Does anyone else ever envy their patients?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Be honest--do you ever the patients you take care of, even just a little bit?

It probably sounds wrong, but I often do envy the patients I take care of. Ultimately, they get to choose their schedule their way. If they want to sleep in, they can. If they want to stay up all night, that's their choice, too. They don't have to wake up to any responsibilities. They can sit around and watch TV all day, read, color, or pretty much whatever they like. They're able to order around staff members and can get upset when things aren't just the way they want, and get away with it. However, if I were to start demanding things from others...well, you can guess how well that would go. I wish I could have a call light to press every time I needed every single little thing. One patient stays in bed all day and all night, except when she goes to the bathroom; as someone who loves to sleep, I would totally love to have that life. Instead, I get to work two jobs and some nights get barely 5 hours of sleep while they do basically nothing all day and have all the time in the world to sleep.

Is there any way to speed up my life so I can finally reach the age where I get to sleep all day, lol?

So, Purplegal, what is your plan? How are you going to change

your life so you get more rest, not envy patients or your boyfriend, and make your life better?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
So, Purplegal, what is your plan? How are you going to change

your life so you get more rest, not envy patients or your boyfriend, and make your life better?

I have started applying for other nursing jobs.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I definitely don't envy them. I feel LUCKY compared to them.

Do I sometimes wish, in the early hours of the morning, that I could go back to bed? Hell yes. But I wouldn't trade that for being sick!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Oh how sad this post made me. OP, do you really think that your patients are lying around all day, thinking that they have it made? That they would trade their health for the ability to sleep all day and bossing people around. Even if you were in their situation, would you want to be that demanding patient? While being ill is no reason to have a lousy attitude with the staff caring for you, we don't often encounter people on the best day of their lives. I know that I'm fortunate enough to have my health...I hope that you have yours as well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

No way! Patients are in hospital because they are sick. Their bodies aren't functioning "normally" in one way or another. I don't envy that one bit. We take our healthy, normal bodies for granted. Rather, I have much sympathy and empathy for my patients and of course I want them to feel good during their stay! They're not in a hospital by choice... At least most of the time, they're not...

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I cannot even begin to believe this post. How incredibly insulting to patients wishing they had functioning lives where they work, take care of their kids, spend time with their spouses...What a horrible thing to think...to envy your patients.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Yeah, I do work with elderly people, a lot of who are able to do a lot of things for themselves, but have the luxury of demanding others to do things for them anyway.

In those cases, you need to tell them to do the things they CAN do to maintain whatever independence and strength they have. Yhey will have a more fulfilling life, higher self esteem, be heathier.... It's your job to encourage independence if your ASSESSMENT of that patient's abilities call for it.

If they are just being lazy, having pple do very simple things for them....I would NEVER envy that way of life. I don't want to be lazy.

I don't envy ANYBODY, bc you never know their life.

Ex:

Oh, you have 4 kids and never get alone time. You see a woman, no children, free to do whatever she wants at anytime...neanwhile what you don't know is that she recently miscarried and wants a child so badly it hurts down to her bones.

Don't ever envy others. Be thankful you have a job, a roof over your head, food to eat....

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Sounds wrong, but I actually don't mind being sick, because healthy people are expected to do more.

I'm not talking about the people that are completely dependent on others, but rather, the ones that basically do everything themselves and do what they want all day long. I don't necessarily want to be confined to bed, but would like the choice to stay in bed all day long like they do, if I so wish. I'd like to wake up every day with nothing on my agenda. I can't see some of the things happening in my life that I'd wished, so yes, I would like to skip forward past the disappointments and live each day as I wish.

And no, these posts are not for drama. While I probably wouldn't wish to be completely dependent on others, sometimes it would be nice to be on the receiving end, rather than on the giving end and still not being appreciated at all.

It REALLY sounds like you need a long vacation. You seem just worn out. We all would love to get out of bed when we want, do what we want all day. We all, of all ages, have to cope with that, even kids who Have to get up and go to school. It's about coping the right way, and taking breaks when you can.

Have you looked into counseling? I myself struggle with depression and insomnia and have taken some mental health days in my career. I've developed better skills now and see things from a different perspective than I used to. I always jumped right to the negative, like my performance review coming up, but was able to think of how it can be a positive thing. Im no longer anxious about going.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pedi.

You know who I do envy? My dog. She gets to do pretty much whatever she wants (within reason), gets treats just for peeing and pooping and sleeps the day away if she pleases.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Now retired after 45-1/2 years as a registered nurse, the life you described of 'envy' of a patient is the life of a retiree. You sound like you are heading for a massive burnout with exhaustion. Please take good care of yourself. And remember, never ever wish your life away. Godspeed on your life's journeys...j.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

In case you need this spelled out for you. Your tech job:

1. Will not help you get a hospital job.

2. Will not improve your relationship with your "boyfriend." In fact, if this relationship cannot survive you no longer working there, it wasn't a very healthy relationship anyway.

3. Has outlived it's usefulness. You are burnt out.

I strongly recommend you quit the tech job for your physical and mental wellbeing. I haven't read all your posts, so perhaps I'm missing something but you need to cut back on work and enjoy some time with your friends, family and even alone to decompress.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Granted, I haven't read the entire thread, but I want to take one moment to not defend the OP, but remind us to have empathy.

The OP said that s/he is working two jobs and often times gets 5 hours of sleep a night. While I have never envied a patient, I've also never been in the OPs exact position. We don't know exactly what they're going through in their personal life or their situation.

Fatigue, caregiver burnout, and emotional/physical exhaustion are all very real things. Envying a patient sounds irrational, but it also doesn't sound too far off from feelings someone may have who is completely exhausted and at the end of their rope, yet to survive must continue to care for others even when their own gas tank is empty. And yes, I get it, the OP chose nursing, but I think what matters is the "right now." Regardless of why or how the OP chose nursing, and whether it's the right path for them, should be secondary to the fact that they are currently a nurse and caring for patients. If patients are a high priority, then caring for and having empathy for the OP and helping them feel heard should be a top priority. Happier nurse, happier patients.

The OP is probably experiencing some level of burnout. The OP may not have the ability to switch jobs, cut their hours, or advance/change their career just yet so they feel stuck in a perpetual state of unhappiness, exhaustion, and having to care for others above all even if that means sacrificing the most basic care they themselves need to stay grounded. It's not surprising that the OP is feeling envy for their patients if the OP believes that they are taking care of every whim and need of their patients when they can't even take care of themselves. If the OP is experiencing burnout and their emotional gas tank is empty, it doesn't seem far off to want someone to care for them for once. To have the chance to sleep and not run in the rat race.

Again, I myself have not experienced this, but I believe the OP might need some empathy and caring here. Nursing has a high percentage of burnout, but something we can do for that is allow our peers to express their feelings openly, in the proper setting, and without fear of judgement.

So OP, no, I have not personally experienced this. I do wonder if these feelings could be a reflection of something deeper, and possibly burnout. I wish you luck in all that you do and (although you sound extremely busy) try and look for ways to do some self care.

-HermioneG

Nope, sorry...no excuse. Empathy for her situation, sure. Bc I have a tough life as well. But I certainly don't go around offending those depending on us, WISHING they could get back to work, even it were 2 jobs and all the other challenges life brings....

Nope, no excuse.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment