Co Worker and snide comments

Nurses Relations

Published

So this is like a vent/help I've got here. So I have a co worker that I feel has crossed the line with her remarks and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. She was only hired about a month ago and it seems as if she took an immediate disliking to me, and in all honesty due to the nature of her comments I believe her disliking comes from the fact that I'm male.

Within her first week on the job she point blank asked me, in front of other co workers some of whom are very good friends of mine, if I hit women. This was after she had walked in on me and a female coworker who's also a good friend horsing around during a break. I answered the question and my friend took up for my defense, however she refused to drop the issue for weeks. I have never hit a women in my life and didn't like being accused of such especially by someone I barely know.

That was the first comment but today I feel as if she really crossed the line. My best friend and his family were in town visiting this weekend and stopped by the hospital on their way out to say goodbye. My best friend has three beautiful children, two girls and a boy to which I'm the God father. Well apparently this woman saw me with them and used it as another way to attack me. When I came back in she passed a comment in front of several coworkers and my supervisor that I 'seemed a bit too close with that little girl' which must have been a reference to me carrying my oldest God daughter outside.

Now that comment really set me off because I'd die for those kids, I love them dearly and I also have my own child on the way so for anyone to imply I'd hurt a child really upsets me. Another thing is her making a comment like this in front of co workers and my supervisor could very well hurt me professionally. I work in ER now but have worked in Peds ER and I'm currently in school to get my NP in Pediatrics.

Maybe I'm over reacting by being so upset but it seems as if she's trying to professionally sabotage me. Now I've dealt with hostile co workers but never like this woman, has anyone else every dealt with a hostile co worker of this nature? How do you handle it while maintaining a civil working environment?

Specializes in ED.

Oh man, I just found this tonight and I have to find out what happened with management...:bugeyes: :typing:

Specializes in Emergency room, med/surg, UR/CSR.

Well hopefully you found out some good news about this witch, meaning she blew her ninety day probation period by being hateful. Maybe you remind her of one of kids who are now losers or something. I can't imagine that your coworkers are civil to her. I wouldn't be if someone were treating one of my buddies like that. Well, good luck and let us know how it turns out.

Pam (yes, I'm old enough to be your mama):icon_hug:

Specializes in ER, Peds ER.

So she wasn't fired. Our shifts will be adjusted so I don't have to work with her and they gave her a 3 day suspension and none of the time counts towards her probationary period. Basically what my NM lead me to belief is they're hoping she quits during the suspension and if not.... So I'm letting out a half sigh of relief tonight.

Here's hoping she quits while on suspension. Congratulations on winning the first round with management. Maybe it will only be a matter of time before she steps on it again and they decide she isn't worth the aggravation.

Specializes in Hospice.

Well done, sir!

Keep your guard up ... she may well escalate.

Keep documenting incidents, including whatever comes back to you via the grapevine if your name comes up.

Get familiar with your legal protections regarding a hostile work environment. You may need to remind mgmt that allowing this to persist is grounds legal action.

We like to think this'll be a wake up call for this person, but my gut tells me otherwise.

At least you're out of the line of fire, now. Hang in there!

Specializes in Med Surg, Ortho.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I hope things have gotten better. This is a long thread....and I haven't had time to read all responses.

I'm a female and have to deal with mean, cruel nurses all the time. IMO, I feel like nursing is hard and stressful enough without these types of nurses making our jobs harder. Drives me crazy and makes me wish I would have never chose nursing as a second career!! I had no idea!!

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I am so happy you went to HR before your blow up. Can you imagine the spin she may have put on it? I personally think she should have been fired on the spot, but that is just me. Good luck and please keep us posted.

Specializes in Medical.

Good luck - it sounds like you're coping really well (and professionally) with a hugely stressful situation. Best wishes for the baby, too :)

Specializes in Emergency room, med/surg, UR/CSR.

I'm surprised that they didn't fire her on the spot. She's in her probationary period and she gets away with this type of behavior?! Definitely keep track of anything and everything that has to do with her, including if you end up taking care of any patients she has taken care of. I hope your coworkers circle the wagons around you and make this woman's employment there a living h@#$ for her. Not by being mean or hateful but just by giving her a cold shoulder. It's not much fun to work somewhere when no one talks to you. I just wonder, does she have a friend or buddy in the upper management that got her the job and is allowing her to dodge the bullet on this? It just seems odd that they would allow someone like this to continue in employment after what she said to you during her probationary period. I know some places don't want to spend the money firing someone and having them come back and file an unlawful termination suit, even if they win. I guess it isn't worth the money spent even if they win. Well, good luck. Let us know if this witch quits. Take care.

Pam

Specializes in OB.
So she wasn't fired. Our shifts will be adjusted so I don't have to work with her and they gave her a 3 day suspension and none of the time counts towards her probationary period. Basically what my NM lead me to belief is they're hoping she quits during the suspension and if not.... So I'm letting out a half sigh of relief tonight.

Warnings and suspension are the usual path management needs to take to fire someone. If she approaches you at any point from here on out (at shift change or such), use this line "Your remarks are inappropriate in the work environment. I want them to stop now. If you have anything further to discuss with me let's get the nurse manager." Then walk away, do not allow her to draw you into an interchange. Again report this immediately to your manager. Don't feel bad for any of your feelings about this - she is digging her own hole to fall into.

Specializes in LTC, case mgmt, agency.

congradulations on round #1 with management. even if you are not working the same shift you'll still need to watch your back. especially if she ends up on the shift following you. keep records as appropriate and avoid her if possible. hopefully she will be looking for employment elsewhere in the meantime.

most important though........................congradulations on the the baby on the way!!! woohoo!!! do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?:yeah:

:flwrhrts::prdnrs::flwrhrts:

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

most important though........................congradulations on the the baby on the way!!! woohoo!!! do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?:yeah:

:yeahthat:

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