To kill or not to kill... another person dream?

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

Here is the story:

About three months ago, our family hold a big celebration gathering in our house. One of the invited guests asked to bring with him his daughter who is a senior in the same high school as my daughter. By him, his daughter was sleeping and breathing nursing at all times and wanted to speak with me. Ok? - sure, of course.

Three days before the party, the daughter called me and requested that, since she is a vegan and "abhorred" by anything which can be even remotely related to "disrespect of life", all food must be strictly vegan for everyone. I pretty much signed it off and asked her to bring whatever she would enjoy except for mushrooms, nuts and chocolate, to which I am so allergic that anything of that kind is banned from my house, period. She argued for a while about "organic and GMO-free food cannot cause allergy" and some pseudo-scientific stuff she read somewhere on Internet, but we kind of settled down at the above. I thought she understood what it was all about as I told her everything in very plain and unequivocal terms.

At the day of the party, everything began cool and the girl was chatting with me to no end about her love to nursing, making change, etc., that she volunteered everywhere, got her science grades on top, the stuff. She told me where she wanted to apply - in two local community colleges ADN programs, both of them highly ranked and graduating excellent nurses. Asked for a letter, I said ok, will write you one, huney. Everything went smooth till I asked her to help me to bring dessert. She wanted to cut the cake and serve it individually, I agreed and she brought pieces to the table. The cake I baked myself. I started to eat... next thing I know, I was in ICU hooked to the vent, with two chest tubes, and it was over 3 days later. I went into anaphylaxy right then and there, had a full arrest. The girl, who, of course, never saw what a "code" really was with its inherent violence, was so terrified that she started to cry hysterically and admitted to paramedics that she added powdered mix of nuts and dried mushrooms to my slice of cake in order to prove that "organic" stuff was safe. She and her dad pretty much run away right after.

Spent 2 weeks in hospital, 3 months after still needing oxygen at times, still in pain from multiple ribs fractures, all the shabang plus, of course, large bills to pay and a new job I signed on right before it all happened is getting nearer. The girl or her dad did not call even once.

Quick ahead, a few days ago the high school my daughter and the girl in question both attend, made a show of the best college admission essays class 2020. They do it every year. My daughter spotted the essay written by that girl. She described in great colors how she "by a touch of luck" was exposed to a "real life-saving situation" in the form of CPR in the field, how she "found the name of the injured person" and helped all along (outright lie), how it influenced her wish to save humankind and fueled her dream to became a nurse which she first experienced right after she got out of diapers, and so forth. It was excellently written with large number of details. By these details, I know she meant my code. I have a copy of the essay and, by other details and her previous talk, I know where she applied.

Now, I am torn. On the one hand, she is just a silly idealist teenager, as we all were at some point. Life will teach her stuff, and soon enough, as it taught us all. On the other side, I cannot live with the idea that someone so careless regarding others' lives and so convinced in her personal world being the only one truthful and real should be allowed near sick, dependent and helpless. What if she realizes that the flu vaccine is made from innocent, intelligent chicken embrios and starts to inject patients with saline instead of vaccine so not to compromise her vegan worldview? What if she again feeds or injects another person with a known allergen? I know both program directors of two places she can potentially apply to in person; if I call, her nursing dreams will have to wait at least for a while.

I had my dreams killed by others more than once. I hate to do it with another human being. But the girl already proved herself to be unsafe for others.

[egg122 NP, MSN, APRN]

...Wow... Have you considered pressing charges?

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

No. Intraorganizational politics within a Forbs top 50/World company both her dad and my husband are working for.

[JKL33]

25 minutes ago, KatieMI said:

On the one hand, she is just a silly idealist teenager, as we all were at some point.

No, she most certainly is not.

That would be a fair statement if all she had done was argue rudely with you, the hostess, and tried to mandate her own personal preferences upon your party. But that is not all she did.

Her insolence is pathological.

[caliotter3]

I am sorry, but in reading your post, it didn't take my mind long to go to the thought that this person has no business going anywhere near any vulnerable person, ever. She is too far along in the process to claim ignorance of what she did. No way Jose. You will be doing the nursing profession a favor if you provide the appropriate truth to the director of any nursing program you are aware that she applies to. Not for revenge for yourself, no, in order to possibly prevent any harm to any future patient that has the misfortune to come under her "care". I just had to say this. Please take it as serious advice. And best wishes for a complete recovery.

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

Holy moley. I am so glad you are okay. I understand politics, but that was way over the line. What if you had gotten up in the middle of the night feeling snacky and had some cake that you had declined earlier? Wow.

[Wuzzie]

She is a psychopath.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I would have pressed charges from the beginning. If you company tries to hurt you because you press charges ... you would almost certainly have a case against.

Talk to a lawyer about the relevant labor law ... then press charges unless the lawyer advises you not to.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

You talked me into some common sense, guys ?

I will made some calls tomorrow. The dream has to wait, and probably for quite some time, if not for ever.

Gosh, when I tell patients and families what "saving the life by any means available" really means, I do it from personal experience. Even when the end-outcome, that is to say, is good, the road to it is a very rocky one.

[Lunah, MSN, RN]

Did they at least have the good graces to pay your hospital bills? I suspect not.

[KatieMI, BSN, MSN, RN]

10 minutes ago, Pixie.RN said:

Did they at least have the good graces to pay your hospital bills? I suspect not.

Nope, of course. The father asked my husband about it, heard the estimation for several thousands AFTER insurance coverage and disappeared into thin air.

[Sue Damonas, BSN]

OMG! So sorry to hear all you have been through! Please let us know how this all turns out. She is a whack job and has no business being in the medical field!