My mom died just before Christmas - advice needed

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My mom died just before Christmas, and my first day of nursing school is coming up in January. I was with her during her entire stay at Hospice and was with her when she died. I was fortunate to observe some exceptionally skilled Hospice nurses whom I consider to truly be "angels among us." Every one of them were amazing and I am so glad to have met them. I try to focus on my blessings, but I never realized how powerful grief can be - its manifesting in pretty bad back and neck pain, GI upset, lack of energy, etc. How can I psych up for nursing school next week? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. God bless.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Thank you for helping me by moving my thread as this is my first post on AN. I was glad to hear about your niece's perseverance in a situation similar to mine and am encouraged by her success. I am grateful to everyone in this thread. Thank you, everyone!
We are here to help you...I lost my dad about 4 years ago. I was not in school....but I miss him everyday. At first there were days I thought I wouldn't survive the sadness. Then there were moments that weren't so bad. That became days when it wasn't so bad. Now, I miss him every day but it isn't so bad. I have bad days when I miss him so much it hurts all over again....but I know he loves me, and I know he watches out for me....I know he wants me to be a good Mom and have a long life for my children to do him proud.

It never goes away...but it does get better I promise. ((HUGS))

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I'm sorry for your loss ♥ Everybody grieves differently, so only you know what is truly best for you. I would find a support group to help you muddle through the feelings. There is no set time on grief and it comes and goes for awhile. Could you delay entry for a semester? if not then I do suggest the support groups and maybe counseling to help you cope. I lost a son almost 12 years ago, and I threw myself into school. It was my way of coping. I kept myself busy in hopes the sadness wouldn't creep in. It still did :/ But it didn't hinder me, it helped. Just know that your mom is rooting for you, in whatever you decide♥

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Specializes in Ortho, Case Management, blabla.

Turning the energy of your grief into passion for nursing school would be a really positive way to help cope with your loss. The pain of your mother's passing will be with you for years to come, but deep inside you have the strength to get through it. I'm speaking from the heart, my dad died in 2008, four years after being diagnosed with cancer. I still miss him and think about him from time to time and that was over 5 years ago.

Whenever you start missing her or feeling sad, think of a happy memory you have of her and keep that picture in your mind for a while. However, don't let your grief make you lose focus on your life.

The best thing you can do for yourself, mentally and emotionally, is to get up every morning and keep yourself busy and productive. Even if you just do one thing every day, it gets easier and easier. Don't put your life on hold, keep moving forward. Its really the best way to honor your mother's memory.

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My mom died 5 years ago and she knew of my dream to become a nurse. I was 25 when she died and she was my best friend.

Last month I graduated from my program. And my motivation was my mother. I kept thinking about how I'm gonna make her proud. When I felt like giving up and not studying I could hear her voice in my head telling me to get a move on. I miss my mom dearly, but her death also made me stronger in a lot if ways.

Hope you feel better OP, and sorry for your loss

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Specializes in None yet..

Thank you all so much for your kind words of support and encouragement, and for sharing your wisdom. It means a lot to me. So...I went up to school and purchased my books today and found where my classroom and lab will be. I really want to be a nurse, and I am going to go for it. I hope to aspire to be as good as all of you some day. God bless.

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Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

Your mom would not want you to waste the beautiful life she gave you! Live in a way that that respects her love for you and the gift that you now have because of her. I would carry with me a piece of jewelry that was hers and use that as a tangible symbol to keep me on track.

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Specializes in None yet..

I like the idea about keeping a piece of her jewelry with me. I have her locket with my pix in it - think that will be the one. I also have my mom's Bible. I think I may tuck that into my backpack as well.

Thank you.

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Specializes in School Nursing.

It's hard because everybody grieves differently. My mom died on Christmas Eve in 1997, so I know how hard it is to lose someone you love around the holidays. I can tell you that when you get to nursing school you're going to be immersed into a strange new world for 2 years. You'll have moments where you'll remember and may need a few minutes to yourself. But that will get easier with time. Allow yourself to grieve.. but don't let it overwhelm you.. school will do that enough. Try to think about your mom looking over you and encouraging you through the hard times. I believe she will be. :) I'm really sorry about you mom.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Last spring I was in my first Med Surg course and my mom became sick. We spent months in and out of Drs trying to figure out was wrong, and I even considered asking my Dean for leave to be with my mom. She was finally diagnosed with stage IV NHL. She made me promise her that I would keep pushing on and I did. Fortunately, she was declared 100% in remission on 12-31-13, and through this journey with her, I now know that I want to go on to be an oncology nurse.

Though it may seem daunting now to embark on this new journey, always keep the faith. Your mom would want you to succeed and I am sure she will be with you each and every step.

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Specializes in L&D.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mother died when I was in my 3rd quarter of nursing school in 2004. I ended up dropping and then changing my major, only to go back to nursing school later in 2011. only you know the right decision and your frame of mind. Nursing school is HARD, and could be a good distractor for your grief, but may end up distracting you.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

Try putting your success in terms of her own achievements - as I feel certain she would be proud of you. If you get overwhelmed, take time off. Do not stress yourself further if you are not able to get thru this semester at this time. I did not start NS till 45 and I can tell you that you will be working for many years, so a few months will not make that much difference. God bless.

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I am very sorry. I start nursing school in a few days and I am not sure I could manage if I were in your place. It sounds like you are still very deep in the throes of grief. I would make an appointment with an advisor as soon as possible to talk through this. At least you could learn all your options.

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