My mom died just before Christmas - advice needed

furelite · Jan 12, 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy, even when you know it is coming. I am not in your position, so I cannot say what you should do or even what I would do. However, i like to think that I would boost myself up by knowing that my mother was watching me, and that she was with me. That she wanted me to succeed and was proud of me. I would try my best to continue to make her proud, and know that she was with me every step of the way. I would rely on my past positive memories when I was feeling discouraged, and I would do my best for her memory as well as for myself, because that is what she would have wanted. Your mother wants you to be happy, it is all any mother wants for their children. You can do this.

krisiepoo · Jan 12, 2014

I'm so sorry to learn your mother has passed, I can't even imagine the pain you've experienced.

You can use her strength to help you through nursing school. She would have wanted you to move forward, right? (I know, easier said that done). Have you talked to anyone about this? psych, PCP? maybe some meds and/or counseling for the short term

If you dont' think you can pull it together in time, see if you can postpone your enrollment for a year. You'd be better for postponing than trying if you don't think you can do it right now

RNfindingherway, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2014

Hi Gloryboo, accept my sympathy. May God strength and keep you through this difficult time of your life. Remember that God have a plan for your life. Jeremiah 29V11. I don't really know what to say considering your grieving process because I haven't gone through it. But, I can say to you be strong and trust in God to see you through. Because He never fails. He will see you through Nursing School and give you a life that your Mom would be proud of you. You will make it through nursing school. Have a Happy, Bright and Prosperous New Year to you. I will remember to pray for you.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 12, 2014

Welcome to AN! The largest online nursing community!

I moved your thread for a better response....

I am so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt prayers for you at this difficult time. ((HUGS))

As a Mom, I can assure you that the only thing a mother wants for her child is success, courage, happiness, and to be self sufficient. I know that your Mom would want you to go forward to be the competent, confident, caring person that you are and become a caring competent nurse. Know that she smiles on you from heaven.

My niece lost her Dad in the half way through an accelerated program. She couldn't spend the time she wanted with him because the school wouldn't allow her to miss clinical....through it all he made her promise to be strong and finish...no matter what. That he would be by her side the whole way....it was difficult to be sure but she was successful. She graduated and got a position in surgery at a top medical center in the US last year.

When they asked her in the interview "What makes you sure you have the stuff it will take to do this as a new grad?" She answered " I finished cum laude and straight A's through my schooling as my dad was diagnosed, was dying, as we lost him to that cancer 6 months ago. If I can do that I can do anything." She started the following Monday.

What does not kill us makes us stronger.....Nietzsche

smoup · Jan 12, 2014

I'm so sorry for you loss. My mom died when I was in elementary school, 5th grade actually. Every time I've thought quitting something or not following through, for whatever reason, I tell myself she would want me to continue. I have two family members, the last family members I have, who are ill. I have promised both of them, no matter what, I will finish school and not let their deaths, whenever it happens, stop me from living my life.

I know it's hard and I don't really have any advice. I agree with deferring a semester or year if you have to and maybe letting your professors know as well.

Again, so sorry for your loss.

loriangel14, RN · Jan 12, 2014

((((((hugs)))))))

So sorry for your loss. I truly believe that your mom is still with you in spirit.All the advice in the world isn't going to make it hurt any less but you will want to make your mom proud of you. You are stronger than you think. Best of luck and be kind to yourself.

nowim clean · Jan 12, 2014

I truly understand your loss. I lost my mom on OCT 31 2013. This was my first set of holidays without her. Stay busy and focus on school. Trust that she can see you and when you get pinned she will be right there with you. In my prayers.

Gloryboo · Jan 12, 2014

Thank you for helping me by moving my thread as this is my first post on AN. I was glad to hear about your niece's perseverance in a situation similar to mine and am encouraged by her success. I am grateful to everyone in this thread. Thank you, everyone!

Fearless_leader · Jan 13, 2014

I agree with everyone else. Hugs...

Mandy0728 · Jan 13, 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away in march of 2006, when my son was 7 months old. We visited her everyday in hospice and was also with her when she passed. It was such a hard time for me, especially since my mom and I were so close. She had an amazing hospice nurse as well. She inspired me to pursue nursing and I just began the program last week. You're going through a hard time right now. However, don't feel guilty about trying to be excited to start nursing school. My mom didn't know I wanted to pursue nursing, since I didn't pursue it until years after she died, but what keeps me going is knowing that she is looking down on me and is with me through this. Our parents always want what is best for us, and I know she is seeing how happy nursing is making me. I keep a picture of her and I at my desk, so if I ever get frustrated with school....I'll see her smiling face and it'll help get me through it. You will get through it. Your mom would be so very proud of you!

Dohardthings · Jan 13, 2014

I have not had a parent die, so I cannot advise through that, however, during school I was divorced. And if I can pass wisdom off from that, get a good counselor or find a support group. You are going to need to talk about it in order to cope successfully in all the other areas of your life. Give it an outlet.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother and pray that you have peace in your journey.

Lov

Liv