im selfish? hmmm

Published

While having a conversation w/ a young lady Nurse, i happened to mention

1. Don't really like kids

2. Kind of don't want to have kids

3. HATED OB/PEDS rotation and have no interest in these areas.

Her reply ' Oh my gosh you are soo SELFISH... that is so unwomanly (sp) '

So... Just because im a woman, i have to LOVE kids and automatically want to be a L&D, PP, PEDS nurse?

Sigh... Mini rant over... feel better....

Specializes in Intermediate care.

I totally feel what you are saying!!! I don't want to dive into how much i hated L&D and postpartum because there are nurses on this forum that would maybe eat me alive if i went on my "rant" about it...(sorry!)

I feel kinda like people jump all over me calling me an "un-compassionate nurse" because i don't like L&D. But its perfectly normal when a male doesnt like L&D. i am a compassionate nurse...it just isn't where my heart lies. I Love trauma, critical care, the rush of things.

I love getting the rush of having a patient who is close to dying, and being able to follow him/her when he/she goes home! there is nothing like that feeling of knowing you saved a life!!! (not that i like it when patients are dying, but you get what i'm saying.)

Call me un-compassionate when i love saving lives??...just cause i'm a woman doesn't mean i need to love babies and pregnant women.

do my fiance and i want children someday? Sure we do. But it doesn't mean that's where i want to work.

You're totally normal. just because you are a women doesn't mean you need to be the "woman" society has tried to make us become. In any field of nursing i think you are considered a compassionate person. There are many people who don't like my field of nursing, but do i call them un-compassionate? No...just not something they want to do. And its the same for me. I give kudos to L&D nurses/post-partum because they are excellent nurses and have to know their crap because not only are they caring for mom, they are caring for babie(s). So kudos to all you L&D nurses out there :) Just not my cup of tea.

ok i'm done.

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Specializes in Cardiac/Telemetry.

Eh. I never wanted anything to do with peds. I thought I wanted OB, but I'm liking cardiac. Not liking kids doesn't mean being abusive or hating them. They're just a whole different species, and I give major kudos to those nurses who make this branch their career!

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Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

I love kids. Got 3. Coached soccer teams. Little League team mom for all 3 kids at point or another. Girl Scout leader. Assistant (Boy) Scoutmaster. Volunteer in children's homes (crafts, not nursing:lol2:). Cuddle every baby I can get my hands on in the ED.

But dang! NEVER wanted to work peds or OB. Don't want to catch babies!

Selfish? More selfish to have a kid for no other reason than to have someone "to take care of me in my old age".

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Specializes in Critical Care and ED.

I don't like kids. I don't think they're cute, I don't go goo goo ga ga over babies, in fact I run the other way. I only worked in the ED once because they had a seperate Peds ER and I got to look exclusively after adults. I would never work in an ED that I'd have to look after children at. I don't have the mother gene at all. I feel free and untied because I don't have children, and I sing in a band, play sports, ride a Harley and do what I want to when I want to. I don't need to arrange childcare, I don't need to save for college or buy never endingly bigger clothes or feed a household. I live comfortably on my wages and enjoy peace and quiet at all times. Am I selfish? I don't really care. It's my life and that's what I've chosen. When I look at people that have kids it appears to me that it would be a life constantly stressed, poor and without self-focus. If you want kids then go ahead...it's right for you. It's not right for me and I could never work with or near children. I have never felt the mothering instinct...only to animals. I love animals...not kids.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

OP, I am with you! I don't have kids, don't want them. I guess that God forgot to install the biological clock when he made me. It never alarmed.

I don't give a hairy rat's behind if people think I am selfish for not wanting kids. Who invited their opinion into this very personal decision of mine? Nobody rang their bell.

I enjoy other people's kids for about 5 minutes. Then I am out of stuff to talk about. I feel awkward, out of place and really uncomfortable. I would rather go fishing.

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I've found this often depends on culture and geography. When I lived in NYC it was very common for women to be single and not have kids even well into their 30's. Nobody ever asked about it, because it was normal. As soon as I moved to a different area and encountered people of a different culture, I got asked all the time why I didn't have kids. People were shocked as to why, especially because I was married, I had not chosen to take on the large responsibility of having children. I don't think it's anybody else's business so I brushed it off with "oh I am so busy with nursing school now" or something. But the truth is that I feel having children is a HUGE responsibility, and if I don't feel 100% like I am up for it, then it's better to just not have children and focus on my nursing career (which I feel is the best thing for both me and my husband).

And I like kids okay, I liked my Peds rotation but I think there are other specialties (ones working with adults) where I'd be a much better fit. I would tell the people asking something like this, "peds was nice but all specialties are important and need good nurses"

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Specializes in Geriatrics.

I think the attitude all goes back to the days when the woman stayed home, cleaned thier house in heels & pearls, made snacks for thier kids when they came home from school. Todays woman is NOT religated to that life. Our options for work and play are so varied now. We can marry - or not, have kids - or not, play sports that were always considered a male thing, join the Military and fight for our country. We have gone so far beyond the "June Cleaver" woman, I don't think going back is possible. I love cooking, crocheting and sewing, but I also love hunting, fishing, playing golf. We no longer need to have a husband to define who we are, and with the world population climbing the way it is, I think knowing that kids are not for you is a great thing. I have 4 sisters, 2 have "Mom genes" in overdrive (want to mother every kid they see), 1 who loves her single child (and says thats enough) and 1 who chose not to have kids at all. I love kids, I have 2, I have many of thier friends who call me Mom, do I want to work L&D? No! Maybe it was my experience during clinicals there (assigned to a family with a child born with a very poor outcome). I don't know, I'd rather take care of the eldery.

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Specializes in Peds Hem, Onc, Med/Surg.

I LOVE KIDS! That being said I love them only for a couple hours or so and then I want them gone. LOL I respect Moms so much. Its so much work. But I don't want any.

If that makes me selfish then yes I want to be selfish. VERY selfish.

I hate people that try to put you down because you don't "love" something. I hate working with the geriatric population. Don't get me wrong, I'll do it but generally I can't stand it. That automatically doesn't mean I'm an old people hater. I'm still single. That automatically doesn't make me a man hater. I like to play video games. That doesn't automatically mean I don't have a social life.

I always want to say to those people: Mind your own business, geez! IT'S MY LIFE AND I WILL DO WHAT I WANT TO! YOU AREN'T THE BOSS OF ME! :D

Bunch of lame-os. -__-

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I don't see that as selfish at all. You know what you want. IMHO part of the problem with our society now, and a BIG strain on our healthcare and public assistance system, are from too many people having kids that do not want them, and don't want/can't take care of them.

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Specializes in ED, Informatics, Clinical Analyst.

People ask me if I'm going to have kids a lot since I moved to The South. My husband already has two sons and doesn't really want more. There was a point when I thought I really wanted kids and I used to like them but as I've gotten older I find them more and more annoying. I've realized I'm perfectly content with it being just me and my husband. I like having him all to myself and I don't want to share him and it is selfish but I think that's better than being envious of the people doing all the fun things you can't do because you have kids and then accusing them of being selfish because you're jealous and need to boost your ego by implying you're morally superior for your "sacrifice".

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My "kids" are in their 40's and when I was young it was what you did... get married and have kids..be a teacher or nurse... get real.

Neither of my kids are married and neither have "kids"... they don't want them, enjoy their lives as they are..

What is more disgusting to me is big families with many, many kids. What is with that? Did they not remember there is a way to prevent that. Having lot's of kids to me is the most selfish thing you can do....do I think they are wonderful people? Absolutely not..

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Her comment was inappropriate and rude. It is a personal choice. Why should she care, it doesn't affect her one way or another.

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