About three months ago, our family hold a big celebration gathering in our house. One of the invited guests asked to bring with him his daughter who is a senior in the same high school as my daughter. By him, his daughter was sleeping and breathing nursing at all times and wanted to speak with me. Ok? - sure, of course.
Three days before the party, the daughter called me and requested that, since she is a vegan and "abhorred" by anything which can be even remotely related to "disrespect of life", all food must be strictly vegan for everyone. I pretty much signed it off and asked her to bring whatever she would enjoy except for mushrooms, nuts and chocolate, to which I am so allergic that anything of that kind is banned from my house, period. She argued for a while about "organic and GMO-free food cannot cause allergy" and some pseudo-scientific stuff she read somewhere on Internet, but we kind of settled down at the above. I thought she understood what it was all about as I told her everything in very plain and unequivocal terms.
At the day of the party, everything began cool and the girl was chatting with me to no end about her love to nursing, making change, etc., that she volunteered everywhere, got her science grades on top, the stuff. She told me where she wanted to apply - in two local community colleges ADN programs, both of them highly ranked and graduating excellent nurses. Asked for a letter, I said ok, will write you one, huney. Everything went smooth till I asked her to help me to bring dessert. She wanted to cut the cake and serve it individually, I agreed and she brought pieces to the table. The cake I baked myself. I started to eat... next thing I know, I was in ICU hooked to the vent, with two chest tubes, and it was over 3 days later. I went into anaphylaxy right then and there, had a full arrest. The girl, who, of course, never saw what a "code" really was with its inherent violence, was so terrified that she started to cry hysterically and admitted to paramedics that she added powdered mix of nuts and dried mushrooms to my slice of cake in order to prove that "organic" stuff was safe. She and her dad pretty much run away right after.
Spent 2 weeks in hospital, 3 months after still needing oxygen at times, still in pain from multiple ribs fractures, all the shabang plus, of course, large bills to pay and a new job I signed on right before it all happened is getting nearer. The girl or her dad did not call even once.
Quick ahead, a few days ago the high school my daughter and the girl in question both attend, made a show of the best college admission essays class 2020. They do it every year. My daughter spotted the essay written by that girl. She described in great colors how she "by a touch of luck" was exposed to a "real life-saving situation" in the form of CPR in the field, how she "found the name of the injured person" and helped all along (outright lie), how it influenced her wish to save humankind and fueled her dream to became a nurse which she first experienced right after she got out of diapers, and so forth. It was excellently written with large number of details. By these details, I know she meant my code. I have a copy of the essay and, by other details and her previous talk, I know where she applied.
Now, I am torn. On the one hand, she is just a silly idealist teenager, as we all were at some point. Life will teach her stuff, and soon enough, as it taught us all. On the other side, I cannot live with the idea that someone so careless regarding others' lives and so convinced in her personal world being the only one truthful and real should be allowed near sick, dependent and helpless. What if she realizes that the flu vaccine is made from innocent, intelligent chicken embrios and starts to inject patients with saline instead of vaccine so not to compromise her vegan worldview? What if she again feeds or injects another person with a known allergen? I know both program directors of two places she can potentially apply to in person; if I call, her nursing dreams will have to wait at least for a while.
I had my dreams killed by others more than once. I hate to do it with another human being. But the girl already proved herself to be unsafe for others.
I think you have an obligation to pursue legal action. Even a misdemeanor would appear on her background. There's no way someone o entitled and with such poor reasoning should ever become a nurse, teacher, daycare worker, police officer, emt, firefighter, air traffic control, pilot, lawyer or any profession that is responsible for the welfare of another human life.
KatieMI, you mentioned in an earlier post that you and your DH were meeting with the teen and her father. What was the result of that meeting?
Hope you are continuing to do better.
Update:
The process, after several meetings which showed total lack of compassion and understanding of the family in question ("but she just wanted to prove something and make her voice heard!") will end up as pressing charges, and then immediately settled out of Court for the full price of past and continuing medical and jurisdictional expenses. Bills are already summing in low 4 zeroes and gonna to come for some time more, although things are doing better. It is not possible to apply more serious article as the offender was a minor at that time and it is almost impossible to prove to Court that someone aged below 18 had "clear understanding" that his or her attempt to "prove something" to someone could have severe and unexpected consequences unless it was an openly planned cold-blooded murder, especially for the first offence. What miracle happens when the person crosses his or her 18th birthday, I do not know.
The most important thing, though, will be the fact that this level of charges is difficult to get "sealed" and, before it can even happen (which will take quite a few years), is reportable to any agency requesting the information and will also appear in any background check. That includes, for example, professional licensing organizations such as Boards of Nursing. Once there, the Board can decide what to do with the information - for example, place a person in the same list where go identifiers of physicians and other health care workers who had trouble with law and licensing and therefore will face sharply enhanced scrutiny should they want to switch career to nursing. This is what will happen in our case. Also, the girl will have, for her entire life, mark that little square asking "have you ever...." in every application for every professional license, related to healthcare or not, as "yes", with all the resulted sequela. Maybe it won't present a problem for a florist' license, but for any medical, nursing, law-related, etc - it will.
What I wanted to say - so many nurses have almost internal fear of State Boards of nursing. But, if a nurse did not do anything wrong and needs support as a representative of a legally protected profession, Boards is one door to knock into. People there are not necesserily our enemies. They are here to protect public, for sure, but they also here to protect nurses. Things go slow there, everyone is busy and overworked (as most of us anywhere), but once they realized what happened, they did what we all do as nurses so frequently - walked a mile and then some more.
Thank you, KatieMI, for updating us. Many of us were concerned about your situation -- for so many reasons. I am happy to read that the girl and her family are experiencing some consequences for her actions. Maybe they don't appreciate the "wrongness" of her actions, yet ... but maybe someday, they will. Thank you for pursuing this so that the public can be protected.
As for you, I hope you continue to heal and get stronger with each passing day. May you have a great 2020!
I am glad to see there has been some resolutuion. I realize that since she was a minor (although 17 is really close to 18) her level of culpability is different, nonetheless, I am glad she will have some ramifications of her actions. I wonder if in 10 years from now if she will finally realize her actions.
Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.
On 12/11/2019 at 10:56 AM, Etak said:
Niels Hoegel comes to mind. She sounds like one of those serial killer nurses we hear about every now and again. The kind that purposely brings their patients to the brink of death so they can be the hero when they save them.
Or the arsonist firefighter that sets a fire so they can be the hero that puts it out.
I had a coworker years ago who "found" a fire in one of the women's restrooms, and she "saved" her coworkers by reporting it. Investigation eventually revealed that she had set the fire herself, then reported it to make herself out to be a hero. She was charged with arson. I never found out what happened to the charges because, as you might suspect, she was fired as soon as the results of the investigation came back.
This was a large, older building that contained a lot of flammable material. It was also the administration building for a major state agency. Had her stunt gone wrong, she could easily have killed a bunch of us. I worked on the second floor, and the fire was set in the ceiling of a first floor rest room.
I had a coworker years ago who "found" a fire in one of the women's restrooms, and she "saved" her coworkers by reporting it. Investigation eventually revealed that she had set the fire herself, then reported it to make herself out to be a hero. She was charged with arson. I never found out what happened to the charges because, as you might suspect, she was fired as soon as the results of the investigation came back.
This was a large, older building that contained a lot of flammable material. It was also the administration building for a major state agency. Had her stunt gone wrong, she could easily have killed a bunch of us. I worked on the second floor, and the fire was set in the ceiling of a first floor rest room.
I once saw a case of what everyone thought was Munchauzen by proxy and turned out to be classic textbook bipolar "quick rotator". Mom's thing when mania was overwhelming her was shopping, so she collected donations for her "incurably sick" boy to use money when she went into mania phase. In addition, being lauded as a "hero mom" was, by her, supportive when she had depressive period.
Poor kiddo. He was sitting on Peds floor till other relatives came to take him, and once said it was the best time in his entire life because everybody wanted to do something good or fun for him after years spent in hospitals "finding a cure".
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I haven't read yet through all the posts but I find this story really horrifying. Yes, please notify the school and please look into a civil lawsuit to recoup some of your hospital bills, if nothing else. Criminal charges would still be ideal.
No, please don't let this pass. The nursing profession doesn't need the next Radonda.
Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
On 12/9/2019 at 6:12 PM, KatieMI said:
You talked me into some common sense, guys ?
I will made some calls tomorrow. The dream has to wait, and probably for quite some time, if not for ever.
Gosh, when I tell patients and families what "saving the life by any means available" really means, I do it from personal experience. Even when the end-outcome, that is to say, is good, the road to it is a very rocky one.
I am so glad you are okay, or at least in the process of become okay! How absolutely terrifying and awful of that girl. Perhaps a discussion with her and her parents is called for. And, I think talking to your contacts at the schools is a definite need. She needs to be reigned in before she allows her personal beliefs to cause harm to another person. And, the audacity of her essay...sheesh!
I am so glad you are okay, or at least in the process of become okay! How absolutely terrifying and awful of that girl. Perhaps a discussion with her and her parents is called for. And, I think talking to your contacts at the schools is a definite need. She needs to be reigned in before she allows her personal beliefs to cause harm to another person. And, the audacity of her essay...sheesh!
There was more than one discussion. We and our legal team tried the best and more to make them admit what was done and understand that she is, at least of now, just not mentally fit to be trusted with human lives, that she is a danger for others and herself. To no avail, everything we heard was:
- she just did not believe in all that till she saw it with her own eyes;
- she just wanted to make her voice heard because she felt her view was ignored;
- she just wanted others to get her point;
- she just wanted to proof her views to others;
- she just wanted to show her views as very important for her;
- and so forth in all possible combinations. All that while sitting across the table from someone wincing in pain with every movement and taking a break to breathe on the way from elevator to parking as a direct result of her "proofing some very personally important views" (that is getting better. I am off that ****ed pain pills and almost off oxygen and back to yoga and running - slow and carefully. But I got the bag!)
After we heard "so what you are concerned about now - we're gonna pay the bills, now let her go her way" I just broke up. After they left, we asked yo fill up criminal charges paperwork.
Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.
6 hours ago, KatieMI said:
There was more than one discussion. We and our legal team tried the best and more to make them admit what was done and understand that she is, at least of now, just not mentally fit to be trusted with human lives, that she is a danger for others and herself. To no avail, everything we heard was:
- she just did not believe in all that till she saw it with her own eyes;
- she just wanted to make her voice heard because she felt her view was ignored;
- she just wanted others to get her point;
- she just wanted to proof her views to others;
- she just wanted to show her views as very important for her;
- and so forth in all possible combinations. All that while sitting across the table from someone wincing in pain with every movement and taking a break to breathe on the way from elevator to parking as a direct result of her "proofing some very personally important views" (that is getting better. I am off that ****ed pain pills and almost off oxygen and back to yoga and running - slow and carefully. But I got the bag!)
After we heard "so what you are concerned about now - we're gonna pay the bills, now let her go her way" I just broke up. After they left, we asked yo fill up criminal charges paperwork.
Yowzers! I'm glad you got that bag and are doing much better! Good luck with the criminal case. It sounds like it will take that to wake both the girl and her parents up.
I kinda actually feel sorry for the girl because obviously her parents are blind to her need to be disciplined, and that sets her up for a very harsh future.
beckysue920
134 Posts
KatieMI, you mentioned in an earlier post that you and your DH were meeting with the teen and her father. What was the result of that meeting?
Hope you are continuing to do better.