In light of a couple of recent threads where someone has asked a question or asked if their opinion might be wrong - only to return with ugly responses to well- intentioned advice or experience - I did some research into the question why do people ask for advice they have no intention of following. What I discovered was a new term called Askholes.
In essence when someone asks for advice/opinions from others they are doing one of three things. !: they are genuinely seeking input, advice or an objective opinion. 2. They are looking for approval for a course of action they have already embarked on. 3. They are seeking validation for an opinion they have that they have no intention of changing.
In the millennial age where feelings are more important than facts and opinions are always right if they make the person who has them happy we see way to much of this.
When someone asks "Am I wrong? when they clearly think they are right and have no intention of hearing out responses I believe all answers should be qualified with the proviso: "Do you really want an answer?"
I am a person of strong conviction and opinion - and yet I have often times learned a lot from people when I ask for an opinion/advice and am open to all answers.
So I guess what I am saying is don't ask if you don't want answers.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
1 hour ago, OldDude said:
I guess you could say it kinda went down the toilet...that's ok, hppy still loves us ❤️
Yeah, I've seen a lot of posts and threads that should have gone down the toilet like this one did. Unfortunately, this was a great and timely topic. I find that I'm getting a little cranky about new posters who ask a question when what they really want is for people to jump in and agree with them. The n if you disagree with them, they get all snarky and tell you you something like "You are a horrible nurse; I would never let you take care of MY family," or "I feel sorry for your orientees. You're mean, nasty person and you should never be a preceptor."
Oh my favourite is always, im nursing student and I failed. But it’s not my fault. It’s everyone else’s. It was only one point. I’m going to sue the school.
Gosh yes! It's never the student's fault for failing. It's the bully instructor that apparently has it out for that one student while allowing other students to "get away with" so much! Bonus points when said student is filing a petition to overturn the failing grade with the Dean and is going to go up the chain of command all the way to hiring a lawyer and suing the entire school if necessary. Drive's me up a wall!
PS. After actually reading the rest of the comments, the answer is clear. TP rolls out on top, never against the wall. Took me 25 years but hubby is finally trained to do it right. Now we just have to work on the seat down thing to achieve wedded bliss.
I have met some of these Askholes in person as well including patients. I like to respond with "Why did you ask me if you didnt want to know". They can be frustrating. Agree that i also dont understand the nasty responses from posters who ask questions and dont like the answers.
PS. My hubbie has the TP thing down but cant seem to figure out to move items in the frig to find what he is looking for (guy thing?).
I actually prefer to be called an Elder Millenial since I am in my early 30's. I hate being lumped into that group since I don't identify with these 20-somethings. Millenial is 1983-2000 and I was born in the mid-80's. I still grew up playing outside, respecting my elders, no participation trophies, without hand holding and without technology 24/7.
Ruby Vee, BSN
17 Articles; 14,051 Posts
Yeah, I've seen a lot of posts and threads that should have gone down the toilet like this one did. Unfortunately, this was a great and timely topic. I find that I'm getting a little cranky about new posters who ask a question when what they really want is for people to jump in and agree with them. The n if you disagree with them, they get all snarky and tell you you something like "You are a horrible nurse; I would never let you take care of MY family," or "I feel sorry for your orientees. You're mean, nasty person and you should never be a preceptor."