Co Worker and snide comments

[Jaybird310]

So this is like a vent/help I've got here. So I have a co worker that I feel has crossed the line with her remarks and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. She was only hired about a month ago and it seems as if she took an immediate disliking to me, and in all honesty due to the nature of her comments I believe her disliking comes from the fact that I'm male.

Within her first week on the job she point blank asked me, in front of other co workers some of whom are very good friends of mine, if I hit women. This was after she had walked in on me and a female coworker who's also a good friend horsing around during a break. I answered the question and my friend took up for my defense, however she refused to drop the issue for weeks. I have never hit a women in my life and didn't like being accused of such especially by someone I barely know.

That was the first comment but today I feel as if she really crossed the line. My best friend and his family were in town visiting this weekend and stopped by the hospital on their way out to say goodbye. My best friend has three beautiful children, two girls and a boy to which I'm the God father. Well apparently this woman saw me with them and used it as another way to attack me. When I came back in she passed a comment in front of several coworkers and my supervisor that I 'seemed a bit too close with that little girl' which must have been a reference to me carrying my oldest God daughter outside.

Now that comment really set me off because I'd die for those kids, I love them dearly and I also have my own child on the way so for anyone to imply I'd hurt a child really upsets me. Another thing is her making a comment like this in front of co workers and my supervisor could very well hurt me professionally. I work in ER now but have worked in Peds ER and I'm currently in school to get my NP in Pediatrics.

Maybe I'm over reacting by being so upset but it seems as if she's trying to professionally sabotage me. Now I've dealt with hostile co workers but never like this woman, has anyone else every dealt with a hostile co worker of this nature? How do you handle it while maintaining a civil working environment?

[BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN]

As a fellow ER nurse, I know that we tend to have a real warped sense of humor sometimes,.....any chance this is a misplaced attempt at being funny? If not, I agree with the others, keep track of what was said, when and where and say something to your supervisor.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

Do something right away, before she's done with her probationary period!

[leslie :-D]

i agree w/all others who have suggested a supervised meeting w/the nm.

long time ago, there was a colleague who butted heads w/me.

i mean, she just didn't like me and attempted to belittle me professionally and personally.

i jotted down her comments then arranged a meeting w/our nm.

i also assured the nm that he wouldn't have to say anything...

that i was more than willing to confront this person and i just wanted it on record.

the 3 of us convened, where i told this nurse that i didn't care why she was saying what she was, but she'd best knock it off NOW.

our nm didn't say a word.

i said what i had to, and left the office.

she never bothered me again.

actually, she quit shortly thereafter.

anyways, take this to your mgr.

there should be zero tolerance for this b.s.

leslie

[caliotter3]

Do something right away, before she's done with her probationary period!

Good advice. Don't delay.

[RN1982]

She sounds like an evil, jealous woman. I would talk to your supervisor about her comments. They are much more than snide remarks. These are remarks that can ruin your reputation and your career. It sounds as if you've confronted her.By the way, what did you supervisor say when she made comments to you in from of your supervisor?

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

You need to deal with this ASAP - before she manipulates others into joining her against you or gets really nasty in trying to take you down. Avoid her as much as possible and try to have a witness to all interactions. Arrange a meeting with your supervisor and take your documented notes. Ask to not be scheduled for the same shifts. Then maybe the two of you should meet with her and HR.

[THAT Nurse., MSN, RN, APRN]

Within her first week on the job she point blank asked me, in front of other co workers some of whom are very good friends of mine, if I hit women.

Yah, get your boss involved. After all, what if new hires/floats AFTER her hear her first, you just got tarred for life buddy.

As a man, I never answer no to the "Do you hit women" question. I don't even answer it. I return fire with a full broadside, I ask her if she is still in the whoring business. Used it twice, first one shut up and never spoke to me again, which I was fine with, other completely exploded and went way wayyy off the deep end.

[ShayRN]

I return fire with a full broadside, I ask her if she is still in the whoring business.

Seems like an appropriate response to me.

I can't imagine asking a man a question like that! The one where she basically tells people he is a child molester is so far over the top, I think as a co-worker I would have gone off on her. I have many dear male friends. Can't bear the thought that someone would treat them like this and others would sit by and let it happen. To me that is just as bad.

[Batman24]

Just to echo the others...deal with this TODAY. Write everything down and get a meeting with your boss as well as their superior. I would also get HR involved as this needs immediate attention. I would start a paper trail on this as well. Keep track of what was said along with date and time and who witnsessed the comments.

This isn't a petty comment...this is slander. It needs to stop NOW. She has created a hostile working environment and you need to say just that in your meeting. Please leep us posted. I'm sorry this is happening to you.

[Straydandelion]

Well, it seems a solid consensus. you need to stop her. I would talk to the NM. She could be socially inept and not understand her remarks, though if only you then there is something else going on. Beside all that however it is extremely unprofessional.

[BlueBug]

It's time to put an end to this before it somehow turns into an accusation of you doing something to her.

This is what I was going to say:yeahthat:

You need to go to your management so the issue is out in the open and they know what is going on. This goes beyond snide, it could ruin your career. You don't want to be accused and try to defend yourself from this woman. Bringing up these comments after the fact won't be as effective for your defense than if management already knows of the problem.

The patients also need to be protected from her. I don't know how many kids come through your floor, but God forbid a loving father shows affection or concern for his daughter, and she reports him as being "too friendly."

~BlueBug

[moonchild20002000]

I would immediately ask her what she means by the remark.It puts her in the position

of having to explain herself in front of your co-workers,supervisor.

I also would keep documentation about each incident. Try not to put yourself in a

position of being alone with her. You may need a witness in the future.

If this person continues with the remarks then I might take it up the chain.

If you confront her each time I'm thinking she will back off and find another victim