Am I overstepping my boundaries? WWYD?

[Velarey]

Hi all! I've been lurking for sometime and I have enjoyed reading a lot of useful information from informative to entertainment on here -I need my giggles and this place is the way to go, oh and FB! Anyway, I'm on here to ask if you think I'm overstepping myself to help someone out. Few years ago an acquatiance and I played soccer togerher for an adult league, we became friends and when I had a really crappy birthday--they (her husband and her) took me out on their own and gave me a big celebration. They've been so generous and supporive and they are fun to hangout with,miss our hangouts. One time I had my dog stay at their house while we all went out. My dog got anxiety and chewed on their bathroom wood. Due to this never received their deposit back which was 1,000. Life happened and we don't hangout as much but support each other via FB and have made future plans to! I've always wanted to make it up them. She's a NICU nurse who had applied to be a FNP and unfortunately was not accepted. They have a baby now and I don't know if she plans to try again. In case she does, would it be fine if as a favor for her and her husbands generosity, I encouraged a friend's friend who is the director of the FNP to look at her resume closely and highly consider her? My friend who's good friends with the director is an NP and they both went to NP school together. My friend who's the Np was even invited by her friend (FNP director) to give lecture about child abuse as my friend is a highly trained child abuse cases. Anyways, I'm suppoE to hangout with S sometime in the summer. If she mentions shes planning on pursing her FNP (without her knowledge) should I ask my NP friend for a favor? We consider each other really good friends, but this is out of the ball park and I've never met her friend who's the director of the FNP program. Just know they are very close. What do you think?

[Emergent, RN]

I love it, the OP tells us her story, people respond to that rambling tale. Then she gets angry at the mean responses, adding new information that I guess we were supposed to know by clairvoyance. We are now jerks, plus the insult that was edited out.

Don't ya love this forum? LOL, so entertaining!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Ok no need to be a jerk. I came here with honesty and giving useful advice would out posting like a jerk would be nice :). I have saved money aside and continue to, to pay them back.I thought it would be a surprise but at this point everyone's advice I'll FB her and tell her. Aside from saving money and paying back which I understand is what shoyls have been done and should be, I thought I could help her out this way too, as it would open up a lot of doors for her --if she's trying again which I won't know until I see her, which has been planned for late summer sometime.

I didn't see anyone being nasty or being a jerk. I did see folks responding directly to your question.

Don't interfere with your friend's career.

Do pay back the money you owe them because of the damage your dog did. If you only have $300 right now, give them the $300 and pay back the rest as you can.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Just pay them back. Don't attempt to "pull strings" or otherwise get involved in your friends school/career choices.

No matter what you believe is something that your friend may want, life may have happened to her as well, and the choices she will make for the future are hers to make.

And the people who are in the administrative position to make those decisions--in my experience, don't really like it when others come to them with string pulling in mind. It doesn't reflect well on you, and just as equal, can make your friend look equally as bad. I am sure that all NP candidates are screened well. No matter how well intended, just stay out of it.

Stay out of her business, and start paying them the money.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Ok no need to be a jerk. I came here with honesty and giving useful advice would out posting like a jerk would be nice :). I have saved money aside and continue to, to pay them back.I thought it would be a surprise but at this point everyone's advice I'll FB her and tell her. Aside from saving money and paying back which I understand is what shoyls have been done and should be, I thought I could help her out this way too, as it would open up a lot of doors for her --if she's trying again which I won't know until I see her, which has been planned for late summer sometime.

No one was being a jerk. There are 3 degrees of separation between your NICU nurse friend and the director of the program. You don't even know the director, she's a friend of a friend. It's not professional to ask for special treatment for entrance into an academic program, even if you personally know the director of the program. I maintain that even asking would come back and bite your friend in the rear. It comes across as desperate, she doesn't think she can be admitted based on her merits alone so has to ask a friend to ask a friend to ask a friend for a favor. No. Don't do it.

[klone, MSN, RN]

Wait, I'm confused. Is the friend-of-a-friend a director of an NP *practice* or an NP educational program? I thought it was a practice, and the "string pulling" was to get the friend a job after graduation from a sometime-in-the-distant-future NP education program?

[Libby1987]

I'm just going to come out and say it, people who are not able to pay back $1000 over a period of a few years won't have a lot of influence in the medical field, including academia. I wouldn't want that connection.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

I understand that as it relates to the damage your dog cost them, they told you to "forget it." But you, being a person of integrity and character, know full well that to leave it at that would be a huge ethical breech.

Buy a $300 gift card at Babys R Us. Give it to them with a nice card saying "I haven't forgotten your generosity in forgiving my part in your losing your $1000 deposit after my dog damaged your rental. Please accept this first installment with my love and congratulations on your beautiful baby."

They aren't going to turn that down. And then DO follow up with another $700 at intervals. Do NOT let "life happen" to the extent that you do not consider this a valid debt deserving of immediate action. It most certainly should weigh on your conscience until it is paid off, and it will be a big load off your shoulders when you have it behind you.

Good luck.

[springchick1, ADN, RN]

If you don't see an issue with doing this, why did you come here asking for advice and the. Get upset when people gave it? This isn't your education. Stay out of it. You could do more harm than good.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Asking a friend of a friend to help another friend isn't likely to make a bit of difference, except to give some rather negative thoughts about you. Please don't do it.

[imintrouble, BSN, RN]

I'm weighing the $1,000 in one hand, and a sketchy recommendation in the other.

I'd rather have the money.

[kakamegamama]

In my response I meant that yes, you would be overstepping if you takes to someone in administration about admitting this nurse to NP school. Must have been brain mushy when I wrote it.

[BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN]

In a word, YES. Yes, you would be WAY out of line to attempt to pull some strings for a former friend. Keep your nose out of her career. No doubt she'd like to earn a FNP spot on her own merits, not by an acquaintance having someone look over the app and see about getting her in