I have noticed a rash of posters here asking for advice, opinions and help, only to get all puffed up when people are honest and frank in their replies.
Here is the basic rule on a general open forum such as this:
If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask. If you cannot handle the truth, don't put your situation out there for general consumption.
Another fact: People don't have to agree with you to be helpful.
Seriously so much "butt hurt" that is so unnecessary.
I see a lot of helpful posters trying to answer questions honestly, only to be slammed for being "rude"......
Just keepin' it real and wondering if it's just me noticing a big trend here.
Some people are just more brash and blunt than others. I recently wrote a post about new grad anxiety and received lots of love, support and guidance, some tough love and blunt responses, as well as some suggestions that I didn't agree with. I could have replied to the posts I didn't agree with or find useful in retalitation, but where would that had gotten me? Instead, I chose to like the posts that helped me, and simply didn't respond to the ones that didn't.
Although I am 100% against cyber bullying or any other type of bullying, most of the comments on here are usually within reason. Not everyone is going to be on the same page as anyone else, but I still think that AN is a great forum for people to seek help, vent, and support one another :)
To be fair, text speak is against TOS, and it's more than rude to use it here---it's in direct violation of the rules of the site. And it's not even like it was buried in terms, lingo and jibber jabber that had to be signed before joining the site. It's freaking printed out above the box where you type, visible EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. that someone posts here. So yes, text speak here is beyond rude in the confines of AN....
All of which confirms the theory that rudeness is largely subjective, especially on an online medium where body language and context clues are lacking.
Some people find being corrected for improper grammar or text-speak to be rude. Others find using such grammar in the first place to be rude. Who's to say who's right?
Some people are just more brash and blunt than others. I recently wrote a post about new grad anxiety and received lots of love, support and guidance, some tough love and blunt responses, as well as some suggestions that I didn't agree with. I could have replied to the posts I didn't agree with or find useful in retalitation, but where would that had gotten me? Instead, I chose to like the posts that helped me, and simply didn't respond to the ones that didn't.
Although I am 100% against cyber bullying or any other type of bullying, most of the comments on here are usually within reason. Not everyone is going to be on the same page as anyone else, but I still think that AN is a great forum for people to seek help, vent, and support one another :)
I think you have a great attitude especially when it comes to accepting that not everyone will be supportive in a manner that we might hope for.
I usually try to thank or respond to everyone who takes the time to post in a thread I start, unless it just gets too long, because I think it is the courteous thing to do. Even if someone irritates me, unless they are being totally over the top nasty which I think is rare, I do appreciate them taking the time to add their two cents.
I love it, "once you start a thread/topic-it is not yours anymore"! That should be a disclaimer prior to posting.
That applies to the people who start a thread and when others reply in a way they don't want to hear, the OP starts screaming to "get off my thread". Seen it several time times. Quite frankly that attitude is so rude and smacks of entitlement. The OP is so used to having people agree with them and so they feel that they are entitled to it.
To be fair, text speak is against TOS, and it's more than rude to use it here---it's in direct violation of the rules of the site. And it's not even like it was buried in terms, lingo and jibber jabber that had to be signed before joining the site. It's freaking printed out above the box where you type, visible EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. that someone posts here. So yes, text speak here is beyond rude in the confines of AN....
I use the app and there is nothing like that when I post.
As I read through all of the responses I realize that there are some posters who consistently come across as rude. I don't mean a comment taken the wrong way by some pre-nursing loon(see) but thread after thread of arrogant, self righteous, mean, judgemental comments. I wonder how many of you who claim to just be blunt and brash are perceived that way by your supervisors. When you are in their presence do you come across as blunt and brash ? I would guess not because you pause before you speak and have an attitude of respect when you talk to them. I think sometimes that is what is lacking, a little respect for the OP. On a side note I DO keep a bag of popcorn on deck cause I loves me some Allnurses. Its like my own tailor made cable channel.
i disagree on a number of levels. theres honesty and then there's being unnecessarily blunt. consider an employee being let go from work.
there is a difference between saying "we have had issues with your professionalism lately and think it is in the best interest of the company to relieve you of your duties here" and "you come to work looking like you just rolled out of bed, you smell bad and the patients are complaining about it".
in addition to that, often, "the truth" spoken isn't always or even at all helpful. usually ive noticed its just a super rash, judgmental opinion made from someone who stumbled upon the post, without asserting any actual advice or offering any solutions. when i respond, i tend to leave my own opinion out of things and try to offer a straightforward, unbiased opinion unless somewhere in the post, the OP remarks with "what do you think?" at that point, you get what you pay for.
its one of the reasons ive actually minimized the amount of threads i post here. more often than not people will ignore the question/statement at hand altogether, and offer their unwanted 2 cents in the worst way possible and shrug it off as "well if you didnt want to know, you shouldn't have asked" except the only problem is, i DIDNT want to know, and thats NOT what i asked.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I would much rather be perceived as coming across "brash" than disingenous and fake. I won't stroke egos when reality should set in. Oh and yes, I am the same at work as I am here. Thanks for your comment.
As I read through all of the responses I realize that there are some posters who consistently come across as rude. I don't mean a comment taken the wrong way by some pre-nursing loon(see) but thread after thread of arrogant, self righteous, mean, judgemental comments. I wonder how many of you who claim to just be blunt and brash are perceived that way by your supervisors. When you are in their presence do you come across as blunt and brash ? I would guess not because you pause before you speak and have an attitude of respect when you talk to them. I think sometimes that is what is lacking, a little respect for the OP. On a side note I DO keep a bag of popcorn on deck cause I loves me some Allnurses. Its like my own tailor made cable channel.
I would much rather be perceived as coming across "brash" than disingenous and fake. I won't stroke egos when reality should set in. Oh and yes, I am the same at work as I am here. Thanks for your comment.
Some people are kind and respectful at all times. No fakery necessary.
MedSurgRN193, BSN, RN
22 Posts
Some people are just more brash and blunt than others. I recently wrote a post about new grad anxiety and received lots of love, support and guidance, some tough love and blunt responses, as well as some suggestions that I didn't agree with. I could have replied to the posts I didn't agree with or find useful in retalitation, but where would that had gotten me? Instead, I chose to like the posts that helped me, and simply didn't respond to the ones that didn't.
Although I am 100% against cyber bullying or any other type of bullying, most of the comments on here are usually within reason. Not everyone is going to be on the same page as anyone else, but I still think that AN is a great forum for people to seek help, vent, and support one another :)