Be honest--do you ever the patients you take care of, even just a little bit?
It probably sounds wrong, but I often do envy the patients I take care of. Ultimately, they get to choose their schedule their way. If they want to sleep in, they can. If they want to stay up all night, that's their choice, too. They don't have to wake up to any responsibilities. They can sit around and watch TV all day, read, color, or pretty much whatever they like. They're able to order around staff members and can get upset when things aren't just the way they want, and get away with it. However, if I were to start demanding things from others...well, you can guess how well that would go. I wish I could have a call light to press every time I needed every single little thing. One patient stays in bed all day and all night, except when she goes to the bathroom; as someone who loves to sleep, I would totally love to have that life. Instead, I get to work two jobs and some nights get barely 5 hours of sleep while they do basically nothing all day and have all the time in the world to sleep.
Is there any way to speed up my life so I can finally reach the age where I get to sleep all day, lol?
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
It sounds like you are under a lot of stress and maybe need to try and take something off your plate?
That was my thought. If you envy sick people because they have the luxury of lying in bed all day, sounds like you're sleep-deprived. Time for some "me-time". Figure out what you can scrape off and get some rest.
Specializes in Med Surg/ICU/Psych/Emergency/CEN/retired.
Be very careful what you wish for. I'm going to try and answer this as nicely as I can, because I really hope you wrote this in a moment of being overwhelmed and exhausted and didn't stop to think what you were saying.
I'm a RN whose career was taken from me by disability when I was only 40 years old. I was diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (now known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) of the neck, right arm & shoulder after a nerve injury caused by a herniated disc. It progressed rapidly and spread across my chest wall, into my left arm & shoulder and into my upper & mid back. It also started affecting my heart (SVT & tachycardia), stomach (gastroparesis), and caused bone marrow depression for a period of time. So I didn't "have to work any more" because I basically lost most of the use of my arms and upper body.
But hey,, "I got to choose my own schedule", except my life was controlled by doctor's appointments, insurance companies, physical and occupational therapy schedules, treatment and medication schedules, etc. But hey I was home all day and could sleep all I wanted, or stay up all night if I wanted to. Except for the fact that I was in excruciating pain and wasn't able to sleep much at all due to pain. And RSD/CRPS affects the limbic systems in the brain which affects the sleep/wake cycle so most patients suffer extreme insomnia so when I was up all night it usually wasn't by choice. (I love sleep too. But I was lucky to get 1-2 hours of sleep at any one time and usually no more than 4-5 hours in any 24 hour period of time.)
And while sitting around watching TV and reading sounds great it gets really old really quick when it's all you can do because your arms don't work and you really can't do whatever you want to do under those circumstances.
Some people may like the idea of "ordering other people around" and having others do things for them, I personally find it very difficult to ask other people to do things for me. My husband had to help me with the simplest things, like washing my hair. Most days I didn't have enough strength to open a bottle or jar for myself, let alone cook a meal for my family,. I couldn't drive my boys to school or extracurricular activities. I felt like a horrible wife and mother and burden to my family. The thing is you still have responsibility you just don't have the means to meet those responsibilities any more. And that's a whole new level of stressI wouldn't wish on anyone.
I'm fortunate in that in the past few years I have started a new treatment (high dose IV ketamine infusions coupled with Aqua therapy) that has dramatically helped me and I have slowly regained almost complete functions and range of motion of my arms and upper body. I still deal with pain but as long as I continue my regular monthly treatments it stays under pretty good control. I have regained a lot of my life that I had lost although I have yet to be able to return to nursing (but I'm working hard toward that goal!).
Pixierose, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's cancer. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. I just recently (May 17th) lost my mom to liver cancer and am still struggling to come to terms with it.
We all know how patients suffer. I won't say more about that other than since day one at age 16 as a nurse's aide I would think, "There but the grace of God go I." And reading some of the posters' stories here...well, it is heart wrenching. This last one struck me. I read hoping she would say there had been some improvement with her CRPS. Life isn't fair.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
I'm currently enjoying a relatively stress-free life on my Social Security Disability payments. I can stay up all night and sleep half the day away if I want; I eat when I feel like it; I watch TV and play on the computer at all hours of the day and night. I live with my son and his husband so I don't have to pay full rent on an apartment, and really, the only major responsibilities I have are to pay my bills on time and clean up the kitchen after family meals.
So what's the downside to a so-called life of leisure? I lost my career, my middle-class lifestyle, my home, and a good portion of my dignity to the disease (bipolar disorder) that officially made me disabled. I used to be a productive, well-respected professional in all my nursing roles, but now my ability to multitask and my short-term memory are so bad that I can't even learn new computer programs or handle multi-line phones. I'm also anxious and get distracted way too easily. And I take six meds daily to deal with it.
I can't imagine anyone envying me my current lifestyle. I'd trade it all, including my $1282 monthly SSDI benefits, for the ability to work and make a good living the way I used to. As it is, I'm very thankful for my support system of friends and family, plus a good doctor who helps me manage my illness. I'm thankful too for not being homeless, hungry or without medications. Believe me, when you've hit bottom---and I did several years ago---there's no way to go but up. Perhaps the patients the OP mentioned are using up their limited energy battling their own private demons. Maybe they're just lonely and needy. And yes, maybe some are entitled and wear their suffering as a badge of honor so everyone will feel sorry for them. But envy them? Not so much.
Specializes in Palliative, Onc, Med-Surg, Home Hospice.
I find this very frustrating and quite frankly, it angers me a bit. I am currently on medical leave (I have severe persistent asthma) and over the past year, have been in the hospital 7 times. During that time, I have lost my independence, my dignity has taken a ding and I am in debt due to medical bills. Not a whole lot to be envious of. BTW, I am only 48.
Let's see: Sleep all day. Well, not really. I barely sleep (it's 3am and I am wide awake after getting a whole 2 hours of sleep). When I do sleep, I wake up frequently. So, yes, I can stay in bed all day if I want but it gets me no where.
While in hospital I don't sleep at all but I do spend my time in bed. VS every 4 hours (except on the unit, when it's every 2 hours), breathing tx every 4 hours, meds every 3 hours. When I finally am able to fall asleep, I only sleep 2 to 3 hours at a time. On the unit I am not allowed to get out of bed at all and even when I'm in a regular bed, I am not supposed to. There went my independence and dignity. (I have had my bed alarm turned on because I would attempt to get up by myself, bad me). I don't have a choice but to call for every single little thing. It's not all it's cracked up to be.
When I get home, I am still sick (just stable,for the time being). However, even though I could stay in bed all day, I am so sick of being stuck in bed it's the last thing on my mind. I still don't sleep more than 3 to 4 hours at a time. I average about 6 hours of sleep a day. I am very limited on my activities, because I can't breathe well. When I am finally able to increase my activity, I still have to be careful because if I over do it, I am going to end up in the ED having a continuous breathing treatment.
The worst part of all of this is how many people think I am lazy, over reacting, exaggerating, etc my illness. People look at me and assume I am healthy. Former co-workers have commented about how I have it made. I get to sit around, not a care to the world. The assume that my life is a bed of roses.
Be careful what you wish for. You could end up like me, unable to work, while at the same time wishing you could. I am a lucky one, my medical leave is temporary. I can probably go back to work in July. But if the Nucala fails, I am out of work permanently. Be thankful for what you have.
I don't envy them and after reading other comments I realized nothing I say is adequate in the face of what others have gone through or are going through. I wish everyone that is struggling peace and healing.
On the contrary, I thank my lucky stars I've been blessed with relatively good health, lifestyle habits, and come from a family that raised me to not feel entitled. My patients should envy me, honestly.
I have never envied a single patient of mine for the situation they are in. My patients have historicslly either been on hospice or have pretty heavy psych/substance abuse issues. They have lost more freedoms than I would ever want to give up for the "luxuries" you speak of.
What I have wanted, occasionally, is for others, occasionally my patients, to understand the limitations that are on me. Whether physical or emotional or simply because I don't have eight hands and prescriptive authority, I cannot do or be everything they want me to. Sometimes I want to confide a lot more than is right in them in the hopes of catching some sort of break.
But.
I get to walk away. After 12 hours, I get to walk away and take care of ME instead of them. And they are left with what, exactly? To "lay in bed all day" instead of participate in society and be fulfilled? To throw demands around at people instead of be able to care for themselves? To rely on the caring of strangers instead of having healthy personal relationships? These people are often more miserable than we as nurses tend to think about.
I agree with posters who said it is time for some you time. I don't think you intended this post the way it came across, which was very belittling. Please, take some personal time and do whatever makes you feel whole and at peace. We do lose a lot in caring for others, but or jobs should never be enough to take all the joy and meaning from our lives.
I think your post is very strange and I would never wish to be sick, isolated from my life and family. And I don't envy my patients, tiny babies fighting for their life. But I do sometimes envy their parents - especially of stable babies. I've been struggling with infertility for years and would give anything for one baby, what these parents have. Many of these parents have tons of kids and neglect them, have one night stands, do drugs etc. Sometimes when I'm cuddling a drug withdrawal baby I envy their parents and wish I could take them home with me. But I would never envy the patients you are speaking of...be happy you have health.
Purple gal: It sounds to me that you need a change. You are obviously feeling overwhelmed by the burdens and responsibilities of life.
I work in the ER and some of our frequent flyers definitely enjoy the role of being a patient. They eagerly get on the gurney, turn on the TV, and await service with a smile (and hopefully some Dilaudid).
Don't fall into this type of thinking!!! Do self care and get some R&R!
Specializes in public health, women's health, reproductive health.
Nope. I don't think I have ever envied a patient. Some of my patients are actually healthy, but they have other situations or difficulties that I would not want to have. I understand wanting a day or two off and wanting to be catered to a bit. I certainly have dreamed of having a stress-free life when things get stressful. But I find that when I get that golden three of four days off in a row, I start to get restless after a couple of days. Too much time to ponder my belly button and get upset about the lint. Call me crazy, but I like to be healthy, independent and active. With responsibility comes some of the greater things in life.
That being said, everyone needs a vacation sometimes. Maybe it's time to plan one, do some self-care and go back to work refreshed.
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TriciaJ, RN
4,328 Posts
That was my thought. If you envy sick people because they have the luxury of lying in bed all day, sounds like you're sleep-deprived. Time for some "me-time". Figure out what you can scrape off and get some rest.