My mom died just before Christmas - advice needed

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My mom died just before Christmas, and my first day of nursing school is coming up in January. I was with her during her entire stay at Hospice and was with her when she died. I was fortunate to observe some exceptionally skilled Hospice nurses whom I consider to truly be "angels among us." Every one of them were amazing and I am so glad to have met them. I try to focus on my blessings, but I never realized how powerful grief can be - its manifesting in pretty bad back and neck pain, GI upset, lack of energy, etc. How can I psych up for nursing school next week? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. God bless.

Specializes in None yet..

Thank you all so much for your kind words and wisdom. You are all so wonderful, and I feel like part of a big family :) here. So, I took that first big step and began my RN program. Its going on 3 weeks now. I am blessed to have some of the best professors I've ever had, and a great group of classmates. During the second week I let my prof know about having recently lost my mom and she was very understanding. I just wanted to let all of you know how much better I feel having talked about this and to tell you how grateful I am to you for listening. Wishing you all the best. Hugs!

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I am so sorry about your mom :( It is hard, I am dealing with this with my dad right now. He's been in the hospital since mid-November, and we signed a DNR and put him under hospice care just two days ago. Gentle (((hugs))) to you...

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Hello...

Everyone grieves differently and in their own time. Give yourself space for that. I was pre-nursing when my mother died January 2012. My brother then died in August, and my father on New Year's Eve. Over the course of that year I decided I couldn't handle nursing. I gave up. A few weeks after the death of my father I decided to keep going. I took an entrance exam and was accepted. I am now almost halfway through my program. It can be very difficult at times. When I become overwhelmed by my past and my future I take it one day at a time. It sounds so simple, but it's a beautiful simplicity that works for me. I just focus on what is beautiful for me today and get done what I need to. I allow myself to be present and recognize what I need. Sometimes nursing school is what holds my pieces together! Congratulations on continuing your nursing journey. Finding what works for you can be a very aggravating, enlightening, life-affirming experience. Wishing you peace and hope!

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Specializes in School Nursing.

I'm super happy to hear your semester has started on such a positive note. Like I said earlier, you're going to have 'moments' that appear out of the blue.. let them happen.. look to the sky and say, "mom, I'm thinking about you right now, too". Keep us updated on your progress! :)

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Specializes in None yet..

I am so sorry to hear about your dad and for taking this long to reply. The responsibilities of being a child/advocate/caregiver are never easy. I wish you peace and hope and strength and blessings.

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Man. I'm really, really sorry. My Mom died in Jan 2013, one week before I started my last prerequisites. I never realized either how powerfully grief can manifest. One thing that helped me is when I read that grief isn't linear; it comes in cycles, and the cycles just get further apart. It was really messing me up to be doing "ok" for a few days and then just get slammed and feel like I was exactly in the same place I was the few days after she died. It helped to know that that is normal. And honestly, we're all different, but it helped me to be in class. My Mom was excited about my nursing plans, so excited, so I knew I was doing something that would make her so proud, and you are too! It gave me a focus. Sometimes it was hard, because grief is just so utterly exhausting, but I enjoyed knowing that I had tasks to complete, that I HAD to get out of bed and get dressed. And there was a girl in my class that I knew had lost her Mom - I didn't know her well, but I approached her the first day and just blurted out that my Mom had died. She's in my program with me now, and it helps knowing that someone gets what I'm going through. Good luck to you. Hang in there. It never gets any better, but it does get easier. I promise.

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very to hear that.

my mom died in term 2 10 days after her birthday.

it was an extreme rollercoaster

but my suggestion is to focus on the positives to inspire you.

when my mom was in the hospital, she would tell all the nurses what a great guy iam, that I was going to be a nurse(maybe this is why I continue to try with all the bullying from students and teachers and reverse discrimination etc.).

so I used that to inspire me.

I got all A marks after.

I want to become a nurse who provides the kind of care that my mother should get. while I might not be a Rn I can I am hopeful to be at least a lpn

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Specializes in None yet..

Danlee, you''re mom recognized what an amazing nurse you can be, and I will include you in my prayers. At least you were tough enough to keep going. I ended up dropping the program half way through. If you can put up with all of this, and get all A's, perhaps I can re-apply and try again. Thank you for inspiring me.

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Specializes in None yet..

Hello everyone - just letting you know I ended up dropping the program half-way through. Trying to keep it all together for my son and family through Christmas, there was just no time to grieve, and I needed that. My school allowed me a late-drop and good academic status, so I can re-apply in the future. Thank you for all your kind words, inspiration, and for sharing your similar experiences. It helped me a lot. I wish you all the very best and tremendous success in the future. Thank you for helping me.

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Hi GloryBoo,

i'm sorry to hear that you had to drop, but I completely understand, and it sounds like the door is still wide open for you. I had been wondering how you were doing. My dad died the day I posted to you originally (that evening he passed away). I was very fortunate also to be there with him when he passed. This has been a tough semester, dealing with the loss and all that accompanied it. I can't tell you how many times I was driving to clinicals or to campus and was crying thinking about what happened. One of the more difficult things for me was seeing my dad's doctor do rounds on the floor I was on...he loved his doctor and every time I saw him I wanted to say something to him, but I thought it was inappropriate to do so (being as I was there for clinicals) and I know if I had ever said something to him I'd have been a blubbering mess.

Take care...I hope this gives you the time you need to help deal with your loss. Sending you gentle hugs!

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I'm sorry for your loss.

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Specializes in None yet..

Hi smf0903,

I haven't been been on All Nurses in a while and just read your post. Thank you for your kind and comforting message. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad, but glad to know you could be with him at the end. It must have been so hard to see your dad's doctor in clinicals. My doctor was also my mom's doctor and I blubber every time I see him. That's not quite the same situation, but I can relate. I wish you healing from your loss, strength to go on, and hope you are doing well. Sending gentle hugs in return.

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