Help! I look young!

OnlinePersona, LPN · Mar 29, 2015

Help! I am an immature Millenial who is fishing for compliments on AllNurses because I am not getting enough of them on my Instagram!

i think its quite hilarious that you want to point out someone's maturity level. your comment i bet your um....12? apology or not, that was an ******* comment.

anyways @ the OP: its annoying i agree.... however use your age as a defining attribute. if a had a young looking nurse i would be quite excited --- it will be an inspiration that you are so young yet so smart. idk im just rambling :singing:

Ddestiny, BSN, RN · Mar 29, 2015

I'm right there with you. I'm 28 and often get mistaken for a teenager or a student, even after I've introduced myself as a nurse (I work in a physician's office). I'm 5'3" and have a bit of a round, "baby face". I'm sure I'll appreciate it later, but for now I'm looking forward to looking a little older, especially when dealing with sensitive issues. It's one thing to discuss blood pressure issues or vitamin supplements, but who wants to talk to a (perceived) kid about their mental illness or erectile dysfunction? When I feel that people are holding back I will say something like "I know this is a sensitive issue, but we are all professionals here and we want to help you treat your problem." With things I'm especially experienced with, I'll mention that. Or if the patient asks a question I might start off with, "Well, I've worked with Dr. [name] for 3 years and her first-line treatment for [X] is [Y]".

Acting maturely helps. Be calm and non-judgmental. Don't let people rile you up, even when they're being nasty. Use appropriate medical terms. On the other hand, I think some people try to over-compensate and come across as "know it alls" and that's a huge pet peeve of mine.

So... there are very few things you can do to change how people view and judge you and it's frustrating when it causes a problem in patient communication. If someone asks then give a short, matter of fact statement that encourage their confidence (i.e. "I've been a nurse for ___ years" or something to that effect) but don't bend over backwards to prove yourself to someone that is going to be determined to stick with their initial judgment. In a decade or two you might have a patient that says "I don't want no ol' bitty for my nurse" or something similarly stupid. You can't please everyone, and if someone is determined to be unhappy with having accept help from a nurse, then they're going to find a way.

Good luck!

Umnan · Mar 29, 2015

I have been there before in a non-nursing role. All different kinds of people get judged on first impressions. I would say just focus on how you can wow those same people with your positivity and effectiveness!

Conqueror+, BSN, RN · Mar 29, 2015

Well I did look young and I was actually only 20 when I graduated and passed my NCLEX. It was HARD but it helped that I knew a lot about a lot and adopted a no nonsense attitude at work. It was the only way the CNA's and other nurses would take me seriously. I became a supervisor at 22 and unfortunately I had to issue a few write ups before it stuck that I was the charge nurse and that I was to be taken seriously. As a rule I love jokes and pranks but it simply would not have helped me back then.

SnowShoeRN · Mar 29, 2015

Oh honey I feel you. I really really do. I'd like to raise my hand here as another relatively-young nurse (34 now) who stands at a towering 5'0". I had 1 patient - maybe about 5 years ago - who, when I was introducing myself coming on shift that night -scowled at me and said (in a disgusted voice) YOU'RE my nurse? I started to blush and feel very anxious thinking she was going to say something really nasty, so I calmly replied with "Is there a problem with that?" she grumbled "You look like you're about 12..." at which point I said, "Nope. I'm 29. I have 2 college degrees." and proceeded to give her a brief run-down of when I graduated from where and my various jobs since then. That seemed to instill a bit of confidence in her. That also may have been around the same time I started occasionally wearing a fake engagement and wedding ring so people at my college would think I was old enough to be married and therefore not an undergrad.

I think what annoys me the most though, is how condescending people can be sometimes. I had a nasty run-in with a respiratory therapist the last time my mother was hospitalized. He treated my mother badly and - independently of that - spoke to me like I was a child about how oxygen helps you breathe better, etc, until I started spouting out her recent ABG levels, history of COPD and CHF, past hospitalizations, and the fact that her bi-pap pump was set incorrectly. He was stunned and I had the charge nurse get his supervisor.

I'm about to graduate my NP program soon and have since gotten actually engaged. I think my experience with clinical placements at the graduate level have been really good in that being able to dress professionally at my work place (as opposed to the scrubs and fleece sweatshirts we wore at my last job) and act very confidently has helped a lot in terms of patients thinking that even if I'm young, I seem to be experienced and knowledgeable. Of course it doesn't really help that I'm not a big fan of things that tend to make women look older like makeup and heels.

My sisters are both in their 40's and frequently still get mistaken for being much younger. I'm sure you and I will appreciate it a bit more when we are their age. Hang in there. :)

canigraduate · Mar 30, 2015

A lot of the time what people are reacting to is attitude and comportment, not necessarily appearance. I was told up until I was thirty five that I looked much younger and got carded frequently.

I changed my demeanor so I seemed more serious and confident, and the compliments stopped.

However, I was taken much more seriously.

If it's really bothersome and is keeping you from advancing, changing your demeanor can help a lot. Otherwise, only time will help you.

By the way, I don't think glasses make you, or anybody, look more mature, they just make you look like you can't wear contacts. You probably change how you act when you put them on.

ATPtheWaytoBe · Mar 30, 2015

I know EXACTLY what it is like to look younger than your age, and as a male, it is even worse. I am constantly talked to as if I were a teenager. I am turning 31 in May and people constantly think I am 19 or 20. This is nice outside of the workplace, but when at a job, people do not take you seriously. I had one job where the head of the company literally said, "Who hired an 18 year old?!" Without looking at my qualifications or credentials, I was already looked as an incompetent person. Anyhow, only those like us can really truly understand how looking young is a disadvantage in the work place.

No Stars In My Eyes · Mar 30, 2015

I was still being carded at age 29. When I was in my 40's someone asked my sister, 2 yrs older, if she was my mother. THAT went over like a lead balloon. I'm about to turn 66 and I look to be in my 50's. It is starting to catch up with me though.

I had a friend whose sister was very short and thin and she looked bout 14 when she was 26 and married. People thought her husband was her dad.

On the other hand I know folks in their early 30's who looked 50. People in there 50's who look 75.

Druther be younger looking than old before my time.

Tell them you're a prodigy like Doogie Howser. Then they will be awed at your prodigious intelligence. :)

billybulldog · Mar 30, 2015

Enjoy looking & feeling young and don't change! Worst case you introduce yourself with your name and how long you've been a nurse.

vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN · Mar 30, 2015

I also look young. To top it off, I had my children very young, so looking "older" has always been important to me. I've recently, within last 5-10 yrs, realized it's awesome to look young!!

At work I carry myself professionally as well as present a polished professional appearance.

When people at work - clients or co workers- question my age, I laugh and say "thank you for the compliment!" I'll make a comment about how dyeing my gray hairs must be working. If they push for me to tell my age, I say something like "I'm closer to 40 than [whatever age they had me pegged for]" I never tell my age, keep them guessing!! I am totally rounding way up when I say that because I'm actually closer to 30, but I don't want to admit that to strangers, because, like I said, I had my kids young and my eldest is nearly 20.

Enjoy the fact that you look young! Don't take it as an insult!!

lovinglife2015 · Mar 30, 2015

I guess I should be happy but I can't help but feel like looking younger than your age can be a disadvantage sometime. I've been a nurse for quite some time now and most people still ask me when I'm graduating. Patients and family members look at me and think I'm 18, when I'm not. I agree I'm young (late 20s) but I feel like people treat me different and I don't get the respect that I deserve. I also am down to earth and laid back, I like to make jokes and have fun while I'm at work, but I take my job seriously. I feel like because I'm so positive, people don't take me seriously. From patients, nurses, and most of all, doctors. I work in the ED and I find myself wearing my glasses often, which I hate, just to make myself look more mature. Should I change my personality? Just be quiet and focused? I feel like that would make my work day drag.
Your input is appreciated. Thanks!

Yes, because only 20 somethings are positive minded. :up: I'm sorry, but this is such a ridiculous OP. Shouldn't you be focused on patient care? Forget the glasses, dye your hair ash gray if you believe that looking young is that much of an impediment in your daily interactions.

TheGooch · Mar 30, 2015

I had that happen to me a few years back. Answered the door and the person asked "is your Mother home". Or I get that when I talk on the phone.

I'm 53. Be glad you look young for your age.