Wise One Liners

If you leave them just a little bit better than you got em it was a good shift.

You don't need to be a brain surgeon, well unless the pt needs brain surgery.

It's Aloha Friday!

Edited May 24 by hawaiicarl

We all have to die of something.

 

If it doesn't work we can amputate it.

 

"If you need it and don't have it, you sing a different tune." Burt Gummer

5 hours ago, Helomech said:

If you look around and everyone is an ***, you’re probably the ***. 

 

3 hours ago, hawaiicarl said:

If you leave them just a little bit better than you got em it was a good shift.

 

I really like that, hawaiicarl!

14 hours ago, kidzcare said:

If everywhere you go, it smells like sh!t... check your shoes. 

 

Really, really like this one. Need to fling it at at toxic co-worker I have 

You buttered your bread, now lie in it.

The world would be a better place if everyone took a chill pill and even better if some choked on it! 

Common sense isn't a flower that grows in everyone's garden.

Of course we didn't to it that way, because that way would have made sense. 

"It is progress not perfection".

"I do not have enough emotional space to take this on".

 

Don't be an idiot.

“When you’re arguing with an idiot, make sure the idiot isn’t doing the same.”

”Keep ‘em alive ‘til 7:35.”  Because the trouble with keeping them alive until 7:05 is that it really sucks when they code before you’re done giving report.

”All bleeding stops eventually,” uttered when watching my formerly intubated and lined patient standing in the doorway, having chewed through the pressure tubing on his arterial line, and spraying blood at anyone who approached him.  It was in the early days of the HIV hysteria, he was HIV+ and his plan was to infect everyone possible.  (We know this because that is what he was screaming at us.)  

With apologies to Samuel Shem, “There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a good, strong arm and a 14 gauge needle.  But some of them ought not to be.  The left ventricle comes to mind.”  

I forgot this one, which was my signature line for years:

”Half the world’s population has a below average IQ.”