I'm surprised there has been no mention of the Stanford rape trial and sentence on all nurses. I'm opening up the discussion as I feel it pertains to us in many ways. One as people who may have been victims or know others who have been victims of sexual violence and two as nurses that have taken care of others in this situation, whether directly in ER or a patient suffering from PTSD with other health problems as well.
I applaud the survivor's bravery and her impact statement that has gone public. I hope this will comfort other survivors, but even more I hope this will discourage rape in general. Campus rapes are common and rapes at frats are in the news frequently. Once again a college athlete got off with just a slap on the wrist, although I don't think he counted on all the negative publicity this case has garnered.
What disturbs me the most is the letters of the parents to the judge. The father's don't punish him for 20 minutes of action. Then the mother's letter, who by the way is a nurse for gynecological surgeries and in the past as a pediatric nurse, who had not one iota of empathy for the victim. Her letter simply astonished me. I can't believe as a woman, as a nurse, as a mother of a daughter she had no empathy for the victim! This troubles me the most! I imagine in her years as a nurse she must have taken care of a rape victim and her total lack of empathy for the victim disturbs me greatly!
I don't want to hurt anyone, especially those already in pain.
Maybe you can tell me what reasonable precautions against rape include, since intoxication isn't one and visually stimulating men isn't one. And I am sincerely wanting to know what your thinking is on this because I apparently don't know and it is important, so please tell me.
Well, since I was raped on a church outing, as a young girl, if I followed some of your logic, the answer would be to not send my children to church ever and to never attend church myself.
The real answer is to actually punish rapists for their crimes, and to create a culture free of shame when someone does report. If I hadn't felt I was at fault in some way, I might have reported.
Lastly, please don't say "visually stimulating" even in the way you did. I'm not a walking Media magazine. I'm a human. No matter what I wear, I'm not a piece of meat.
Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
They wouldn't be raped in jail if they weren't there, would they? No double standard on this.
Do you think raped men in jail should not be treated? At the least be checked for STD's? Offered counseling? You surely believe in treatment for raped women, how about men?
Are you deliberately being obtuse? No one, I repeat NO ONE has said that male rape victims should not be treated. No one has said that ANY rape victim should have treatment withheld. Do you understand that/
And as far as women being modest, dressing how YOU think they should, not drinking, not having extramarital sex: No woman brings rape on herself. Regardless of where she is, who she is with, what she is wearing, her history. I repeat NO woman brings it on herself. NO woman should share the blame. Do you understand that?
I've talked about being a survivor on here before, so I won't rehash details that many people have read on other threads.
That said, rape culture does exist, it sucks, and the only thing we can do to combat it is to speak up. When I first tried to speak up about what had happened to me, I had a lot of push back, oddly enough, usually from female friends, telling me that I was the bad one, or that it was my fault, or that I was lying. In the beginning it made it very hard to speak out. It was later, after I had found a stable place in life that I found the courage to speak up. I think that in that time between then and now, we have gotten better, and that we're working towards more. We still need to be brave enough to speak up though.
This is one of those times. What happened here... is a joke. There were witnesses, there was evidence, and the jury had no doubt in what was done. The slap on the wrist that the rapist received is laughable. We may not be able to go back and fix this, but we can speak up, and try to help make sure it doesn't happen again. Let others who may be victims know that someone is actually listening.
Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.
Troll be quiet and be gone. You're annoying and no one agrees with you. You are a fake Christian who have the nerve to thump your damn bible. If this is how you really think, you are surely a vile loser!
I disagree with pretty much everything Kooky has said, and haven't had the emotional energy to reply to some of his posts. However, I also completely disagree with this post. It is disrespectful, immature and unnecessary. I'm not a religious person so I'm not personally offended by your post, but as adults we should be able to have a civilized discussion, not hurling insults at one another.
I will start by saying: 1. I was raped as a teen and it pretty much destroyed my life for a few years 2. Rapists should get the book thrown at them. Women need to stop acting all empowered and equal in every way on one hand and then all helpless the big bad guy raped me on the other. Make up your mind. If I get drunk in some strange place and get raped the guy should go to jail and I should take an honest look at my behavior and how it endangered me. Don't play in traffic and then act all outraged and shocked when you get hit by a car. The lack of personal responsibility is ridiculous.
Well, since I was raped on a church outing, as a young girl, if I followed some of your logic, the answer would be to not send my children to church ever and to never attend church myself.
The real answer is to actually punish rapists for their crimes, and to create a culture free of shame when someone does report. If I hadn't felt I was at fault in some way, I might have reported.
Lastly, please don't say "visually stimulating" even in the way you did. I'm not a walking Media magazine. I'm a human. No matter what I wear, I'm not a piece of meat.
I am truly very sorry that you had that awful experience.
Most men can control their reaction to a lovely woman who is dressed alluringly and don't take criminal action. Some men can't or choose not to control it or they have other thinking that is perhaps set off by seeing a beautiful woman who seems, perhaps, vulnerable. Why tempt, however unintentionally?
No one said you were a walking Media magazine or a piece of meat, but some men might be overpowered by their urges, so again, why play to their weakness? There are lots of sicko's in the world.
Again, I am very sorry for your pain. And no, you were not at fault. You were a child in a place that was supposed to be safe but you were betrayed. Can you report now or is it just too far in the past or has he died or is it just better for your sense of well-being to leave it in the past?
I will start by saying: 1. I was raped as a teen and it pretty much destroyed my life for a few years 2. Rapists should get the book thrown at them. Women need to stop acting all empowered and equal in every way on one hand and then all helpless the big bad guy raped me on the other. Make up your mind. If I get drunk in some strange place and get raped the guy should go to jail and I should take an honest look at my behavior and how it endangered me. Don't play in traffic and then act all outraged and shocked when you get hit by a car. The lack of personal responsibility is ridiculous.
Thank you for your courage in speaking out. Maybe you can convey this message here and people will respect you because you are a Conqueror.
Are you deliberately being obtuse? No one, I repeat NO ONE has said that male rape victims should not be treated. No one has said that ANY rape victim should have treatment withheld. Do you understand that/
And as far as women being modest, dressing how YOU think they should, not drinking, not having extramarital sex: No woman brings rape on herself. Regardless of where she is, who she is with, what she is wearing, her history. I repeat NO woman brings it on herself. NO woman should share the blame. Do you understand that?
Somehow I doubt it
Some people jumped on me and accused me of caring more about the poor darlings in jail who get raped and not treated than about women who are raped. one commentor said they probably were asking to be raped.
I guess I really don't understand why it's ok to drink to excess, pass out, give the impression of being a modern woman, to run the risk of having one's drink spiked. Why would any woman consider this fun? Or smart? Even if no rape results? When I was young and in the dating world, women who did this were considered loose and fast. Most girls wanted to meet a husband, so they were more sedate and reserved. The overall general view was that fast girls weren't marriage material. Now women are told they are complete in themselves, don't need a man to complete them. That's good, but it has its negative results, too.
I'm seriously beginning to question if Kooky is so concerned about men at risk of being visually stimulated because he is somehow able to relate to or identify with needing to keep the visual stimulation to a minimum, like he can relate to a lack of impulse control himself.
At this point in my life, I have about zero sex drive. BPH and low T take their toll. So no, set your mind at ease, Libby, and answer my questions from your previous post.
Food and little exercise are my worst areas of self-control.
Alisonisayoshi, LVN
547 Posts
Well, since I was raped on a church outing, as a young girl, if I followed some of your logic, the answer would be to not send my children to church ever and to never attend church myself.
The real answer is to actually punish rapists for their crimes, and to create a culture free of shame when someone does report. If I hadn't felt I was at fault in some way, I might have reported.
Lastly, please don't say "visually stimulating" even in the way you did. I'm not a walking Media magazine. I'm a human. No matter what I wear, I'm not a piece of meat.