Help! I look young!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 30, 2015

I guess I should be happy but I can't help but feel like looking younger than your age can be a disadvantage sometime. I've been a nurse for quite some time now and most people still ask me when I'm graduating. Patients and family members look at me and think I'm 18, when I'm not. I agree I'm young (late 20s) but I feel like people treat me different and I don't get the respect that I deserve. I also am down to earth and laid back, I like to make jokes and have fun while I'm at work, but I take my job seriously. I feel like because I'm so positive, people don't take me seriously. From patients, nurses, and most of all, doctors. I work in the ED and I find myself wearing my glasses often, which I hate, just to make myself look more mature. Should I change my personality? Just be quiet and focused? I feel like that would make my work day drag.
Your input is appreciated. Thanks!

The making jokes and having fun at work is rather vague. Perhaps the physicians don't take you seriously because they don't think you take your job seriously? If all they see is the joking and "fun", perhaps they don't know you're focused on your work. And if that's all they see -- perhaps they ARE giving you the respect you deserve. I don't know you, clearly, so I don't know if that's the case. But it IS something to think about.

thenightnurse456 · Mar 30, 2015

This type of thread is sad. People are so obsessed with age and how they look and are perceived. I don't let any comments from patients/staff phase me. I'm there to do a job, not look a certain way to satisfy others. I would focus more on trying to be a better/smarter professional and less on what other people think of me.

I also think it's funny when people complain about looking young. Yeah it's really hard to be a young person in a society that idolises youth and physical appearance.

One day believe it or not, you're going to look old. It's going to happen, and you will look back and think "gosh I wish I looked like that again!"

Emergent, RN · Mar 30, 2015

Someone sounds like an old-looking night nurse. :whistling:

hella_RN · Mar 30, 2015

It's also a sad day when the BSN that I worked so hard for is not valued because the patients that I care for have no confidence in me when they first meet me. But yes, I agree I should not let any comments from patients/staff affect me. Thank you.

thenightnurse456 · Mar 30, 2015

Someone sounds like an old-looking night nurse. [/
This is exactly my argument. The minute I voice an opinion on how everyone is too focussed on being young and looking a certain way, someone immediately tries to offend me by telling me I am old looking. Being old isn't an insult to me. It's a part of life.
As a 22 yr old I see far too many people even in this age bracket obsess about how young they are/look. "A patient told me I look 12, 15, 18" who cares? You are a beautiful 24 year old! I think it's sad people are so focussed on something so trivial.
Everyone gets old, I choose to celebrate others instead of tare them down based on their physical appearance.
Your insult may have intended to bruise, but I will not be broken. And I only hope when you are elderly, in a hospital bed, you have an "old looking" night nurse that will look after you to a high standard that decades of nursing experience promises.
ðŸ˜„

thenightnurse456 · Mar 30, 2015

It's also a sad day when the BSN that I worked so hard for is not valued because the patients that I care for have no confidence in me when they first meet me. But yes, I agree I should not let any comments from patients/staff affect me. Thank you.

I didn't mean any kind of offence, and I'm sure you are a great nurse, and congratulations on achieving your BSN.

Basically my post was to inspire you to take those comments you get at work with a grain of salt. Let your maturity, education and professionalism speak for itself when people don't take you seriously on face value. ðŸ˜„.

FlyingScot, RN · Mar 30, 2015

I have always looked young. I'm 50 and frequently am mistaken for someone in their 30's. When I was a new nurse I looked about 12. You can't change your physical features but you can change your appearance and appearing professional and polished will silence the questions. If your hair is long wear it in a neat ponytail or bun. Not the messy "I just rolled out of bed" and am going to play field hockey bun. Forget the headband/ponytail look. Wear conservative scrubs that fit, are clean, wrinkle free and aren't so long that they're dragging on the ground and leave the cartoon prints for people who work in peds. Minimize the bling on your body. Leave the cutesy namebadge holder and stethoscope tag at home. Light-colored or no nail polish (no glitter). When you meet a patient or their family member for the first time shake their hand firmly and introduce yourself. If they ask you a question that you can't answer avoid the deer-in-the-headlight look and calmly tell them that you don't know but will find out immediately. Then do it. Your appearance and demeanor should reflect the consummate professional you are and if they do I promise that you will be taken seriously.

PacoUSA, BSN, RN · Mar 30, 2015

My wife read my comment and told me I am wrong and need to apologize for it. She sends the OP a big hug and wishes you the best of success in advancing your career.

It's the internet. Don't. Ever. Apologize.

Sent from my iPad using allnurses

Emergent, RN · Mar 30, 2015

Lol, night nurse, you're barking up the wrong tree. You are speaking to someone approaching age 60, and one of the least vain people around. I don't wear makeup, wear a simple hairstyle, and dress for comfort.

But, I've always looked young for my age, and wasn't taken seriously. I would look even younger now if I colored out my few grey hairs that just started appearing.

The reason I teased you is, your post sounded a bit bitter. You accuse everyone here who looks young for their age of being obsessed with their looks. You took the time to say how "sad "it is that people start these types of threads.

I thought the OP brought up a very valid problem about young appearing nurses not being taken seriously.

emtb2rn, BSN, RN, EMT-B · Mar 30, 2015

Enjoy it. I've always looked about 10 years younger than my actual age. As you get older, you'll appreciate having hit the genetic lottery more & more.

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Mar 30, 2015

If the OP had posted "I'm too pretty", every single successive post would blast it.

I, like nightnurse, don't see a lot a daylight between the two sentiments.

Libby1987 · Mar 30, 2015

Dang you guys.

I was there. 22 when I graduated and no life experience to fall back on.

Work on your first impression. No jokes until credibility established. Come in with confidence evoking knowledge and experience, not annoyingly so but enough to develop trust. I get this as a HH nurse going in wearing jeans and not looking like a nurse, that goes away as soon as I start talking and showing how I'm going to help and/or solve problems.