Help! I look young!

allnurses Guide · Mar 31, 2015

My wife read my comment and told me I am wrong and need to apologize for it. She sends the OP a big hug and wishes you the best of success in advancing your career.

I think it's pretty rude to continue flaying a guy who apologized right away.

If anyone overlooked the above apology I apologize!

OCNRN63, RN · Mar 31, 2015

That's not what it's about.
And as a newer nurse, it is a big deal when people think you're too young to be trusted, respected, taken seriously and your percieved age has an impact on some people.

As I and others have said, there are ways to mitigate an overly youthful appearance. It may take a little extra time to get ready for work, but if the comments are that bothersome, then it would be worth it IMO.

LittleCandles · Mar 31, 2015

I think it's pretty rude to continue flaying a guy who apologized right away.
If anyone overlooked the above apology I apologize!

I'm pretty sure his apology was not genuine considering he said his wife told him to apologize.

JoseQuinones · Mar 31, 2015

I'm pretty sure his apology was not genuine considering he said his wife told him to apologize.

Actually, it was very genuine. In her compassionate, patient way she explained to me how wrong my attitude was. She told me that as a nurse, I will be a leader and I have to see my team for who they are, so my team will be made up of the best people, not just the flashiest.

Emergent, RN · Mar 31, 2015

It's wise to accept apologies and move on. Not too many people at this site come back to say sorry for their snide remarks. He sounds genuine to me.

SnowShoeRN · Mar 31, 2015

Another hurdle related to this is being a pediatric nurse without children of my own. Some parents seem to be more resistant to hear my recommendations because I am not a fellow parent.

I get this all the time too and it drives me crazy.

"Do you have any children of your own?!"

"No, not yet. However-"

"Well then you don't know, do you?"

No, I haven't had the same experiences as you and I understand that you are stressed out and worried about your kid and feeling anxious and powerless. But I was a full time nanny for 3 years, *have* been a nurse for 9 years, and my 3 pedi nursing jobs plus hundreds of hours of advanced clinical practice should count for something...

Hopefully this too will get better as I age.

allnurses Guide · Mar 31, 2015

I started working in a peds hospital at age 20 and sometimes had 17 year olds for patients. I never had a problem with "I look young". The only time I heard anything was the day I wore my hair in two braids (like Dorothy from Wizard of Oz). As we were leaving my crusty old (loved her to pieces) charge nurse said, "You look about 12 years old with your hair like that". :-)

I think that since there were many doctors (residents) running around who were in their mid-20s a youthful appearance didn't stand out all that much.

JustMeRN · Apr 1, 2015

I guess I should be happy but I can't help but feel like looking younger than your age can be a disadvantage sometime. I've been a nurse for quite some time now and most people still ask me when I'm graduating. Patients and family members look at me and think I'm 18, when I'm not. I agree I'm young (late 20s) but I feel like people treat me different and I don't get the respect that I deserve. I also am down to earth and laid back, I like to make jokes and have fun while I'm at work, but I take my job seriously. I feel like because I'm so positive, people don't take me seriously. From patients, nurses, and most of all, doctors. I work in the ED and I find myself wearing my glasses often, which I hate, just to make myself look more mature. Should I change my personality? Just be quiet and focused? I feel like that would make my work day drag.
Your input is appreciated. Thanks!

I suppose if one must have an image issue this is a good one to have. I have always looked, and sounded young. At 37 I still get carded a fair amount. Strangely enough, if my kids are tagging along I don't. Maybe have a baby? Ha ha.

Seriously though, I was 21 when I finished nursing school, and could have passed for 15. I found those first, oh decade or so, years that if I do my job, and do it well, people stop thinking about what you look like. By an hour or two into a shift my patients had usually decided I wasn't a teenager masquerading as a nurse. After a few months on the floor the doctors, nurses and support staff knew I could do my job and no one really cares what you look like. So, my advice is do your job the best you can, be yourself, and forget about what you look like because everyone else will too. Oh, and enjoy it.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Apr 2, 2015

I don't know what you look like, but maybe an update to your hairstyle could make you "look your age".

ChellyFutureNP · Apr 2, 2015

I'm also in the same boat as u OP. So in addition to what already been mentioned here, i would also recommend applying make-up on, especially eyeliner to make u look older. But i enjoy looking young right now because i definitely feel old at 29 already (tired, back/knee pains, wrinkles, exhaustion, impatient, grumpy, etc.). Enjoy the young look while it lasts :)

annaotis · Apr 10, 2015

I was 24, the charge nurse and my patient's family refused to allow me to care for him until I presented my drivers license to them! I thought it was pretty funny!

LittleCandles · Apr 11, 2015

I was 24, the charge nurse and my patient's family refused to allow me to care for him until I presented my drivers license to them! I thought it was pretty funny!

Did you? I don't know if I'd feel comfortable showing my drivers license to Pt or their families. My address and things are on that.