So this is like a vent/help I've got here. So I have a co worker that I feel has crossed the line with her remarks and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. She was only hired about a month ago and it seems as if she took an immediate disliking to me, and in all honesty due to the nature of her comments I believe her disliking comes from the fact that I'm male.
Within her first week on the job she point blank asked me, in front of other co workers some of whom are very good friends of mine, if I hit women. This was after she had walked in on me and a female coworker who's also a good friend horsing around during a break. I answered the question and my friend took up for my defense, however she refused to drop the issue for weeks. I have never hit a women in my life and didn't like being accused of such especially by someone I barely know.
That was the first comment but today I feel as if she really crossed the line. My best friend and his family were in town visiting this weekend and stopped by the hospital on their way out to say goodbye. My best friend has three beautiful children, two girls and a boy to which I'm the God father. Well apparently this woman saw me with them and used it as another way to attack me. When I came back in she passed a comment in front of several coworkers and my supervisor that I 'seemed a bit too close with that little girl' which must have been a reference to me carrying my oldest God daughter outside.
Now that comment really set me off because I'd die for those kids, I love them dearly and I also have my own child on the way so for anyone to imply I'd hurt a child really upsets me. Another thing is her making a comment like this in front of co workers and my supervisor could very well hurt me professionally. I work in ER now but have worked in Peds ER and I'm currently in school to get my NP in Pediatrics.
Maybe I'm over reacting by being so upset but it seems as if she's trying to professionally sabotage me. Now I've dealt with hostile co workers but never like this woman, has anyone else every dealt with a hostile co worker of this nature? How do you handle it while maintaining a civil working environment?
LOL my class is over, it was this afternoon. Got get that degree so I can get the same money and family friendly hours and hopefully not have to deal with this BS ever again is more like it.
Hang in there, Jaybird. Now's the time to keep it very professional.
Though who can blame you for blowing up after those remarks about your family!!!
She is creating a hostile work environment ... and did so in front of your manager and HR. Have you checked out your employee handbook on the subject? It may give ways to file a grievance if the current managers drop the ball.
Good luck ... and speaking as a feminist who is both an abuse survivor and an old advocate for abused women ... I'm so sorry this nutjob focussed on you. You don't deserve this aggravation.
You know this woman either really has a screw loose or I must remind her of some guy who did her wrong because she was about the most unprofessional human being I've ever seen and she continued to try and defend herself by belittling me even in front of the NM and HR guy
Good luck ... and speaking as a feminist who is both an abuse survivor and an old advocate for abused women ... I'm so sorry this nutjob focussed on you. You don't deserve this aggravation.
Well thank you for not letting your history make you believe that all men are pigs and awful human beings like this woman thinks. Sad thing is I'm actually a really good guy, and she never bothered to get to know that before throwing accusations. Now I want her gone from my workplace. Thank you guys all for helping me keep sane over this the last couple of days. I did talk to my NM actually I'm off to have a drink with her and a couple of co workers. So I'll know something when I return later.
Wow, some people are just incredible....can't beleive someone that is supposed to be a caring induvidual and non-judgemental (that is how a nurse should be anyway), would be so cruel for no reason. Glad you got your meeting, sounds like she made a fool of herself. Hope your little problem with be gone tomorrow, for good. Keep us updated.
Well thank you for not letting your history make you believe that all men are pigs and awful human beings like this woman thinks.
No thanks needed ... it's simple respect owed to another human to take them as they are, with as few assumptions as possible about what that is.
We don't even know if her own history has anything to do with her behavior. You said she had no explanation to offer, just continued her trash-talk during the meeting.
Anyway ... I never did buy the "abuse excuse". I've seen it pulled out of the hat way too often.
Whatever her agenda, we hope she takes it elsewhere ... or gets some serious help!
I'm so happy you went to HR. I was really worried about you. And don't feel bad about wanting her fired. Anyone would want someone making slanderous comments about them gone from their place of employment.
I hope they did fire her but if they didn't be sure to never be alone with her and continue to document all her comments including date, time, what was said, and who witnessed the comments. Continue to put all her comments into a WRITTEN formal complaint each and every time it happens.
Good luck with school and don't let this loon get you down. Concentrate on your studies and your little baby doll to be. This is about her not you.
RN1982
3,362 Posts
Ok, go to class. Got to get that degree so you can make more money.