Can we just agree, being honest is not akin to being "rude"?

caliotter3 · Apr 14, 2015

Oh no, you are not the only one who has noticed this. It gets to be quite offputting, to say the least.

icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2015

Honestly more often, I feel quite the opposite. I cringe when I read the brutally honest and sometimes very insensitive comments from certain individuals and I wish they would stop with the guns a blazing rhetoric and just take it down a notch.

jaycam, RN · Apr 14, 2015

Honesty is one thing, but some of the honesty lately has been taking it to eleven. Both sides could use a breather.

calivianya, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2015

Honestly, there is a difference between being honest in a polite way and being honest in a rude way. I think some people have almost been in healthcare too long. We are so direct, and even rude, with each other in our work lives that we expect every single person on the planet to accept the way we interact. Newsflash: not every industry is as direct, and even as rude, as healthcare. People new to healthcare are not going to be accustomed to having their heads chewed off on a regular basis. That comes with healthcare experience, which a lot of new posters don't have.

How many of you would appreciate if in everyday conversation you were told your behavior was abnormal and you needed psychiatric help?

How about if every time you mentioned something you experienced was difficult, the person you were talking to basically told you that you were an idiot for not knowing in advance it was going to be difficult?

How about if you asked a person on a street for directions and he/she said something like, "Can't you pull out your phone and do some research? Jeez, what's your problem? Why would you ask me before looking at Google Maps?"

I would be offended if someone said those things to my face. Wouldn't most of you?

BrandonLPN, LPN · Apr 14, 2015

You see these sorts of situations on lots of message boards, not just Allnurses.

There tends to be friction between "noob" posters and regular posters. A new poster asks a question that's been asked a ba-zillion times, or they seem to be asking for opinions when they're really just seeking validation and agreement. The regular posters either ignore it, or reply with blunt and/or sarcastic remarks.

From the "noob" point of view, they feel like they joined a message board only to be attacked and mocked with their first postings. From the regular poster point of view, they're just responding appropriately to a silly post.

mirandaaa · Apr 14, 2015

You see these sorts of situations on lots of message boards, not just Allnurses.
There tends to be friction between "noob" posters and regular posters. A new poster asks a question that's been asked a ba-zillion times, or they seem to be asking for opinions when they're really just seeking validation and agreement. The regular posters either ignore it, or reply with blunt and/or sarcastic remarks.
From the "noob" point of view, they feel like they joined a message board only to be attacked and mocked with their first postings. From the regular poster point of view, they're just responding appropriately to a silly post.

Literally could not have put this any better.

dudette10, MSN, RN · Apr 14, 2015

Too many noobs; not enough hot sauce.

RNNPICU, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2015

Sometimes too, it is hard to interpret what is said in print without the benefit of seeing someone face to face or hear the tone of voice. What someone could write could easily be interpreted as nice to one person but rude to another.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Apr 14, 2015

1) Not everyone is going to hear what you say the way you want it heard.

2) Someone is going to be offended, opposed or misunderstand/misinterpret your thoughts.

3) Someone will find angles into the topic you never would have entertained.

4) Someone is going to yank your chain.

5) Once you start a thread/topic- it is not yours anymore.

6) Pick your battles.

7) It's the internet.

cardiacfreak, ADN · Apr 14, 2015

I love it, "once you start a thread/topic-it is not yours anymore"! That should be a disclaimer prior to posting.

Jules A, MSN · Apr 14, 2015

I have noticed a rash of posters here asking for advice, opinions and help, only to get all puffed up when people are honest and frank in their replies.
Here is the basic rule on a general open forum such as this:
If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask. If you cannot handle the truth, don't put your situation out there for general consumption.

Another fact: People don't have to agree with you to be helpful.
Seriously so much "butt hurt" that is so unnecessary.
I see a lot of helpful posters trying to answer questions honestly, only to be slammed for being "rude"......
Just keepin' it real and wondering if it's just me noticing a big trend here.

This is just my opinion and I have seen the "good-bye cruel board posts" over the years on several boards but I think at this time it is worse possibly because society is very sensitive now. The whole bullying culture although not without its merits has taken a hold. I mean really someone rolls their eyes at you and that is considered bullying? Unbelievable to me. Something I recently realized is that there are posters here for whom their nursing job is their very first job ever. While that blows my mind it does clear up some of the posts that seem as if they must be a hoax.

I have said it before and I'll say it again, the more someone irritates me the more I try to explore the reason and most of the time it is on me and not them anyway. Aren't we hear to learn from each other? How can change and learning happen if we aren't willing to step out of our comfort zones?

And to those who asked yes I do approach real life situations with the same candor as I post online.