Was my professor out of line?

lovinglife2015 · Apr 1, 2015

That is actually not true. Just because you put something as your to top priority doesn't mean that it will pay out. That's just too idealistic to be true.

I didn't say "something." I specifically said school and yes, if you put in the effort your grades will usually reflect it.

ChellyFutureNP · Apr 1, 2015

We must remain cognizant that some people are not truly seeking advice (even if they ask), nor are they wanting opinions that differ from their own.
Sometimes people are simply wanting cheerleaders who will tell them only what they want to hear. Viewpoints that deviate from the person's internal narrative are automatically discounted as disrespectful or non-compassionate.

I am sorry but i dont agree with this comment. OP posted on a site that has professional nurses and adults as members. If u want a cheerleader, pls talk to ur friends or husband that will know u better. They would know that u are not seeking advice and they would know that they just need to tell u what u wanna hear. Or post on facebook as users there are really good at cheering other people, even if they dont have a clue regarding the situation. Maybe see a professional mental health specialist also so they could help u formulate what u need to do in cases like this when you are not receptive to others advice. Mental health is also great if you want someone to nurture ur "internal narratives". Being receptive doesnt always mean you are gonna do what was said. After all, people still do what they wanna do despite anyone's advice. BUT i don't really need OP to agree with my advice because someone thought that you are just asking for cheers rather than resolution. Being a nurse is always going to be a balancing act, if you can't do that then i am not sure if u could be a good nurse. Nurses are great multi-taskers.

In the professional world of nursing, you have to be prepared for constructive criticisms. How would u make urself a better nurse professional if all u want are cheers and not be willing to listen to advice or criticisms?

Again, we are all adult professionals here. Real leaders are willing to listen, improve themselves, or accept challenges. Leaders also know which advice to take and what to toss away, but no need to be defensive or tactless.

End of vent. Thanks.

RescueNinjaKy · Apr 1, 2015

I didn't say "something." I specifically said school and yes, if you put in the effort your grades will usually reflect it.

And I repeat, that's just idealistic. There are many factors that can come into play that can influence it. Just because you put school as your top priority it does not mean your grade Will reflect that. People can put school as their top priority and still fail. Such things such as bad test takers, difference in understanding, learning disabilities, dishonest instructors, physical illness or even mental illnesses. My point is that there's a huge variety of factors that can affect your grades, so please stop trying to shame the op for her grades.

Statements such as why the need to declare your family as number 1, I wonder why the op's grade is suffering, and saying that the op's grades are a reflection of her efforts, comes across a scornful and honestly bordering on personal insult. If that was not your intention then I apologize. We do not know the entire situation, so please try to keep it respectful. Opinions and advice are integral in all nurses but disrespect and personal attacks/insults are frankly unnecessary and against the site's terms of services.

PapaBearRN, BSN · Apr 2, 2015

Guess what? My theory average is currently over 90% and I know my CI is happy with my performance....and school is NOT my top priority. You're spinning a false yarn that the only way to be successful is to neglect your family.
PS your posts drip with derision and scorn toward moms who put their kids first. If that's not intentional, you should reevaluate your language choices. If it is intentional, that says a lot more about you than the people you're attacking.

Wait if your theory average is 90% why did you say you met with your instructor because you were struggling in class?

kitkats4breakfs · Apr 2, 2015

. She seemed displeased with my answer and said school will only be 2 years of my life. Anyways, ever since I went against what she thought my priorities should be, she has treated me differently. I don't know if she started treating me differently because she thinks I don't care or the fact that I did not budge on something I feel very strongly about.
Another thing that has been bothering me. I had a discussion with her about how I was having difficulty balancing my family life with nursing and that I felt guilty about not spending as much time with my kids. After I said that she asked if I was Catholic. I said no, why do you ask. She said she asked that because I seem to carry around a lot guilt. I was really shocked by this. I don't understand why she would ask me about my religion in the first place and how does it have anything to do with being Catholic?!

The first rule of nursing school, is to play the game. You should have just said "yes, nursing is #1." Realistically your husband can take care of your kids, and they can eat McDonalds for 2 years and be fine .

The professor has absolute power, she can fail you solely out of dislike . Regardless of how you personally feel, the only time you should say no to a professor or refuse, is when you think something is unsafe or above your skill level.

You need to know that you're nursing professors are human. It may have seemed to the professor that you needed " spiritual guidance" / you needed to repent for your sins, haha. or she was looking for an excuse not to like you. But that is not an appropriate question for a supervisor or Professor to ask you. Actually it may even be illegal.

In my senior year of nursing school, I had a professor ask me "don't you love nursing!?!" I said, "no, but I like dealing with patients". The professor looked at me as if I said, " last night, I skinned my cat at home." Lols. Thank God she was not my main professor.

WookieeRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 2, 2015

Wait if your theory average is 90% why did you say you met with your instructor because you were struggling in class?

She didn't. I think you are confusing Red with the OP.

PapaBearRN, BSN · Apr 2, 2015

She didn't. I think you are confusing Red with the OP.

Oh that's exactly what happened lol whoops. Disregard

Belle2013 · Apr 2, 2015

I went through nursing school with a 3 year old (turned 5 by graduation) and a husband. There were many times my child was sick, had baseball games, school functions, Etc and I had to miss for nursing school or to study. I pulled numerous all nighters at local restaurants, classmates noises, and even school to get through the program. During a brutal 11 week summer semester taking 17 hours of nursing classes I even rented a hotel room with classmates to be closer to school so I could take finals, study, crash out, and repeat for three days straight. I am a HUGE family person but nursing school is one of those things where if you want to make it you must set it at the top. It's only for a short time.

However I must say nursing has flexibility but there will be plenty of times when work comes first and you miss out on family life. 12 hour shifts (especially days) suck with family. I'm switching to night shift so I can quit having to forego my family life for work. I'd rather forego my sleep to spend time with family. Just keep that in mind too. It doesn't stop at nursing school.

Editorial Team / Admin · Apr 2, 2015

Just a gentle reminder, per the Terms of Service, please confine posts/remarks to the subject of the thread.

No name-calling, mud-slinging or personal attacks of any kind.

Please only post something you would say in front of a group of professionals.

Thank you.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 3, 2015

The first rule of nursing school, is to play the game. You should have just said "yes, nursing is #1." Realistically your husband can take care of your kids, and they can eat McDonalds for 2 years and be fine .
The professor has absolute power, she can fail you solely out of dislike . Regardless of how you personally feel, the only time you should say no to a professor or refuse, is when you think something is unsafe or above your skill level.
You need to know that you're nursing professors are human. It may have seemed to the professor that you needed " spiritual guidance" / you needed to repent for your sins, haha. or she was looking for an excuse not to like you. But that is not an appropriate question for a supervisor or Professor to ask you. Actually it may even be illegal.
In my senior year of nursing school, I had a professor ask me "don't you love nursing!?!" I said, "no, but I like dealing with patients". The professor looked at me as if I said, " last night, I skinned my cat at home." Lols. Thank God she was not my main professor.

You are an ADN RN and should not have "BSN" on your userid. You are misrepresenting yourself to anyone who mistakenly believes that you hold a BSN. You do not. On another thread you posted your intention to lie about this on resumes; I happen to find that action despicable, and obviously without any shadow of ethics. Your inability to realize the difference between the two degrees does NOT give you the right to claim one. Perhaps you ought to claim you are a MSN, because, well....you want to.

Claiming credentials you do not have only invalidates EVERYTHING you say about ANYTHING. You have lost all credibility in doing so.

I could not comment on a thread you posted the other day, as it is now closed. But I do take issue with your claiming credentials you DO NOT HAVE.

juellner · Apr 3, 2015

I think it's mixing apples and oranges here and to ask you what is more important is inappropriate. Of course family is more important but it's not a matter of giving up your family for an education. You can have and do both. Sure it takes juggling of schedules but school is temporary and you family is on going. You don't have to choose one over the other. So disregard her comments and focus on your life-both family and school.

lovinglife2015 · Apr 5, 2015

And I repeat, that's just idealistic. There are many factors that can come into play that can influence it. Just because you put school as your top priority it does not mean your grade Will reflect that. People can put school as their top priority and still fail. Such things such as bad test takers, difference in understanding, learning disabilities, dishonest instructors, physical illness or even mental illnesses. My point is that there's a huge variety of factors that can affect your grades, so please stop trying to shame the op for her grades.
Statements such as why the need to declare your family as number 1, I wonder why the op's grade is suffering, and saying that the op's grades are a reflection of her efforts, comes across a scornful and honestly bordering on personal insult. If that was not your intention then I apologize. We do not know the entire situation, so please try to keep it respectful. Opinions and advice are integral in all nurses but disrespect and personal attacks/insults are frankly unnecessary and against the site's terms of services.

I posed valid questions that came to mind, based on what OP divulged. I don't know OP personally, so I have no reason or interest in attacking her. Nothing I said was disrespectful and most of the time I was speaking generally.

Shame? That word is misused and thrown around way too casually these days. OP brought up her grades and frankly seemed more upset over the instructors comments than the grades, so shame clearly isn't an issue in the first place.