Some of you may recall me mentioning that I was pregnant and scheduled for C-section on June 23rd. Well, I visited the hospital for an NST on the 18th because I hadn't felt the baby move that morning, and I wanted reassurance. The nurses couldn't find his heartbeat, so an U/S was done. No heartbeat noted, and just like that the baby that we loved and wanted so much was gone. I was completely shocked.
He was delivered by C-section later that night. He was beautiful... 9 lbs., 20" long and looked perfect. The cord was not wrapped around his neck. He had died about 2 days before. I just can't understand how a full term baby can suddenly die. I know some of you nurses have seen this before... please help me understand how this could have happened. I am scared to death to try again... I've also had 1 miscarriage. But, we want more children so badly.
We declined an autopsy... I couldn't stand the thought of my precious baby being cut up. Please help me understand what might have caused this. I am an emotional wreck right now. My pregnancy progressed perfectly with no problems. I think I might have sleep apnea... I recall waking up several times one night last week panting as though I hadn't breathed in awhile. Do you think that's when the demise could have occurred?
I'm sure many of you have been through this. How did you manage? Right now I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I am on Xanax and Vicodin, but whenever they wear off I just want to cry. The nurses at the hospital were great, I don't know how I would have managed without them. However, when I was ready to see him I rang my call light and requested to see my baby and whoever answered said "okay, we'll bring IT down." That just broke my heart. She should at least have known he was a boy.
Thank you in advance for any help, wisdom, or encouragement you can give.
I don't have any words of wisdom. As a mother who had two miscarriages/2 live births I was heartbroken. I don't know what happened and I am truely sorry.
Specializes in Gerontological Nursing, Acute Rehab.
Nursewannabe....I am truly sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy. I know that nothing I say will ease your pain and heartbreak, please be aware that there are many people here who are keeping your and your husband in our thoughts and prayers.
I can completely understand your decision for not wanting an autopsy done. My pastor and his wife had a stillborn baby about 10 years ago, and they made the painful decision to have the autopsy done. It did not determine the cause of death for their baby. These unfortunate events sometimes do not seem to have any outright cause, but it must be so hard to accept that. It's normal to want answers.
Grieve for as long as you need to, and don't be afraid to ask for help. I'm sure that I can speak for everyone here when I say that we are here for you.
Specializes in Med/Surg/Ortho/HH/Radiology-Now Retired.
Sending healing thoughts to you and your husband at this sad time. No words can take away your pain, but perhaps knowing others are thinking of you and care, might bring some small comfort. {{{Hug}}}
It is so painful for me to even imagine what you are going through. Sometimes life asks someone to handle something that's just too much for one person to bear. It is utterly heartbreaking. I am so, so sorry.
I hope that the staff cut a lock of your little boy's hair and took a picture of him for you. These small mementoes may comfort you and make you feel closer to your son as you go through the griveing process...
Did you mention the shortness of breath to your OB doc? You might ask him if he thinks there was any possibility of amniotic fluid embolism, but I sincerely doubt this was the case.
I just want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for all of your kind words. You don't know how encouraging it is to hear that some of you have gone through this and survived, and even went on to have healthy babies.
We did get some of his hair (he was a little baldie, like all of the babies in my family!), and the nurse took many beautiful pictures - she did a fantastic job. She also made plaster casts of his hands and feet, and beaded bracelets with his name on them for my husband, my son, and myself. She gave us the blankets he was wrapped in, and the little hat & socks he had on. All of those things will be cherished.
I haven't seen my OB yet, will see her friday of this week. I am definitely going to mention the SOB episode. I was sick with a cold and sinus troubles that week, so I just attributed it to that.
My husband has been wonderfully supportive. In fact, I believe this has brought us closer than ever. I will keep in mind what you guys said about shutting him and others out, though.
I am truely sorry for the loss that you and your entire family has experienced! It is ashame with all the technology today that things like this still happen. I am praying for you, your husband, and all your family! You just need to remember one thing: Time will heal all wounds! Take your time to grieve and morn, but try to remember that you now have a guardian angel in heaven! HE is watching you!
I know exactly what you are going through. Our daughter, Emma, was stillborn on July 31st, last year. I was 37 weeks into what I thought was a perfect pregnancy. She just stopped moving. When I presented to the OB unit at 1am, she still had a strong heartrate at 140......but no movement. She died 10 hours later. She was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen....perfect.
...I just want you to know that it does get better. The first few weeks, I couldn't even go the the grocery store because seeing a baby made me too emotional. I still cry for her. But my husband and I can talk about her without crying every time now. I can look at her picture now and smile. The sadness has changed from overbearing to a sweet sadness if that makes sense.
I am pregnant again....and because of my high risk status and prev. emergency c/s....I am to have a c/s at 36 weeks.....last week in July....when Emma was born asleep.
Having and losing Emma strengthened my faith and my family. She was a precious gift.
I am glad to hear it has made you and your husband closer..losing a baby can either tear you apart or stregthen your bond.
I was completely shocked.
lucky4timesover
88 Posts
I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.