To kill or not to kill... another person dream?

Nurses Professionalism

Published

Here is the story:

About three months ago, our family hold a big celebration gathering in our house. One of the invited guests asked to bring with him his daughter who is a senior in the same high school as my daughter. By him, his daughter was sleeping and breathing nursing at all times and wanted to speak with me. Ok? - sure, of course.

Three days before the party, the daughter called me and requested that, since she is a vegan and "abhorred" by anything which can be even remotely related to "disrespect of life", all food must be strictly vegan for everyone. I pretty much signed it off and asked her to bring whatever she would enjoy except for mushrooms, nuts and chocolate, to which I am so allergic that anything of that kind is banned from my house, period. She argued for a while about "organic and GMO-free food cannot cause allergy" and some pseudo-scientific stuff she read somewhere on Internet, but we kind of settled down at the above. I thought she understood what it was all about as I told her everything in very plain and unequivocal terms.

At the day of the party, everything began cool and the girl was chatting with me to no end about her love to nursing, making change, etc., that she volunteered everywhere, got her science grades on top, the stuff. She told me where she wanted to apply - in two local community colleges ADN programs, both of them highly ranked and graduating excellent nurses. Asked for a letter, I said ok, will write you one, huney. Everything went smooth till I asked her to help me to bring dessert. She wanted to cut the cake and serve it individually, I agreed and she brought pieces to the table. The cake I baked myself. I started to eat... next thing I know, I was in ICU hooked to the vent, with two chest tubes, and it was over 3 days later. I went into anaphylaxy right then and there, had a full arrest. The girl, who, of course, never saw what a "code" really was with its inherent violence, was so terrified that she started to cry hysterically and admitted to paramedics that she added powdered mix of nuts and dried mushrooms to my slice of cake in order to prove that "organic" stuff was safe. She and her dad pretty much run away right after.

Spent 2 weeks in hospital, 3 months after still needing oxygen at times, still in pain from multiple ribs fractures, all the shabang plus, of course, large bills to pay and a new job I signed on right before it all happened is getting nearer. The girl or her dad did not call even once.

Quick ahead, a few days ago the high school my daughter and the girl in question both attend, made a show of the best college admission essays class 2020. They do it every year. My daughter spotted the essay written by that girl. She described in great colors how she "by a touch of luck" was exposed to a "real life-saving situation" in the form of CPR in the field, how she "found the name of the injured person" and helped all along (outright lie), how it influenced her wish to save humankind and fueled her dream to became a nurse which she first experienced right after she got out of diapers, and so forth. It was excellently written with large number of details. By these details, I know she meant my code. I have a copy of the essay and, by other details and her previous talk, I know where she applied.

Now, I am torn. On the one hand, she is just a silly idealist teenager, as we all were at some point. Life will teach her stuff, and soon enough, as it taught us all. On the other side, I cannot live with the idea that someone so careless regarding others' lives and so convinced in her personal world being the only one truthful and real should be allowed near sick, dependent and helpless. What if she realizes that the flu vaccine is made from innocent, intelligent chicken embrios and starts to inject patients with saline instead of vaccine so not to compromise her vegan worldview? What if she again feeds or injects another person with a known allergen? I know both program directors of two places she can potentially apply to in person; if I call, her nursing dreams will have to wait at least for a while.

I had my dreams killed by others more than once. I hate to do it with another human being. But the girl already proved herself to be unsafe for others.

Specializes in Ambulatory Care-Family Medicine.

KatieMI, I am so sorry for what you have experienced. As others have said, please get a lawyer and contact any programs she has applied to. She knowingly and intentionally exposed you to something you have a life-threatening allergy to. This was not an accident, this was pre-mediated. At the minimum I would think it is assault, if not attempted murder. She (or her father) should at least pay your medical bills at the minimum in addition to any lost wages.

You will be doing the world a favor by ensuring this person is not able to become a healthcare provider. I am concerned about her mental state as well and am thinking a psych evaluation may be warranted, might be something for you to discuss with your lawyer.

Specializes in Acute.

I am so very sorry for your most undeserved onslaught of troubles. Please know you are in my prayers.

I, by no means, have the expertise many others have. Therefore, please consider this when you read my note.

The nursing profession is incredibly demanding, and getting more so all the time. This young woman does not qualify for the nursing program in several ways. First, she violated the "do no harm" part of our oath. Second, she only owned up to her attack when you were dying. We learn to own up to our errors in order to correct and improve practice, even near-misses. Third, her actions were absolutely merciless and, dare I say, downright malicious. The very least she could be accused of is involuntary manslaughter. Fourth, she is neither safe nor trustworthy--a liability and a deadly accident waiting to happen. Even an untrained layperson would say this was not "best practice." Colleagues and students, alike, should be very wary. I suspect they are. She barely knew you, vomited her resume and education at you, and asked for a reference. I also wonder just how much she depends upon your loyalties to your husband and family versus relationships with her daddy and company. Not fair and manipulative if she is capable of such thought. If not, shame on her father for not coming to your aid or making things right. Again, I don't know this young woman or her family. I am trying to be tactful and not be nasty.

The fact she created an essay from your shared experience and reinvented herself as a hero just screams at me. I just cannot tell you how much this bothers me. The fact your daughter could see it and was not bothered by it makes my skin crawl. This would have been an outstanding opportunity to learn and grow from a tragic experience if she had enough conscience.

Now, all this being said, I feel most badly for you. What a horrible position to be in. I would be a complete liar if I said I was not torn on what to do.

It's too bad the medical personnel did not report this for you--as mandatory reporters, though, they probably didn't know if it qualified. It would take a huge load off your shoulders, as her being investigated would show up on a background check.

The girl did ask for a reference. If you call and write that letter very tactfully, you are neither slandering her or breaking her dreams when, in fact, she asked you to. You would be doing her the kindness she and the profession, both, ask.

Regardless of what you do, you are in my thoughts and prayers. What a terrible thing to go through and deal with. Her insistence on proving herself right has certainly proven to be the fire that keeps burning.

I know you will find the right sution for yourself. You prove you are very smart, compassionate, forgiving, and non-vengeful just by writing your post. Best Hope's for an incredible recovery and bright future!

Specializes in RHIT with a crap load of medical experience..

Attempted murder. She has no regard for others and yet wants everyone to bow to her needs, opinions and ill gotten information. I can see her arguing with a family members over what they should or should not do. She should open up her own quackery clinic. She should not be licensed to do anything.

Specializes in MICU.

Niels Hoegel comes to mind. She sounds like one of those serial killer nurses we hear about every now and again. The kind that purposely brings their patients to the brink of death so they can be the hero when they save them.

Or the arsonist firefighter that sets a fire so they can be the hero that puts it out.

Consider for a moment, if she is as brilliant in the sciences as she claims to be, she’d have known a thing or two about how allergies work. What if the entire plot about the vegan diet and demanding control over the menu was ruse to create a situation that’s dramatic and lets her play the hero card in her mind? That’s more believable to me than a person, 17 or not, inviting themselves into someone’s home, demanding control over the menu, intentionally poisoning the host, and then making themselves out to be the hero in an essay instead of it being a case of a big lapse of judgment, which should have them feeling ashamed, remorseful, and horrified for nearly killing someone.

At best, she’s arrogant, manipulative, a lacks all intelligence and thought necessary for nursing and belongs nowhere near patients. At worst, she’s a textbook psychopath and belongs in jail.

Specializes in Ortho-vascular nurse.

Can you also get in contact with the paramedic that was there that day and get a notorized statement that she had admitted to poisoning you? I think this would be good just for your own protection.

Specializes in ICU, LTACH, Internal Medicine.
On 12/9/2019 at 7:17 PM, Pixie.RN said:

Ok, ladies and gentlemen ?

1) after speaking with two program directors, I was told to sleep tight assured that no local program will welcome this student regardless of circumstances, and the programs they cooperate with, as well as local for-profits and, the main point, background checking companies they all work with will be "informed" and keep an eye on the potential candidate.

2) the medical bills will be paid. So, my Christmas gift will be something else but that belt-worn mini oxygen concentrator. I'll probably buy Chanel waist bag for it instead. Or YSL ?

3). there is no way in the American legal system to name or make it "murder" or attempt on one. There was clearly no intention to kill, no understanding of possible sequela (even if my words "if I touch, smell or taste any of it, I can really just fall down and die within 5 minutes" were actually heard, which I doubt), no expectation of a bloody show "field CPR with crash RSI though advanced upper airway edema, Vfib ACLS protocol". What was there - a bratty, fantastically immature even for her age girl who hardly ever heard the word "no" and is used to get everything she wants her way, any way and no questions asked. Without any proven benefits for her (save for that essay, which clearly came months later) it will be at the best assault/grievous body harm charge. Which, nevertheless, will effectively kill not only dream of nursing but all other dreams of a young person, as being a felony it pretty much closes ways into most of professional occupations. Even of a worker of an animal shelter (if she loves animals soooooo much)...

The nursing dream will have to go. The other dreams will, hopefully, live - after lessons learned hard way. Hopefully. Hopefully, there will be no one more dangerous CENA, nurse or doctor. Maybe, she will grew up into a good vet, for one instance.

This is not the first time I see people who do not know what "allergy" means or "do not believe" in it. One time patient's family demanded me eating a piece of candy at the nursing station when I politely said "no, thanks" in the room because "they just always wanted to know if all this business is really the truth or what". They "figured" that, since I was in hospital and in ICU, nothing bad can happen even if by any chance i was not lying, and felt that, since they are "paying clients", their wish should be granted, they were just curious, after all. I was banned from the room that very second, and, since I was the only one at the shift familiar with the particular condition, I have to "consult" by yelling through the door ? This is middle school pack mental level some people never overgrow.

Thank you very much, everyone, for support and kind words! I will survive it one more time ?

Specializes in 25 years NICU 5 years Telephone Triage.

So sorry this happened! Absolutely unacceptable. A lot of people do NOT take food allergies seriously. I think what she did warrants criminal charges. She did this on purpose! A lot of people, including adults do not understand food allergies or autoimmune diseases related to food. This girl should not be a nurse! She sounds like she has a mental problem to do something like this! I hope you are recovering well!

Specializes in Mental Health.

Oh hell no. If this causes problems for your husband then his company can give you a nice fat check too, he won’t need that job.

Specializes in Community health.

I’m glad you spoke with the admissions directors. I still think she should be arrested for battery (or whatever charges the district attorney settles on), but I am glad you feel that the situation is resolved. Speedy and safe recovery to you!

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

She can just go out-of-state to a nursing school if she wants. Unless it shows up in a criminal background check, a little money can "make it right" for her.

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

Has this child apologized at all to you? Does she know she wont get into nursing school? What did she say? Does your husband and her father still work together?

This entire situation is horrific! I am glad things worked out, wishing you the best!!

Specializes in ER.
50 minutes ago, llg said:

She can just go out-of-state to a nursing school if she wants. Unless it shows up in a criminal background check, a little money can "make it right" for her.

I totally agree! And it sounds like she has a family that will do just that.

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