Just wanted to post this somewhere to rant... because I can't mention this to any coworkers...
The other day, we had a resource tech/aid on our floor, who was African american with a unique name. And while we were all sitting around the nurses station talking, I said to her "Did your momma name you xxxxxxxx", in which she replied "No my grandma did" -- the only reason I asked this question was because I was curious if the name was a birth name or nick name.
About half an hour later, she told me that she thought what I said was rude to her. She walked away and I followed a minute later and apologized (for what? I don't know, still did anyways)
Today, I found out she reported me to HR for this incident. I don't know whether I should be worried or not because I almost find this ridiculous... and at the same time, if she's playing the racist card and HR is making the decision about it, not my unit director... I could be long gone already?
It's sad that you can offend someone so easily over something so small or innocent. I'm genuinely the kindest person, always helping out and trying to make people laugh! I said this in a total non-malicious way and everyone around us was aware of that. I'm almost angry at the fact she went to HR because there is no way in heck she actually thinks I was trying to be mean!
Should I be worried? Do you find what I said completely inappropriate?It's sad that the lesson I learned is you can't talk to people you don't know I guess. I really enjoy working on my unit... I get along with all the staff so well. I'm just at loss for words right now.
Neither do I, but I'm not inside the tech's head. As I said, it sounds like she got triggered.
But, even though I think the consequences of the OPs ignorance are out of proportion to her intent, it isn't the tech's responsibility to protect her from them.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Neither do I, but I'm not inside the tech's head. As I said, it sounds like she got triggered.
But, even though I think the consequences of the OPs ignorance are out of proportion to her intent, it isn't the tech's responsibility to protect her from them.
Which tends to support my original point: that people of color are held responsible for protecting Caucasians from the negative consequences of our own ignorance. In my view, that's not right.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
Which tends to support my original point: that people of color are held responsible for protecting Caucasians from the negative consequences of our own ignorance. In my view, that's not right.
Did you miss the part of OP's post where she apologized? You must be perfect if you've never stuck your foot in your mouth and said the wrong thing to the wrong person.
Whatever OP's "sin" may have been, it did not merit having her job potentially put on the line.
And before people get too over-the-top about this, I have had terrible things said to me about my religion...even right here on this site. I could have caused a lot of trouble for some of those people, but I chose to overlook their ignorance. What happened to me, and I won't go into detail, was also prejudice, the difference being the things that I experienced were intentional. The OP did not act with malice aforethought.
There should be consequences when someone is wronged, but they should be proportional to what happened. These days, unfortunately, punishments don't often suit the crime.
Which tends to support my original point: that people of color are held responsible for protecting Caucasians from the negative consequences of our own ignorance. In my view, that's not right.
There should be only limited instances where anyone should be held responsible for someone else's ignorance.
Sometimes when you open your mouth and the wrong thing comes out- you deal with the consequences.
There are also times when a simple correction, some education or maybe even some grace are the answer to the situation.
I think there is a big learning curve for everyone.
I think the tech should have immediately told the OP that the way she asked that question was very rude, within the same group in which both were sitting. I would be upset too, if someone asked me if "my momma" named me. OP could have asked to see her badge so she could spell her name right or just asked how do you spell that. Also being called "my Aide/my Tech/MY CNA is ALSO rude. I worked with a housekeeper who would tell ANYONE who called her MY HOUSEKEEPER, that "MY name is XXXX" we all respected that. The OP doesn't own the tech to call her "my" anything. Talking with those who work with you is as simple as HOW you would address someone in mgmt. or your patient. And, I think the OP probably feels how she speaks to others is NOT offensive to them, and has done this quite a few times... HR needed to be notified as Cultural Diversity RE-training should be a requisite for her remaining employment. Also, this person floated to their unit to help them. They could have others who would not want to come to that unit in the future based on how this nurse talks...Also, I was taught long time ago, that people only apologize when they know they were wrong to begin with....
I personally think she took it to the extreme. She should have pulled you aside and asked for clarification and allowed you to explain etc. Sounds like Elementary horse dookie at your place of employment. Send her over my way, where we are to darned busy to even have time to get offended, much less go to HR for some petty things. Sorry this is happening.
heron, ASN, RN
4,661 Posts
Neither do I, but I'm not inside the tech's head. As I said, it sounds like she got triggered.
But, even though I think the consequences of the OPs ignorance are out of proportion to her intent, it isn't the tech's responsibility to protect her from them.