My boyfriend and I (20s) have been dating nearly 2 months. In the beginning when I met him, he told me he hadn’t had his first dose yet. But he said he will get it soon. Every single time it’s the same story, he swears he’ll get it, then the next time I see him he still hasn’t gotten it. He says he’s just lazy. Swears he’s not an anti-vaxxer.
Recently the gov’t mandated vaccine passports to enter restaurants and other indoor establishments like theatres. He showed me a forged receipt he made with Photoshop. I was upset at him and said he shouldn’t be doing that. He asked me why I care so much.
Almost everything is perfect about our relationship except this one thing. I work for Public Health in Covid response and I have literally done everything this pandemic, last year I’ve worked in the hospital as a floor nurse treating Covid patients, I’ve done contact tracing and health education for Covid patients as part of public health, I even spent months giving and preparing vaccines.
He knows all this, I tell him how horrible this Covid *** is, and still he is too lazy to do the one thing he can do to help end the pandemic. He cannot take 30 minutes out of his day to go to ANY pharmacy and get the shot.
I tell him if he doesn’t care about his health, fine, but do it for me. I know fully vaccinated people have less chance of getting sick but there’s still a chance that I could carry it.
My friends are judging me because my boyfriend is unvaccinated. They don’t know why I’m with him. I love him and I care for him but I’m reaching the end of my rope. He always says he’ll get it but he never ever does. I’m seriously tired and hurt by his inaction and indifference.
Am I overreacting? Sometimes I feel like I am, but sometimes I feel like I’m not reacting enough.
I want my husband vaccinated, stat. I've worked with covid patients his age that are deathly ill. He refuses. His reason is that everytime he was forced to get a vaccination in the navy, he got sick. Fair enough. I still love him. I'm just looking at life insurance policies to make sure we can manage if it gets him.
I did take him to a pharmacy to get it, but unfortunately they had run out of doses. He always promises me he’ll get it but he never ever does.
Maybe I’m just overreacting? If I wasn’t a public health nurse, or any sort of healthcare worker, I probably wouldn’t give a damn. But I am…and I honestly can’t even believe I’m dating someone who cares so little about keeping others around him healthy and safe.
Your boyfriend is a dirtbag who thinks like a criminal. You can't believe you are dating him??? I can't either!!
My boyfriend and I (20s) have been dating nearly 2 months. In the beginning when I met him, he told me he hadn’t had his first dose yet. But he said he will get it soon. Every single time it’s the same story, he swears he’ll get it, then the next time I see him he still hasn’t gotten it. He says he’s just lazy. Swears he’s not an anti-vaxxer.
Recently the gov’t mandated vaccine passports to enter restaurants and other indoor establishments like theatres. He showed me a forged receipt he made with Photoshop. I was upset at him and said he shouldn’t be doing that. He asked me why I care so much.
Almost everything is perfect about our relationship except this one thing. I work for Public Health in Covid response and I have literally done everything this pandemic, last year I’ve worked in the hospital as a floor nurse treating Covid patients, I’ve done contact tracing and health education for Covid patients as part of public health, I even spent months giving and preparing vaccines.
He knows all this, I tell him how horrible this Covid *** is, and still he is too lazy to do the one thing he can do to help end the pandemic. He cannot take 30 minutes out of his day to go to ANY pharmacy and get the shot.
I tell him if he doesn’t care about his health, fine, but do it for me. I know fully vaccinated people have less chance of getting sick but there’s still a chance that I could carry it.
My friends are judging me because my boyfriend is unvaccinated. They don’t know why I’m with him. I love him and I care for him but I’m reaching the end of my rope. He always says he’ll get it but he never ever does. I’m seriously tired and hurt by his inaction and indifference.
Am I overreacting? Sometimes I feel like I am, but sometimes I feel like I’m not reacting enough.
You say everything is perfect but you’re already in a sort of parenting dynamic with him with this. It is totally OK for this to be important for you. It’s clearly not for him. You can’t change that.
Don’t waste time on partners you feel like you have to parent.
I did take him to a pharmacy to get it, but unfortunately they had run out of doses. He always promises me he’ll get it but he never ever does.
Maybe I’m just overreacting? If I wasn’t a public health nurse, or any sort of healthcare worker, I probably wouldn’t give a damn. But I am…and I honestly can’t even believe I’m dating someone who cares so little about keeping others around him healthy and safe.
Oh honey. He is a grown *** man and can and should manage his own health. Look, I am pro vaccine. I support the mandates. But I’m also in the process of getting a divorce after 17 years married to someone who needed me to manage way too much of adult life for him and it’s creates such a bad dynamic and invariably leads to resentment. You know the saying “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink?” Don’t relationship with someone who needs to be led to water.
For me, the vaccine is really secondary to the other issues here: that he can’t come out and state how he clearly feels about the vaccine. What other boundaries and needs is he not going to communicate? That you are stepping in to a paternalistic role in taking him to the pharmacy to get the vaccine. Do you want a partner or a project? That he spent time and effort making a forgery. That you’ve only been dating 2 months and have enmeshed yourselves so much that you’re hesitant to cut your losses and move on.
It’s the vaccine now. Is it going to be getting an annual physical next? Going to the dentist? Managing his credit? Handling the household planning?
The seatbelt example you gave, speaks against your point not in favor and smacks false equivalency. Your seatbelt protects YOU. It does nothing for anyone else. So how does your seatbelt example equate to mandating a person to take a vaccine on the premise it protects someone else?
Quantify "far less likely to spread" and "reduce the likelihood". Factor in emerging reports that the viral load in the vaccinated is similar to the unvaccinated.
I’m having deja vu but yes, if there are other occupants in the car, wearing a seatbelt prevents you from becoming an object in the car that can hit and injure others.
You guys are incompatible. I think it would be a good riddance for the BOTH of you. So he is a liar, and you are overbearing and over reaching. If he doesn't want to vaccinate for whatever reason he holds dear to his heart, because it is much easier to be vaccinated than non vaccinated, I find it appalling that you would ask to do it "for you". I don't see this relationship having a good end, it would be better for the both of you to cut your losses now.
As a guy I can tell you men won't change. Not for you, not for anyone. I think it's pretty obvious he doesn't want to get one. Like others have said you have to look at what you want out of life. If he won't get it for you then that should tell you everything you need to know. I mean he would rather make a fake passport than go get the free vaccine. Cmon now.
Update, we went to a pop-up clinic together yesterday afternoon and he got the vaccine (Moderna). He apologized and said he should have done it sooner.
ClaraRedheart, BSN, RN
363 Posts
I want my husband vaccinated, stat. I've worked with covid patients his age that are deathly ill. He refuses. His reason is that everytime he was forced to get a vaccination in the navy, he got sick. Fair enough. I still love him. I'm just looking at life insurance policies to make sure we can manage if it gets him.