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Bullying online is NOT harmless

Posted
by Dianna11 Dianna11 (Member)

Those who put down posters, based on how long they have been on AN , or for any other reasons...

Did it ever occur to you that people come here to vent/ask questions???most don't care to please trolls, they are here to communicate and get helpful feedback, not nasty posts .

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Emergent, RN

Specializes in ER. Has 28 years experience.

If this site is bothering you, don't visit it.

Sour Lemon

Has 9 years experience.

No one on this internet site (or any other) is "real" enough to me to cause me any distress. I'm human and can get irritated just like anyone else, but I don't ever feel bullied in situations where I can simply log off.

roser13, ASN, RN

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC. Has 17 years experience.

Those who put down posters, based on how long they have been on AN , or for any other reasons...

Did it ever occur to you that people come here to vent/ask questions???most don't care to please trolls, they are here to communicate and get helpful feedback, not nasty posts .

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Responses are what they are. Nasty/helpful is in the mind of the reader.

One of those down to earth nasty nurses may save your life one day. You will then be grateful that your nurse was more focused on saving your life than on being politically correct. In spite of your stated preferences.

heron, ASN, RN

Specializes in Hospice. Has 40 years experience.

AA folks (the other AA) talk a lot about "stinkin' thinkin'". It refers to the phenomenon of self-sabotage by means of unrealistic expectations, inaccurate assumptions and dishonesty with oneself.

In this case, labelling everyone who has an opinion you don't like a "bully" neatly lets you off the hook of responsibility for your own assumptions and behavior. The payoff is, since you don't get to control others' perceptions, thoughts or behavior, you've bought yourself an endless supply of tea and sympathy, not to mention people telling you how awesome you are.

Enjoy!

klone, MSN, RN

Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership. Has 15 years experience.

Dude, you seem to be perseverating on bullying and nurses "eating their young." I just looked at all the threads on the subject you have started.

Who hurt you?

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 10 years medical. Has 42 years experience.

Dude

Now, "Dude".

Isn't the proper gender-specific term "Dudette", klone?

I am merely an enquiring mind who wants to know.

Nothing more.

macawake, MSN

Has 13 years experience.

I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary.

Considering how you've chosen to express yourself, how do you picture this thread developing? You've essentially launched a "broad-brush" attack on a number of nurses that you've likely never met in real life and have no earthly way of judging the quality of their professional capabilities.

While it may be your belief that posters who've responded to you in ways

that you don't appreciate translates to poor nursing skills, I don't see the correlation. Certainly not when taken to the extreme of generalizing your conclusion to encompass everyone you feel slighted by.

Chances are that many of the nurses who disagree with you here are in fact excellent nurses, or at least perfectly adequate, and you'd never know from meeting them at their place of work, that they are in fact one of the individuals who has upset you here.

I'm trying to understand the purpose of this thread. Are you hoping for a constructive exchange of opinions? If so, I think that's best facilitated by a more neutral phrasing and a conciliatory tone. I honestly don't see how calling people "nasty" will generate a positive outcome. I mean, how would you react to being called nasty?

What I think will happen is that some posters will get angry at being called nasty and respond in a harsh, less than lovey-dovey way. That will in turn reinforce your belief that you're being treated poorly by other posters. While perhaps not done consciously, it's almost as if the thread is designed to elicit confirmation of your already formed convictions.

Edited by macawake

I've never really seen bullying on this site.

On reddit, someone decided they didn't like me, and found a photo I had posted of myself. He posted it all over the place, making fun of me. Then other people started messaging me, calling me terrible names, threatening to kill me. Then they found me on other social media sites and started harassing me there - telling me to kill myself, saying that I was too ugly to have ever been raped (a story I shared on reddit to help someone who was going through something similar), trying to find my home address. They were leaving comments about what a terrible person I was, how ugly/stupid/etc I was, that I should be raped again - everywhere. I had to completely wipe all my reddit posts, and wipe out most of my social media accounts.

That's bullying. Disagreeing with someone, or even being sarcastic or unkind isn't bullying. I wish people would understand what real, actual bullying is and stop trying claim victim status because of it. The reality of it is a living nightmare.

kakamegamama

Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

I've never really seen bullying on this site.

On reddit, someone decided they didn't like me, and found a photo I had posted of myself. He posted it all over the place, making fun of me. Then other people started messaging me, calling me terrible names, threatening to kill me. Then they found me on other social media sites and started harassing me there - telling me to kill myself, saying that I was too ugly to have ever been raped (a story I shared on reddit to help someone who was going through something similar), trying to find my home address. They were leaving comments about what a terrible person I was, how ugly/stupid/etc I was, that I should be raped again - everywhere. I had to completely wipe all my reddit posts, and wipe out most of my social media accounts.

That's bullying. Disagreeing with someone, or even being sarcastic or unkind isn't bullying. I wish people would understand what real, actual bullying is and stop trying claim victim status because of it. The reality of it is a living nightmare.

That's horrible, and beyond! I hope you are doing okay?

Just a suggestion, for your safety....if your profile is an actual picture of you behind the coffee mug, it would probably be better to get rid of that one and not show your face. Even though most of the posters here are nurses/etc., or at least APPEAR to be so, one never knows for sure.

I wish you well......

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych. Has 15 years experience.

Just a suggestion, for your safety....if your profile is an actual picture of you behind the coffee mug, it would probably be better to get rid of that one and not show your face.
I think the coffee mug in Jen's avatar picture conceals enough of her face to keep the general public from identifying her.

kakamegamama

Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

I think the coffee mug in Jen's avatar picture conceals enough of her face to keep the general public from identifying her.

I truly hope so. However, the eyes......

JadedCPN, BSN, RN

Specializes in Pediatrics, Pediatric Float, PICU, NICU. Has 15 years experience.

I've never really seen bullying on this site.

That's bullying. Disagreeing with someone, or even being sarcastic or unkind isn't bullying. I wish people would understand what real, actual bullying is and stop trying claim victim status because of it. The reality of it is a living nightmare.

This. I can't like this enough. Just because people disagree with you, or are brutally honest with you, or give you an answer you don't want to hear, etc does not make them a bully at all. You're a grown up, it's life.

BSN16

Specializes in ICU, trauma.

I came into this field because I love helping ppl. I honestly hope that none of those nasty nurses will attend to me or to my loved ones. It's scary

I like helping people too. But this misconception that nurses are some sort of heavenly people who are called into this field with a purpose is how we get called rude or nasty nurses. We have these expectations that are nearly impossible to achieve. Patients and family members are offended when i cant dedicate my entire day to pleasing them. I am just trying to do my job like any other person, in healthcare or not.

That's horrible, and beyond! I hope you are doing okay?

Just a suggestion, for your safety....if your profile is an actual picture of you behind the coffee mug, it would probably be better to get rid of that one and not show your face. Even though most of the posters here are nurses/etc., or at least APPEAR to be so, one never knows for sure.

I wish you well......

I really am okay now, thanks so much for your concern. I've wondered about my photo, but I feel safe enough right now - it's a good reminder though, to always be on alert.

Thank you for posting this.

kakamegamama

Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

I really am okay now, thanks so much for your concern. I've wondered about my photo, but I feel safe enough right now - it's a good reminder though, to always be on alert.

You're welcome. I hope you continue to be safe.

Thank you for shining a light on what real bullying looks like.

Nurse SMS, MSN, RN

Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development. Has 10 years experience.

It can be painful, even just reading online, a response that takes a tone or has a reaction that you did not anticipate. That doesn't mean it is bullying, otherwise your original post here would qualify due to calling so many people "nasty" and stating you feel they/we would be unqualified to care for patients with compassion. I don't feel bullied because you have an opinion. I don't even feel bullied by the fact that you sought us out to make sure it was read should we journey to this website.

If it bothers you this much, and I mean this in the most unbullying way possible, get off the computer. Go live your life. This is a voluntary activity and if a voluntary activity is detrimental to you and causing you mental distress, it would truly be a sign of some kind of disordered thinking to continue to engage in it. Bullies are responsible for their behavior, but so are their victims for their own behavior. Judge Judy would be asking you in that cryptic tone of hers why you keep coming here if it makes you feel bad. Seriously. Go. It will be okay. I wish you well.

Edited by not.done.yet
found a typo