My husband died suddenly 5 weeks ago. We have no children. I need to go back to work in order to pay bills.
I am a recent nurse graduate. I haven't even taken my boards yet. I started a good job on a great unit. I was there for only 1 month, still orienting, when my husband passed.
I work on a cardiac/ thoracic/ Covid step down. While my patient load is low, it can be very stressful, including many codes. My husband coded twice before he died. I don't think I can participate in any codes.
I am exhausted from my grief. I am deep in the middle of "widow's fog" where I can barely remember if I took my medication or fed the cat or locked the door. I do not think I will be safe to go back to work on a step down unit.
Ultimately, the question I have is, can anyone suggest any low stress nursing specialities (inpatient or outpatient) that would hire and train a new grad? Before all of this happened, I was ambitious, curious and driven. Now, I just want a job that I can punch in/ punch out/ go home. I would really like a remote job, but I know that most of them require at least 1 year of bedside experience.
I know this is going to be a stretch, but I could really use some guidance, suggestions, help, etc.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
3 hours ago, Midlife452 said:
Thank you for your reply.
Unfortunately, I don't have any family where we live. His family is about 500 miles away. My family is about 600.
I've started seeing a grief counselor.
My supervisor and manager have actually been amazing. They are trying to do everything they can to make sure I can retain this job. I do not want to disappoint them. I just got off the phone with them and may try going back for a short time to see if I can actually handle it.
I really have no idea what I am doing or what I am supposed to do from one minute to the next.
I am so sorry you are going through this. That is really good news that your supervisor and manager are willing to work with you. Hopefully they make good on their promises and it turns out to be doable.
Meanwhile, just put one foot in front of the other and take everybody up on whatever they offer you. Wishing you peace and comfort.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
On 5/5/2021 at 5:42 PM, Daisy4RN said:
Well alrighty then, I stand corrected?.
(Although, I did mean this for the OP (not in a general sense as being low stress) as she had a little experience with HD and thought is sounded like a good fit.
I just want to say, give yourself time to grieve, yes. But also forge ahead and make new memories. You might find a lot of solace in taking on new challenges and conquering them.
You can be strong, and honor the man you loved, and sometimes sob uncontrollably, then wash your face and carry on.
There is something powerful and profound in having had true love. You'll carry that until the day you die❤
Sometimes going back to the unit IF they are supportive may be the best choice until you can find something that’s better for you. I remember a very dear friend whose husband died and she had to take off 6 months from her job because she was in such a fog that she couldn’t think straight. She never went back to her critical care job and instead when to a non bedside nursing position that she has been at at a PRN basis. My heart breaks for you and I am not sure if I can offer any suggestions. I do hope you find a solution that works for you and your management supports you in whatever you choose to do.
My supervisor and manager have actually been amazing. They are trying to do everything they can to make sure I can retain this job.
Having this kind of support is no small thing. I think you might find going back to the familiar and supportive environment of your previous job may provide you some stability. I'm not at all saying it would be easy but it might be better than you are imagining. You'll never know if you don't try and if you try and you can't do it there's no shame in that.
Unfortunately, I don't have any family where we live. His family is about 500 miles away. My family is about 600.
I've started seeing a grief counselor.
My supervisor and manager have actually been amazing. They are trying to do everything they can to make sure I can retain this job. I do not want to disappoint them. I just got off the phone with them and may try going back for a short time to see if I can actually handle it.
I really have no idea what I am doing or what I am supposed to do from one minute to the next.
Your last sentence says it all. This is a terrible time to make any decisions. It sounds like your supervisor and manager are gems and I wouldn't be quick to let go of them now. You are still in the throes of exhaustion now. Maybe start back with modified hours - something short of full-time so you can breathe easier until you get your emotional and physical strength back. I always found work to be a good distraction during times of mourning.
My heart goes out to you. First off, I am so very sorry for your loss. Next, please take time for you. I hope your husband had an insurance policy to carry you through for a bit so you can take time and sort out your affairs. This is trauma, you need time to recover. Once you have healed a bit from the grief, then you can find a career. From physician office, school nursing, or home health, there are many non-hospital, non-code jobs. Best of luck to you as you navigate this difficult time.
TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
I am so sorry you are going through this. That is really good news that your supervisor and manager are willing to work with you. Hopefully they make good on their promises and it turns out to be doable.
Meanwhile, just put one foot in front of the other and take everybody up on whatever they offer you. Wishing you peace and comfort.