About three months ago, our family hold a big celebration gathering in our house. One of the invited guests asked to bring with him his daughter who is a senior in the same high school as my daughter. By him, his daughter was sleeping and breathing nursing at all times and wanted to speak with me. Ok? - sure, of course.
Three days before the party, the daughter called me and requested that, since she is a vegan and "abhorred" by anything which can be even remotely related to "disrespect of life", all food must be strictly vegan for everyone. I pretty much signed it off and asked her to bring whatever she would enjoy except for mushrooms, nuts and chocolate, to which I am so allergic that anything of that kind is banned from my house, period. She argued for a while about "organic and GMO-free food cannot cause allergy" and some pseudo-scientific stuff she read somewhere on Internet, but we kind of settled down at the above. I thought she understood what it was all about as I told her everything in very plain and unequivocal terms.
At the day of the party, everything began cool and the girl was chatting with me to no end about her love to nursing, making change, etc., that she volunteered everywhere, got her science grades on top, the stuff. She told me where she wanted to apply - in two local community colleges ADN programs, both of them highly ranked and graduating excellent nurses. Asked for a letter, I said ok, will write you one, huney. Everything went smooth till I asked her to help me to bring dessert. She wanted to cut the cake and serve it individually, I agreed and she brought pieces to the table. The cake I baked myself. I started to eat... next thing I know, I was in ICU hooked to the vent, with two chest tubes, and it was over 3 days later. I went into anaphylaxy right then and there, had a full arrest. The girl, who, of course, never saw what a "code" really was with its inherent violence, was so terrified that she started to cry hysterically and admitted to paramedics that she added powdered mix of nuts and dried mushrooms to my slice of cake in order to prove that "organic" stuff was safe. She and her dad pretty much run away right after.
Spent 2 weeks in hospital, 3 months after still needing oxygen at times, still in pain from multiple ribs fractures, all the shabang plus, of course, large bills to pay and a new job I signed on right before it all happened is getting nearer. The girl or her dad did not call even once.
Quick ahead, a few days ago the high school my daughter and the girl in question both attend, made a show of the best college admission essays class 2020. They do it every year. My daughter spotted the essay written by that girl. She described in great colors how she "by a touch of luck" was exposed to a "real life-saving situation" in the form of CPR in the field, how she "found the name of the injured person" and helped all along (outright lie), how it influenced her wish to save humankind and fueled her dream to became a nurse which she first experienced right after she got out of diapers, and so forth. It was excellently written with large number of details. By these details, I know she meant my code. I have a copy of the essay and, by other details and her previous talk, I know where she applied.
Now, I am torn. On the one hand, she is just a silly idealist teenager, as we all were at some point. Life will teach her stuff, and soon enough, as it taught us all. On the other side, I cannot live with the idea that someone so careless regarding others' lives and so convinced in her personal world being the only one truthful and real should be allowed near sick, dependent and helpless. What if she realizes that the flu vaccine is made from innocent, intelligent chicken embrios and starts to inject patients with saline instead of vaccine so not to compromise her vegan worldview? What if she again feeds or injects another person with a known allergen? I know both program directors of two places she can potentially apply to in person; if I call, her nursing dreams will have to wait at least for a while.
I had my dreams killed by others more than once. I hate to do it with another human being. But the girl already proved herself to be unsafe for others.
1) after speaking with two program directors, I was told to sleep tight assured that no local program will welcome this student regardless of circumstances, and the programs they cooperate with, as well as local for-profits and, the main point, background checking companies they all work with will be "informed" and keep an eye on the potential candidate.
2) the medical bills will be paid. So, my Christmas gift will be something else but that belt-worn mini oxygen concentrator. I'll probably buy Chanel waist bag for it instead. Or YSL ?
3). there is no way in the American legal system to name or make it "murder" or attempt on one. There was clearly no intention to kill, no understanding of possible sequela (even if my words "if I touch, smell or taste any of it, I can really just fall down and die within 5 minutes" were actually heard, which I doubt), no expectation of a bloody show "field CPR with crash RSI though advanced upper airway edema, Vfib ACLS protocol". What was there - a bratty, fantastically immature even for her age girl who hardly ever heard the word "no" and is used to get everything she wants her way, any way and no questions asked. Without any proven benefits for her (save for that essay, which clearly came months later) it will be at the best assault/grievous body harm charge. Which, nevertheless, will effectively kill not only dream of nursing but all other dreams of a young person, as being a felony it pretty much closes ways into most of professional occupations. Even of a worker of an animal shelter (if she loves animals soooooo much)...
The nursing dream will have to go. The other dreams will, hopefully, live - after lessons learned hard way. Hopefully. Hopefully, there will be no one more dangerous CENA, nurse or doctor. Maybe, she will grew up into a good vet, for one instance.
This is not the first time I see people who do not know what "allergy" means or "do not believe" in it. One time patient's family demanded me eating a piece of candy at the nursing station when I politely said "no, thanks" in the room because "they just always wanted to know if all this business is really the truth or what". They "figured" that, since I was in hospital and in ICU, nothing bad can happen even if by any chance i was not lying, and felt that, since they are "paying clients", their wish should be granted, they were just curious, after all. I was banned from the room that very second, and, since I was the only one at the shift familiar with the particular condition, I have to "consult" by yelling through the door ? This is middle school pack mental level some people never overgrow.
Thank you very much, everyone, for support and kind words! I will survive it one more time ?
Why would you let someone force you to eat candy you did not want? You need to learn to stand up for yourself, my friend.
And if no one else knew anything about the pt's condition, they could have looked it up in a few moments.
Why would you let someone force you to eat candy you did not want? You need to learn to stand up for yourself, my friend.
And if no one else knew anything about the pt's condition, they could have looked it up in a few moments.
1) because they were nincopoops in a hospital which was run by other nincompoops like high-level boutique B&B with some medical services thrown in for a good measure.
I can stand for myself. But the tragic thing about severe allergy is that doesn't matter how conscious and careful you are, you still depend on professionalism and common sense of others if you want ever leave "safe zone" of your house.
2). You can look up a condition on Google in a second. You will spent at least a good year if you want to learn how to predict and manage hemodynamic changes in certain situations.
Oh @KatieMI!! I just had to post and wish you well. I’ve followed your posts for years and remember you mentioning your allergies in a thread where we were discussing restaurant food and epi pens.
I am so, so sorry this happened to you! I am glad you are on the mend, and dammm straight you deserve a Chanel belt bag for your O2! I hope that as of this writing you are doing physically better. I am stunned beyond belief that anyone of any age would do this — especially with the emphasis on nut allergies in school nowadays — I am absolutely floored. Wishing you and your family a peaceful December filled with health and love.
Update: after much talking, we're meeting with the family in question. I will break the news about my request to ban admission in all local nursing programs and also my request to the Boards regarding not granting permission to practice due to poor moral standing (it happens that one can really place such request. It can or cannot be granted, but my letter was excellently written by legal professional, I am an RN already and there was medical affidavit attached testifying about the history being real. Hope Boards people will listen).
So, she can still become a babysitter, a daycare worker, a veterinarian, a chef, a baker, a dentist, a nurse in another country, etc.
In all seriousness (but please be free to laugh), have you seen the classic Lifetime movies (when they were based on real stories, not the over-dramatized garbage that they show nowadays)? Remember scenes where the antagonist(s) would act all sweet, teary-eyed, and appear remorseful to the MC's face and then be plotting the MC's funeral in the next?
The point is, she can fake to your face. [Although, it would not hurt to have a family member/friend who is with law enforcement nearby (in civilian clothes, of course) if you still plan to see her in person and tell her that you reported her to the Boards.]
Again, she already showed how remorseful she was - she wrote that essay.
Every sentence, every word, every letter, and every punctuation takes deliberate effort to put to paper (or a computer screen). Compared to speaking, writing allows for more time for the writer to think about what was written before submitting them for others' viewership.
Really think about it before you decide to let her off with so many doors still open to her. Though, I would not blame you if you are thinking about your family's safety.
Though, remember this possibility if you ultimately decide to be merciful:
*Knock, knock, knock"
Hello, I am with "X" news. Do you happen to remember [the girl] who poisoned you "y" years ago? She was just arrested for [child, pet, or people]'s death. Care to comment?
So, she can still become a babysitter, a daycare worker, a veterinarian, a chef, a baker, a dentist, a nurse in another country, etc.
In all seriousness (but please be free to laugh), have you seen the classic Lifetime movies (when they were based on real stories, not the over-dramatized garbage that they show nowadays)? Remember scenes where the antagonist(s) would act all sweet, teary-eyed, and appear remorseful to the MC's face and then be plotting the MC's funeral in the next?
The point is, she can fake to your face. [Although, it would not hurt to have a family member/friend who is with law enforcement nearby (in civilian clothes, of course) if you still plan to see her in person and tell her that you reported her to the Boards.]
Again, she already showed how remorseful she was - she wrote that essay.
Every sentence, every word, every letter, and every punctuation takes deliberate effort to put to paper (or a computer screen). Compared to speaking, writing allows for more time for the writer to think about what was written before submitting them for others' viewership.
Really think about it before you decide to let her off with so many doors still open to her. Though, I would not blame you if you are thinking about your family's safety.
Though, remember this possibility if you ultimately decide to be merciful:
*Knock, knock, knock"
Hello, I am with "X" news. Do you happen to remember [the girl] who poisoned you "y" years ago? She was just arrested for [child, pet, or people]'s death. Care to comment?
The ideal decision for your scenario would be to kill this young woman. As well as, preliminary, half of the humankind, just in case, and every medical worker first and foremost because each of us can kill, deliberately or not, any moment we're following our professional duty.
The ideal decision for your scenario would be to kill this young woman. As well as, preliminary, half of the humankind, just in case, and every medical worker first and foremost because each of us can kill, deliberately or not, any moment we're following our professional duty.
No.
Ideally, she should be put on watch, and not just locally.
So far, without a record, she *may* be on watch with the local nursing programs and your BON. Granted, records can just be sealed, especially if she is still a minor, but at least you would have done your part to warn the public and no one can come back and blame you for whatever she may do in the future.
If she had not wrote that essay, and least offered something to make it up to you somehow (i.e. doing housecleaning, yard work, etc.), I would agree with giving her some mercy, but, she wrote that essay.
Let me tell you a story of something that happened recently to my youngest brother:
It was nighttime. He was on a greyhound bus.
He was putting away his bag when he overheard a man telling someone (i.e. likely his girlfriend) over the phone that he was going to shoot everyone on the bus. My brother did not let that slide.
My brother confronted the man and made the man pull out his pockets (which had a pocket knife) and empty his backpack. Then, my brother proceeded to kick the man off the bus and had the bus driver called the police.
When the police showed up, they searched the man and found no gun or ammo. A police officer confronted my brother and admonished him for forcing the man the off the bus and asked my brother why did he not wait for police. My brother countered by saying he did not want die and he did not want to wait and see if that man was really telling the truth before doing something. Military men who happened to be passengers on the bus came to my brother's defense, as did other passengers who also heard the man threatening to shoot everyone on the bus.
Long story short, the bus left without the man, with the man shouting "No~" as the bus continues on its journey.
_____
Now, how does my brother's story tie in with the case of this girl -
After your near death episode, this girl went on to write an essay depicting herself as one of your heroes and expressing intent to purse a nursing career.
Should one really wait and see to take action that will really block this girl, THIS GIRL, from having career that put others' lives in her hand?
Even with a record, the girl can still have life, just not her ideal life, and that would not be your problem. Just like it was not my brother's problem when the man was left behind, shouting "No~" in the dark.
OMG, have read through this and am shocked at the disregard for human life/safety that this girl exhibited. I do wonder something, though, you said that legally at most it is assault/grievous bodily harm. What about willful disregard for human life? If she had succeeded in accidentally killing you she'd no doubt be charged with manslaughter. I'm no lawyer but I would think there would be more options legally that would separate her from freedom to act as a public menace again. Or at least I'd hope ?
So sorry to hear all that you went through, reading this was like a bad cable Movie of the Month. She is dangerous, not a "silly teenager". Silly teenagers argue about it but don't put things in people's food. And that part about her self-agrandizing her role in your "rescue" when she was the reason for the injury is pathological.
The girl did ask for a reference. If you call and write that letter very tactfully, you are neither slandering her or breaking her dreams when, in fact, she asked you to. You would be doing her the kindness she and the profession, both, ask.
Wondering what that might look like:
"Dear Admissions Committee,
I have met the applicant and she appears to be a very self-confident and knowledgeable young woman; she is even a self-taught expert regarding allergens and immunology. Her extensive research using online vegan-promoting blogs included using me as an (uninformed) test subject. She uses "outside the box" thinking when it comes to promoting her personal choices. While her methodology unfortunately required me to be an ICU inpatient for weeks, she did recognize how much a part she played in the circumstances that led me there. Why, she even wrote a very self-promoting essay that clearly shows her superiority in the face of adversity (my near death--caused by unwillingly being said test subject-- was the situation).
In conclusion, I can fully recommend that Ms. X be placed in any situation where unorthodox and even risky behaviors are appreciated. She would be a pioneer in the field of nursing, going where NO ONE has ever gone before!"
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
Why would you let someone force you to eat candy you did not want? You need to learn to stand up for yourself, my friend.
And if no one else knew anything about the pt's condition, they could have looked it up in a few moments.