Were you a bully in high school?

[Koalified]

I was scrolling on Reddit and one question that came up was, “What are your high school bullies doing now?”. Interestingly many said that their hs bullies are now nurses. Do you think the nursing profession attracts former bullies? How many of you were bullies in high school?

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

I don't remember any bullies and I was pretty quiet and kept to myself. I tried to take the more advanced classes but hated being the only girl in Chemistry, physics and advanced algebra. The neighbor's nephews used to visit and called me 4 eyes and that stung. And my sister that I shared a room with used to tease me about reading too much. Is that bullying? 

[Kitiger, RN]

I was called 4-eyes, but it didn't bother me at all. I started wearing glasses in kindergarten, and was often the only kid in my class, in my early years, who wore glasses. But I could see SO MUCH! ?

Kids look for something different about a person and point it out. I'm not so sure that this is bullying.

[Emergent, RN]

On 9/23/2021 at 7:49 PM, Kitiger said:

Kids look for something different about a person and point it out. I'm not so sure that this is bullying.

I remember when I was in Nursery School, about 4 years old, there was an Asian little girl and I asked the teacher about her eyes. I think the teacher got real nervous, she said there's nothing different about her eyes, which of course I noticed that her eyes were shaped differently so I didn't know what to think. Later in grade school I went to school with lots of Japanese-American kids and became friends with them so it wasn't so unusual, but I was pretty new to the world at 4 years old. I think it's better just to explain things to kids than to pretend that there aren't any differences between people.

[Davey Do]

On 9/22/2021 at 7:21 PM, SmilingBluEyes said:

No one is going to admit being a bully. They never see themselves as the problem.

 Without going into a lot of detail about this rendering, I mean it to convey that sometimes we have to fight fire with fire.

In other words, I have bullied bullies.

It's like Lynyrd Skynyrd sang, "I ain't lookin' for no trouble, but nobody dogs me 'round".

[mmc51264, BSN, MSN, RN]

I was anonymous in HS. Big school.

I was bullied terribly in the K-8 Catholic school I went to.

I am very introverted and possibly on the spectrum. Even now, I am very misunderstood. 

[techitalia, EMT-B]

The term bully wasn't really around until just a few years ago, when placing labels on everything known to man became the thing! In highschool in the late 80s' where I grew up which was a massive HS in Houston, you didn't get but hurt over people poking fun at you, you just dished it back and moved on, it was called interacting with one another! I guess we all were a bunch of bullies! 

[Emergent, RN]

7 minutes ago, handydandy said:

The term bully wasn't really around until just a few years ago, when placing labels on everything known to man became the thing! In highschool in the late 80s' where I grew up which was a massive HS in Houston, you didn't get but hurt over people poking fun at you, you just dished it back and moved on, it was called interacting with one another! I guess we all were a bunch of bullies! 

I think we have identified a bully...?

[Koalified]

3 hours ago, Emergent said:

I think we have identified a bully...?

I was thinking the same thing as I was reading. LOL 

[DavidFR, BSN, MSN, RN]

I was the victim of homophobic bullying at school (1970s, small Catholic school). Years later as an adult I ran into one of my former bullies and was delighted to discover he was unemployed and had amounted to nothing.

I'm not sure bullies are particularly attracted to nursing per se, but there are certainly some bullies in nursing for sure. I was the victim of a workplace bully back in the 90s. I stumbled accross her on line recently and to my horror she's a director of nursing somewhere, but I notice she's gone back to using her maiden name, hence I delight in thinking she's probably divorced. Hope it was a messy one. 

No, I don't forgive easily nor do I buy any of that rubbish about it giving you peace.  

As I've gotten older I've gained confidence in myself and learned to stand up for myself more. I've since stood up to another workplace bully who learned very quickly she'd picked on the wrong one and never tried anything with me again after that. It's years since I've let anyone get away with as much as a sly remark. Bullying should always be called out and bullies stood up to, if necessary with the help of unions and lawyers.

[guest1163268]

I bullied other bullies. 

I've always been a very large person and I can't stand bullies so I definitely used my size to make bullies uncomfortable. I'm also quite literate and droll. So not only could I physically make them cry, I could also hurt with words. I also don't like weak people. So if someone was being bullied and I sorted out the bully, then I fully expected that person to grow a pair and stand up for themselves the next time. And I really hated the gratitude thing. Made me very uncomfortable. 

Never was into cliques either, too selfish. Too much to read or do. Played a lot of different sports and despite that, was considered a nerd. My older sister really bullied me in HS because she knew she actually could kick my butt and my dad would have murdered me if I raised my hand to a female, which is still questionable despite her two children. So maybe, it was displacement re how I felt about bullies. I didn't actually care how popular they were or rich, I was literally only satisfied if they were practically pissing themselves. 

And, I'm pretty much the same character today. Still hate bullies, still a loner really, only interested in my books, my sports, family and business. I get out quite a bit during the week but I'm not sure why, because I can't wait to get home. 

I'm actually reasonably friendly with some of the people I sorted out in HS and it's funny how obsequious they are! At least three of them are cops and two others, firemen. One is a security guard at the public library. So maybe it's true about the authority thing? 

[Charlcie, BSN, RN]

I've heard this as well! Do you think it is bc nursing is such a large profession (aka more people in the profession = more likely that someone can notice their bully is now a nurse?) 

[Jedrnurse, BSN, RN]

On 9/24/2021 at 7:41 PM, Emergent said:

I think we have identified a bully...?

Not necessarily. There is an increase in "snowflakism" now as well, I.e. "people said something critical/rude/cold etc. to me, ergo I've been bullied..."

Similar to the very glib way some people throw the term PTSD around when an unpleasant event occurs.