I was emotionally, verbally and physically abused by my Mom too and at 54 years of age I still have painful memories of the **** she used to do. I also have panic attacks-in fact I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety disorder. I have the same type of nameless fear and impending doom as you. I have sisters that are selfish to no extreme and a father who is very indifferent.
My Mom passed away a couple of years ago but it doesn't change these feelings. So, yes, I can relate to you.