Bullying online is NOT harmless

Nurses Relations

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Those who put down posters, based on how long they have been on AN , or for any other reasons...

Did it ever occur to you that people come here to vent/ask questions???most don't care to please trolls, they are here to communicate and get helpful feedback, not nasty posts .

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU.
I've never really seen bullying on this site.

That's bullying. Disagreeing with someone, or even being sarcastic or unkind isn't bullying. I wish people would understand what real, actual bullying is and stop trying claim victim status because of it. The reality of it is a living nightmare.

This. I can't like this enough. Just because people disagree with you, or are brutally honest with you, or give you an answer you don't want to hear, etc does not make them a bully at all. You're a grown up, it's life.

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Specializes in ICU, trauma.

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary

I like helping people too. But this misconception that nurses are some sort of heavenly people who are called into this field with a purpose is how we get called rude or nasty nurses. We have these expectations that are nearly impossible to achieve. Patients and family members are offended when i cant dedicate my entire day to pleasing them. I am just trying to do my job like any other person, in healthcare or not.

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That's horrible, and beyond! I hope you are doing okay?

Just a suggestion, for your safety....if your profile is an actual picture of you behind the coffee mug, it would probably be better to get rid of that one and not show your face. Even though most of the posters here are nurses/etc., or at least APPEAR to be so, one never knows for sure.

I wish you well......

I really am okay now, thanks so much for your concern. I've wondered about my photo, but I feel safe enough right now - it's a good reminder though, to always be on alert.

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Thank you for posting this.

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Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
I really am okay now, thanks so much for your concern. I've wondered about my photo, but I feel safe enough right now - it's a good reminder though, to always be on alert.

You're welcome. I hope you continue to be safe.

Thank you for shining a light on what real bullying looks like.

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Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.

It can be painful, even just reading online, a response that takes a tone or has a reaction that you did not anticipate. That doesn't mean it is bullying, otherwise your original post here would qualify due to calling so many people "nasty" and stating you feel they/we would be unqualified to care for patients with compassion. I don't feel bullied because you have an opinion. I don't even feel bullied by the fact that you sought us out to make sure it was read should we journey to this website.

If it bothers you this much, and I mean this in the most unbullying way possible, get off the computer. Go live your life. This is a voluntary activity and if a voluntary activity is detrimental to you and causing you mental distress, it would truly be a sign of some kind of disordered thinking to continue to engage in it. Bullies are responsible for their behavior, but so are their victims for their own behavior. Judge Judy would be asking you in that cryptic tone of hers why you keep coming here if it makes you feel bad. Seriously. Go. It will be okay. I wish you well.

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Those who put down posters, based on how long they have been on AN , or for any other reasons...

Did it ever occur to you that people come here to vent/ask questions???most don't care to please trolls, they are here to communicate and get helpful feedback, not nasty posts .

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Nurses generally speak very plainly and bluntly, a lot of people can't handle it. Please refrain from visiting this site if it doesn't meet your emotional needs.

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Specializes in PICU.

Disagreeing with someone or not supporting a choice of someone is not bullying. Everyone will have opinions about something. In addition, reading the written word can always be construed in many directions. Written words can have a tone in both positive and negative. What I may see as something nice, someone else could read the same thing and interpret it as hurtful. If someone is asking for advice sometimes it may be a truth you don't want to hear. We can't always be in the right.

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Those who put down posters, based on how long they have been on AN , or for any other reasons...

Did it ever occur to you that people come here to vent/ask questions???most don't care to please trolls, they are here to communicate and get helpful feedback, not nasty posts .

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Thank you for your insight. I also have seen the harsh remarks, but because I have not been here in awhile, I chose to not say anything.

However, I do agree with some of the others about you saying "nasty nurses"..... some of us, myself included, have a very sarcastic sense of humor, but when it comes to patient care, we are definitely among the best... and love our patients. However... we may vocalize in certain situations our displeasure in regards to some things. In looking at that, please also take note, that when reading ones words, you may not be able to hear the humor in their voice, or the exasperation after an exceedingly difficult day.

So please, be patient. And if you see or read something you do not like, pass on by.... it saves a huge argument that is sure to ensue.... after all, we are ALL very strong personalities. If we weren't, we wouldn't be nurses, now would we? :)

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I've never seen bullying on AN. I've frequented a lot of different forums over the years and this one is the least prone to nastiness that I've ever encountered. Sure, tense discussions sometimes happen but I don't see meanness.

Online "bullying" is the easiest bullying to combat. Don't like what you see? Close the tab and navigate away. Why allow a literal stranger who doesn't even know your name to upset you?

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I've never really seen bullying on this site.

On reddit, someone decided they didn't like me, and found a photo I had posted of myself. He posted it all over the place, making fun of me. Then other people started messaging me, calling me terrible names, threatening to kill me. Then they found me on other social media sites and started harassing me there - telling me to kill myself, saying that I was too ugly to have ever been raped (a story I shared on reddit to help someone who was going through something similar), trying to find my home address. They were leaving comments about what a terrible person I was, how ugly/stupid/etc I was, that I should be raped again - everywhere. I had to completely wipe all my reddit posts, and wipe out most of my social media accounts.

That's bullying. Disagreeing with someone, or even being sarcastic or unkind isn't bullying. I wish people would understand what real, actual bullying is and stop trying claim victim status because of it. The reality of it is a living nightmare.

I've never seen real bullying on this site either, although I have seen posters complaining of being bullied any time anyone gave them an answer to their question that they didn't like, didn't expect or wasn't exactly what they were looking for.

In the early days of the usenet, I was a member of a group discussing soap operas in ABC. I posted what turned out to be an unpopular opinion about two of the soap opera characters, and I, too had death threats. People wrote me posts and sent me private emails full of expletives, made various threats including raping me, killing me, etc. When one poster emailed me a google map with my house circled in red and a threat to "come to your door with my trained attack dogs and have them rip you to shreds and eat you", that scared me out of the group and off the internet for years.

That's bullying.

Something else that is bullying . . . constantly complaining about being bullied, threatening to retaliate and trying to line up others to retaliate on your behalf.

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I've quoted it once, I've quoted it a thousand times:

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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