In light of a couple of recent threads where someone has asked a question or asked if their opinion might be wrong - only to return with ugly responses to well- intentioned advice or experience - I did some research into the question why do people ask for advice they have no intention of following. What I discovered was a new term called Askholes.
In essence when someone asks for advice/opinions from others they are doing one of three things. !: they are genuinely seeking input, advice or an objective opinion. 2. They are looking for approval for a course of action they have already embarked on. 3. They are seeking validation for an opinion they have that they have no intention of changing.
In the millennial age where feelings are more important than facts and opinions are always right if they make the person who has them happy we see way to much of this.
When someone asks "Am I wrong? when they clearly think they are right and have no intention of hearing out responses I believe all answers should be qualified with the proviso: "Do you really want an answer?"
I am a person of strong conviction and opinion - and yet I have often times learned a lot from people when I ask for an opinion/advice and am open to all answers.
So I guess what I am saying is don't ask if you don't want answers.
Can I please add to the list everyone who calls at 3 AM to just let me know that patient whom I ordered bowel regiment just had perfectly normal BM and if I want to do something about it, writes down full nursing note about this tremendously important event and then tries to justify it by stating that "it was just for me being patient advocate"?
Not to derail this topic but I love how every negative social issue is always thrust upon the shoulders of millennials, as if millenials invented passive aggressiveness, self-validation, rhetorical questions, or any of the other variations of the Askhole.
Its not like Shakespeare used this to great effect in his writings or anything.
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
22 minutes ago, Asystole RN said:
Not to derail this topic but I love how every negative social issue is always thrust upon the shoulders of millennials, as if millenials invented passive aggressiveness, self-validation, rhetorical questions, or any of the other variations of the Askhole.
Its not like Shakespeare used this to great effect in his writings or anything.
Actually, the only person who mentioned millenials self-identified as millenial. No one has to wear any shoes that don't fit.
Not to derail this topic but I love how every negative social issue is always thrust upon the shoulders of millennials, as if millenials invented passive aggressiveness, self-validation, rhetorical questions, or any of the other variations of the Askhole.
Its not like Shakespeare used this to great effect in his writings or anything.
You're right--it's not just millennials. Most "askholes" I know are millennials perhaps because those are my peers. Every generation has their fair share of whiners, beggars, and wimps.
Specializes in ICU/community health/school nursing.
1 minute ago, BiscuitRN said:
You're right--it's not just millennials. Most "askholes" I know are millennials perhaps because those are my peers. Every generation has their fair share of whiners, beggars, and wimps.
Amen, Biscuit!!
I am an AskHole with Mr. Ruby Jane but I'm trying to stop that....
I am an AskHole with Mr. Ruby Jane but I'm trying to stop that....
Hahaha Ruby, I was just thinking that! Like, does it count if I ask my husband if he knows how to put the toilet paper on the roller, and if not would he like me to demonstrate? Or other similar questions I already know the answers to.
Hahaha Ruby, I was just thinking that! Like, does it count if I ask my husband if he knows how to put the toilet paper on the roller, and if not would he like me to demonstrate? Or other similar questions I already know the answers to.
Yea, yea! Or when he DOES put the toilet paper on the roller but leaves the paper hanging on the wrong side of the roll!! That's the worst!! ?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
13 hours ago, hppygr8ful said:
In light of a couple of recent threads where someone has asked a question or asked if their opinion might be wrong - only to return with ugly responses to well- intentioned advice or experience - I did some research into the question why do people ask for advice they have no intention of following. What I discovered was a new term called Askholes.
In essence when someone asks for advice/opinions from others they are doing one of three things. !: they are genuinely seeking input, advice or an objective opinion. 2. They are looking for approval for a course of action they have already embarked on. 3. They are seeking validation for an opinion they have that they have no intention of changing.
In the millennial age where feelings are more important than facts and opinions are always right if they make the person who has them happy we see way to much of this.
When someone asks "Am I wrong? when they clearly think they are right and have no intention of hearing out responses I believe all answers should be qualified with the proviso: "Do you really want an answer?"
I am a person of strong conviction and opinion - and yet I have often times learned a lot from people when I ask for an opinion/advice and am open to all answers.
So I guess what I am saying is don't ask if you don't want answers.
Hppy
YES! And whether or not you actually want answers, don't go all snarky on people with whom you disagree!
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
2 hours ago, OldDude said:
Yea, yea! Or when he DOES put the toilet paper on the roller but leaves the paper hanging on the wrong side of the roll!! That's the worst!! ?
Oh no, the worst is when he leaves one little square of toilet paper on the roll and not only doesn't change it, but has absconded with my extra rolls of toilet paper to HIS bathroom because he ran out and failed to put it on the shopping list. (Because, of course, I am the only person capable of actually buying toilet paper.)
KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN
1 Article; 2,675 Posts
Can I please add to the list everyone who calls at 3 AM to just let me know that patient whom I ordered bowel regiment just had perfectly normal BM and if I want to do something about it, writes down full nursing note about this tremendously important event and then tries to justify it by stating that "it was just for me being patient advocate"?