My boyfriend is still unvaccinated

[vio]

My boyfriend and I (20s) have been dating nearly 2 months. In the beginning when I met him, he told me he hadn’t had his first dose yet. But he said he will get it soon. Every single time it’s the same story, he swears he’ll get it, then the next time I see him he still hasn’t gotten it. He says he’s just lazy. Swears he’s not an anti-vaxxer.

Recently the gov’t mandated vaccine passports to enter restaurants and other indoor establishments like theatres. He showed me a forged receipt he made with Photoshop. I was upset at him and said he shouldn’t be doing that. He asked me why I care so much.

Almost everything is perfect about our relationship except this one thing. I work for Public Health in Covid response and I have literally done everything this pandemic, last year I’ve worked in the hospital as a floor nurse treating Covid patients, I’ve done contact tracing and health education for Covid patients as part of public health, I even spent months giving and preparing vaccines. 

He knows all this, I tell him how horrible this Covid *** is, and still he is too lazy to do the one thing he can do to help end the pandemic. He cannot take 30 minutes out of his day to go to ANY pharmacy and get the shot.

I tell him if he doesn’t care about his health, fine, but do it for me. I know fully vaccinated people have less chance of getting sick but there’s still a chance that I could carry it. 

My friends are judging me because my boyfriend is unvaccinated. They don’t know why I’m with him. I love him and I care for him but I’m reaching the end of my rope. He always says he’ll get it but he never ever does. I’m seriously tired and hurt by his inaction and indifference.

Am I overreacting? Sometimes I feel like I am, but sometimes I feel like I’m not reacting enough.

[londonflo]

10 minutes ago, vio said:

He showed me a forged receipt he made with Photoshop

 

10 minutes ago, vio said:

He cannot take 30 minutes out of his day to go to ANY pharmacy and get the shot.

Working with photoshop to produce a forged receipt probably takes more time than 30 minutes. Think about what you want out of life.

[toomuchbaloney]

The fellow has demonstrated that he is dishonest and prone to make bad decisions.  Character and judgment matter.

[JKL33]

So not only is there the main issue (disagreement about the value of public health actions during a pandemic) but rather than discuss his perspective it sounds like he has told you repeatedly that he would do something when he had no intention of doing it.

I guess I'd ask him, out of curiosity as much as anything. "It seems like you don't really want to get your vaccine. Why didn't you say so, so that we could talk about it?" Etc. etc.

I don't really suffer fools and also have no need for games or lack of trustworthiness, so I would have to move on if it were me.

[londonflo]

 

5 hours ago, vio said:

My boyfriend and I (20s) have been dating nearly 2 months. I

 

45 minutes ago, JKL33 said:

I would have to move on if it were me.

Wise advice from JKL33. You have only wasted 2 months...don't waste more. Do you want to deal with health things with him the rest of your life?

Move on.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

5 hours ago, vio said:

Almost everything is perfect about our relationship except this one thing.

This "one thing" actually encompasses laziness (by his own account) dishonesty, a lack of respect for your opinion, and a willingness to put others at risk. Sounds like there are many red flags all rolled up in this one issue. I don't even think that I would be willing to change my mind if he were to get vaccinated at this point, I would move on. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that this issue arose early in your relationship so you didn't waste too much time on him. Good luck!

[jive turkey]

8 hours ago, vio said:

My boyfriend and I (20s) have been dating nearly 2 months. In the beginning when I met him, he told me he hadn’t had his first dose yet. But he said he will get it soon. Every single time it’s the same story, he swears he’ll get it, then the next time I see him he still hasn’t gotten it. He says he’s just lazy. Swears he’s not an anti-vaxxer.

Recently the gov’t mandated vaccine passports to enter restaurants and other indoor establishments like theatres. He showed me a forged receipt he made with Photoshop. I was upset at him and said he shouldn’t be doing that. He asked me why I care so much.

Almost everything is perfect about our relationship except this one thing. I work for Public Health in Covid response and I have literally done everything this pandemic, last year I’ve worked in the hospital as a floor nurse treating Covid patients, I’ve done contact tracing and health education for Covid patients as part of public health, I even spent months giving and preparing vaccines. 

He knows all this, I tell him how horrible this Covid *** is, and still he is too lazy to do the one thing he can do to help end the pandemic. He cannot take 30 minutes out of his day to go to ANY pharmacy and get the shot.

I tell him if he doesn’t care about his health, fine, but do it for me. I know fully vaccinated people have less chance of getting sick but there’s still a chance that I could carry it. 

My friends are judging me because my boyfriend is unvaccinated. They don’t know why I’m with him. I love him and I care for him but I’m reaching the end of my rope. He always says he’ll get it but he never ever does. I’m seriously tired and hurt by his inaction and indifference.

Am I overreacting? Sometimes I feel like I am, but sometimes I feel like I’m not reacting enough.

 

 

 

 

No disrespect if this is an authentic message.  Something seems fishy about it. First post is this?

But I'm sure there are real relationships being strained over the vaccine so I'll entertain it. 

The new standard for whether or not you can be with someone is whether or not they took a vaccine?

If you're unable to respect or agree with how he manages his health the answer is self evident.  You'd be better served with someone as passionate about it as you.  

It's a darn shame this is even a discussion.  

[Guest219794]

8 hours ago, jive turkey said:

No disrespect if this is an authentic message.  Something seems fishy about it. First post is this?

But I'm sure there are real relationships being strained over the vaccine so I'll entertain it. 

The new standard for whether or not you can be with someone is whether or not they took a vaccine?

If you're unable to respect or agree with how he manages his health the answer is self evident.  You'd be better served with someone as passionate about it as you.  

It's a darn shame this is even a discussion.  

Wow.

A new angle.

 

[GrumpyRN, NP]

18 hours ago, jive turkey said:

The new standard for whether or not you can be with someone is whether or not they took a vaccine?

That's what you took from this post? Never mind the lying, the forgery, the lack of respect for the OP?

 

18 hours ago, jive turkey said:

No disrespect if this is an authentic message.  Something seems fishy about it. First post is this?

Never thought I would say this, but for once I agree with something jive turkey said.

 

[lifelearningrn, BSN, RN]

Take him to get it, and if he still refuses, you'll have your answer. 

Photoshopping a vaccine record sends up lots of red flags. 

[vio]

13 minutes ago, lifelearningrn said:

Take him to get it, and if he still refuses, you'll have your answer. 

Photoshopping a vaccine record sends up lots of red flags. 

I did take him to a pharmacy to get it, but unfortunately they had run out of doses. He always promises me he’ll get it but he never ever does.

Maybe I’m just overreacting? If I wasn’t a public health nurse, or any sort of healthcare worker, I probably wouldn’t give a damn. But I am…and I honestly can’t even believe I’m dating someone who cares so little about keeping others around him healthy and safe.

[jive turkey]

35 minutes ago, vio said:

I did take him to a pharmacy to get it, but unfortunately they had run out of doses. He always promises me he’ll get it but he never ever does.

Maybe I’m just overreacting? If I wasn’t a public health nurse, or any sort of healthcare worker, I probably wouldn’t give a damn. But I am…and I honestly can’t even believe I’m dating someone who cares so little about keeping others around him healthy and safe.

Is this story for real? You're mad he wouldn't get it but he went with you to the pharmacy to do it.  Not his fault they were out and you guys only tried 1 pharmacy.

 

Did he say to you he doesn't care about the health and safety of others or are you making assumptions? The biggest risk would be to his own rather than that of others. He can carry and spread it with our without the vaccine.