Help! I look young!

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I guess I should be happy but I can't help but feel like looking younger than your age can be a disadvantage sometime. I've been a nurse for quite some time now and most people still ask me when I'm graduating. Patients and family members look at me and think I'm 18, when I'm not. I agree I'm young (late 20s) but I feel like people treat me different and I don't get the respect that I deserve. I also am down to earth and laid back, I like to make jokes and have fun while I'm at work, but I take my job seriously. I feel like because I'm so positive, people don't take me seriously. From patients, nurses, and most of all, doctors. I work in the ED and I find myself wearing my glasses often, which I hate, just to make myself look more mature. Should I change my personality? Just be quiet and focused? I feel like that would make my work day drag.

Your input is appreciated. Thanks!

Help! I am an immature Millenial who is fishing for compliments on AllNurses because I am not getting enough of them on my Instagram!

That sounds a bit harsh... I think she was truly looking for some advice...

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Specializes in Peds/Neo CCT,Flight, ER, Hem/Onc.
That sounds a bit harsh... I think she was truly looking for some advice...

And he apologized for it a few posts back.

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I've had this problem too.

Focus on being the best nurse you can be.

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The value of your BSN can't be diminished by a crabby, unappreciative patient. You are there to perform a job and will be paid, regardless what anyone thinks of your appearance. Have more confidence in yourself and perhaps tone down the jokes, if it's affecting your credibility.

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I have this problem not so much with patients but with my also new nurse coworkers in their early to mid-20's. I'm 5" 1/2' and I think that it's the height thing more than anything even though I don't have any wrinkles at all. When they find out my age (mid 40's) they can't believe it.

It was much worse when I was a new teacher in my early to mid 20's teaching middle and high school! I was mistaken for a student many, many times when substitute teaching and then on field trips when I got a permanent teaching position. When I taught adults I purposefully worked my age into my orientation presentation to build my credibility in their eyes.

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I think "Help! I look young" is something the UrbanDictionary would classify as a "First World Problem".

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Specializes in Peds Urology,primary care, hem/onc.

I had the same problem. I do not think it is a shallow concern when you have patients looking at you and, based on your "young" appearance, feel you are not competent. It does not mean you are going to get your feelings hurt etc, the OP was just making an observation and wanting to know if anyone else had that happen to them.

Back to my experience, I went to Grad school for my NP after being a nurse for 5 years. My first job, my fellow NP in the practice was old enough to be my mother (literally, her daughter and I are the same age) and had been around for a long time and was well respected. I work in Urology and some of our patients we follow their entire lives. There was a mother of a patient I had talked to you over the phone multiple times, changed treatment plan etc. She came in for a follow up appointment. I introduced myself, gave her my name and credentials and told her that I was glad to meet her after talking to her on the phone several times.

This mother then looked at me and had the following dialogue with me"

"What did you say you are again?"

ME: "I am a nurse practitioner, like (the name of my collegeaue)"

"WOW, I guess people are going to grad school right out of nursing school nowadays huh?"

ME: "Well, ma'am, some are, but I was a nurse for 5 years before I chose to go back to school"

"You do not look old enough to have done all that!"

ME: "Well I am 29"

"Are you sure, you do not look old enough"

At this point in the conversation, I politely changed the subject and proceeded with the visit. This, I think, is the type of thing the OP was getting at. This mother had NO trouble with my treatment recommendations over the phone. When she met me, she did not trust me based on my young age at the time. I just proceeded professionally and confidentaly and in time she learned to trust me.

Not much you can do but be professional but I hear your pain!

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Specializes in Occ. Hlth, Education, ICU, Med-Surg.

you know...i've had a similar issue...

the other day I was helping with a code in the ER and was told that my "Adonis-like good looks, incredibly muscular arms and rock hard 6 pack were distracting to those trying to count"

there's more to the story but I need to run...beer and pizza are here....

p.s. I'm almost 50 but look 16...is there anything I can do about this?

:***:

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
you know...i've had a similar issue...

the other day I was helping with a code in the ER and was told that my "Adonis-like good looks, incredibly muscular arms and rock hard 6 pack were distracting to those trying to count"

there's more to the story but I need to run...beer and pizza are here....

p.s. I'm almost 50 but look 16...is there anything I can do about this?

:***:

Best post on this thread.

Seriously, for me it's almost a laugh-riot how there's an epidemic on AllNurses of nurses who look young for their age. As someone else said, dress and behave professionally, and don't worry about comments regarding your age. More than likely, patients are looking for a way to connect with you. Besides, there are far worse things to be called than someone who has a youthful appearance.

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I'm 35 but I look about 10 years younger. This is not a bad thing and I know in 10 years I'll be really happy about it (if it persists). I work in an industry right now (live music) where it doesn't matter so much but I can see how it must be difficult for you working in healthcare.

Maybe this advice will help you out. A good friend of mine got through 2 grueling interviews for a job she wanted very badly at a prestigious marketing firm. She was devastated when she didn't get the job. She has great experience and is highly qualified. She asked for feedback and was told her appearance didn't inspire confidence because she looks so young. And she does. She is 29 but could easily pass for high school age, and her voice sounds very young as well.

It was hard for her to hear. I have suggested having her eyebrows waxed or plucked (they are not manicured and it makes her look younger); cutting off some of her very long hair or wearing it in an updo occasionally; and updating her wardrobe a bit since right now it's kind of "hipster business casual" with a lot of young colors and prints. Maybe you can modify and apply some of that advice to your own situation. So far my friend is resisting any change but I think when she does it will help her. I don't suggest she (or you) change her personality. She's obviously good at her job and that's the important thing.

At the end of the day you know what you're capable of. Just be willing to defend your qualifications in a friendly but confident way.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Hospice.

I feel your pain OP :-(

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Specializes in None yet..
This type of thread is sad. People are so obsessed with age and how they look and are perceived. I don't let any comments from patients/staff phase me. I'm there to do a job, not look a certain way to satisfy others. I would focus more on trying to be a better/smarter professional and less on what other people think of me.

I also think it's funny when people complain about looking young. Yeah it's really hard to be a young person in a society that idolises youth and physical appearance.

One day believe it or not, you're going to look old. It's going to happen, and you will look back and think "gosh I wish I looked like that again!"

Like, like, like and like! Thank you for your insight. :D

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