Co Worker and snide comments

[Jaybird310]

Thanks for the support folks. I didn't have to deal with her today at all. I had class so I worked 11p-7a so she was coming in as I was going out.

Let me answer a some of the questions that have been posed. I have no idea if she has a history with men because I have never sociallized with her due to her comments. She's an LPN and as far as her having a warped sense of humor, I'm a very sarcastic person with a rather warped sense of humor myself so I can say with all certainty she's not joking when she makes these comments.

I am Southern and was taught to smile and be nice. I was raised to be a Southern gentlemen but I do have a bit of frat boy in me as well and come off as arrogant to some. That's the only thing I can think of for a reason as to why she doesn't like me. But I am well liked among my coworkers. I moved here without knowing anyone so most of the friends I have here are coworkers.

Yesterday when she passed the comment about my God Daughter, my supervisor just kinda shrugged off the comment and continued conversation. I'm not out to get the woman's job I just want her to back off of me before she ruins my career one way or the other. So today I mentioned to my supervisor that I felt like the comment made was completely out of line and a personal attack. She basically told me what everyone her is saying, to document her comments and if need be we'll sit down and have a meeting. It's all very frustrating right now.

[CHATSDALE]

i don't think that your gender is the cause of this but she is using your gender to bring up issues that other women are very sensitive about

if there a position that you have or are in line for that she might be reaching for?

it may be that you are most visiable..some people will select one person to hone in on and casuse a lot of trouble..if she is talking like this in front of you i wonder if she is talking worse behind your back

you can't win this w/o some back up from tptb report everything in a straight forward manner and state that is wrong for them to expect you to continue to work under these condiitons

[THAT Nurse., MSN, RN, APRN]

I'm not out to get the woman's job

Yah, see, that needs to change. You not only need to be so hard-nosed you want her job to vanish, you want her license gone too. If you aren't willing to go to war, she wins.

[Jaybird310]

I'm not the type who wants to go to war with anyone professionally. Never have been. I'd like to handle it as quietly and civil as possible but that doesn't look like it's going to happen.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

You need to go after the inappropriate behavior, not the person's job. If a person loses their job as a byproduct of you strongly pursuing their bad conduct, then so be it, that's a natural consequence they will have to face.

[tryingtohaveitall]

I agree with all the PP comments that this needs to be address and quickly. I would also like to add my 2 cents that you need to absolutely keep your self as above board as possible so there's nothing accusatory that can be said. I try to conduct myself always as if my director was there, or to think if what I was doing would look bad. You mentioned you have a child on the way, so I assume you're married/involved. I have to say it, horsing around with a female coworker alone in a room looks bad.

GL and I hope this gets resolved quickly and easily.

[Jaybird310]

I do have a baby on the way with my beautiful girlfriend who's 11 weeks pregnant. However I don't see where that plays into the situation at all. I was horsing around with a female coworker who I have a friendship outside of the work place and by horsing around I mean I was with holding her cell phone from her and she was trying to get it back. I don't see where anyone could have misinterupted what was going on as anything else. And I don't see where it would look bad other than we were being a little immature maybe. And when the woman asked me if I hit women, this co worker responded with laughter and shaking her head until she realized the woman wasn't joking.

[Melinurse]

I agree with the other posters about documenting everything, and filing a report. Definitely set up a meeting with managers and HR. Also, do not confront this woman. Do not allow yourself to be alone with her. Sounds like she is trying to set you up for something, don't let her.

Document, Document, Document. I'd get witnesses to co-sign then get management involved quickly. I hope this resolves soon for you. :icon_hug:Please let us know how this turns out. Good luck.

Definately do not let yourself be alone with her. Make sure all your charting, narc counts, etc are extra well documented.

[Straydandelion]

This kind of thing can be micro-analyzed to infinity *winks* but it boils down to a dislike of you by another and the willingness of the other to be very verbal about it. The dislike may not ever be known...jealousy, gender etc. , the verbal/outspoken/unprofessional part can be stopped but I wonder if it will just be quieter after that? Have you asked the person if they have a problem with you (and agree not to confront the person alone, but if in a group when she comments, ask her right then for all to hear)? I know you try to be polite but the next "strange" question/comment possibly confronting her calmly would help. Also make your paper trail for the manager. I am sure the manager likes to be notified of unit problems but also figure they would hope problems will solve themselves. I had something similar and eventually DID confront the person with just that question, they did the typical shrug and denial but their attitude changed after that Eventually we were able to work together without strain though I never did find out the initial problem.

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

I agree with those who say you must not let her keep doing this to you. :madface:The comments she is making constitute defamation and could really cause you harm in your personal and professional life. I'd document and go to both your NM and HR. Good luck.

You mentioned you're going to be daddy soon. In todays climate, all it would take is for this loony toon to make another comment or call the authorities with an accusation, and next thing you know, they're taking your kid away. This happened to neighbors of mine...they got their kids back but not until they'd been through hell and back. The person who called was a jealous ex-girlfriend.

Not trying to scare you but this co-worker of yours has already opened a can of ugly on you. I wouldn't care if she loses her job or license.

[ShayRN]

I have to say it, horsing around with a female coworker alone in a room looks bad.

I enjoy working with men as well as women. It is fun to get another side/viewpoint. I will joke and "horse around" with them all the time. Thing is, I do that in front of my husband. I am a hugger. I love to show my affection to my friends. I have lost many friends at a young age and especially since working in Hospice I know how very important it is to tell your friends you love them. I do it all the time, man or woman. It may look "bad" to an outsider, but it is who I am. If co-workers are blowing off steam in the break room, I don't see the problem.

[twistedpupchaser]

I agree with the other posters, document, report, mediated meetings. However do not confront her! From what you have written it is your "maleness" that she is attacking, just remember in the eyes of people like that you are aggressive because you are a man. Anything that you can say will be construed as an aggressive, unwarranted attack when it is twisted in her mind. Stay away from her, never be alone with her and ensure all conversations are strictly work related and witnessed.

As for not going after her job, if she stays after whatever happens, even if her behaviour changes, you will not be able to trust her....ever!