just infuriates me.
The hospital's social servies are deeply involved and are taking over where adult protection services can't. It took them 5 days to return our phone calls. Unacceptable.
Cops were called and talked to the pt and wife. Adult Protective Services are involved but state that "their hands are tied". Huh?? Exactly what is it that they can't do? 
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herecomestrouble
198 Posts
((((hug))))What a horrible experience that must have been for you,I can see why you're so upset but you did the right thing,I only wish I had been there to help.Any of the nurses where I work would have definitely applauded you,that poor man.