Tired of being FAT and having low self esteem

[NurseLoveJoy88]

I am addicted to food and don't exercise at all. When I get home from work all I do is sit on the couch , watch tv, and eat. I order out almost every day and constantly eat junk food. I can no longer fit some of my colthes and I don't like going out as much as I like to due to my weight. My husband loves me and still find me to be sexy but wants me to lose some weight.

I know what obesity can do to my health and I know what I need to do to lose weight but I just don't do it. I'm not going to list any excuses because there are none. I just love to eat bad food and haven't tried to make any changes. I uses to go to the gym a lot while in nursing school now I don't go at all. Im fed up with being fat and crying . I need to change but I just don't have the will.

Right now I have failed myself, I even have chinese food on the way as I'm typing this. Tomorrow is another day and I pray that it will be the day that I get enough strength to make some changes. Tomorrow we are going to a party where I will be tempted with food. I'm going to try my best to set my limits and make healthy choices. thanks for letting me vent. Take care everyone.

[blueyesue]

Wouldn't that be great if junk food was good for us! Most of us would probably be much healthier.

Thanks for sharing your frustrations. You speak for many people.

Here is a way to break this habit. It is the same way I quit smoking: (haven't picked up a cigarette in over 8 years)

Buy your favorite junk food and put it in front of you. When you are tempted to eat it, just don't eat it. That sounds silly and kind of lame, but think about it. In life we regularly come across junk food items we crave. If you just don't eat it, you don't eat it. Next time you come across some junk food you want to eat, tell yourself: "just don't eat it." and then don't eat it.

The way to break our habits is to force ourself not to do it. The way to establish habits is to just do it. No matter how badly we don't want to.

[LABSN2010]

We all know what to do to lose weight but doing what we know is the problem! I've been trying to get to my ideal wight of 165 for years now. I'm only twenty pounds away but I can't seem to do it. I even tried P90X for 30 days and guess what? I didn't lose one pound!!!! Not one! I worked out like a mad man but didn't follow the diet but I did eat health but I guess that wasn't good enough. So I concluded that to lose weight we must totally have "portion control" and keep a record of what we eat. But I still haven't followed through on this idea. So if you resolve to do this I will do it with you. Let me know when we start. lol.

[BSN75]

I felt just like you about 2 years ago. All I ever ate was fast food. Was up to 225 pounds and couldn't breathe just walking up the stairs. It's a miserable feeling. The first thing I did was go through my bank statement and look at how much money I was spending every month- the amount was astronomical! I decided that I would no longer eat out, then I would instead spend that money on new clothes once I felt better. I increased my water intake, changed from drinking regular soda to only diet, and really increased my fiber intake. Changed all my white breads and pastas to whole grain. And once I lost a little, started walking on the treadmill. It took awhile to lose the weight, but today I'm down to 165. You can do it... I believe in you!!!

[montinurse, BSN]

Good suggestions here. Go back to the gym! I hate hate hate diets, and find that exercising motivates me to watch what I eat. I hate working so hard just to ruin it with a cheeseburger and fries. Good luck to you. I've really slacked this month with the holidays, can't wait to get back to my gym routine.

[Scrubby]

When I was about 20 I was quite overweight.. I previously was quite thin and it was a year of drinking too much, eating fatty foods and no exercise that did it, I put on 20 kg within a year. I will never forget the day my elder sister turned to me and told me that I was getting fat that I realised that I could either continue on or do something about it. You have taken the first step by acknowledging there is a problem. The hardest thing is to find the motivation to change your lifestyle to help you lose the weight and get healthy.

I found these recipe books to be very helpful, they are easy to make meals, low fat and low GI:

http://www.symplytoogood.com.au/_product_39360/Symply_Too_Good_Books_1,2,3,4,5_and_Measuring_Spoons

Maybe start going for a walk after dinner every night, start by going around the block, then after a week walk further. I find walking to be very helpful after work because it helps me unwind and de-stress.

I wish you the best of luck :heartbeat

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

I am right there with you. I have recently started taking a salad to work with a piece of fruit as a snack. Just by doing that I feel better though my work day. Now if I could only get the energy us to go to the gym after work. Oh well a goal for next week. Take it one day at a time that is what I am doing.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I have had issues with food for as long as I can remember. In times of stress, boredom, turmoil, sadness, or uncertainty, food has typically been the only enjoyable crutch in my life. My past weights have reflected my love-hate relationship with food, because I have constantly bounced from normal body weights to obesity to overweight, then back to normal BMI and so forth.

I lost 7 pounds during the month of December by doing cardiovascular exercise 4 to 5 times weekly and cutting back on my caloric intake. It might not seem like much, but it is a good start for this new year. A small weight loss of 5 pounds per month could add up to 60 pounds in 1 year, so every little bit matters.

I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors. Our issues with food, self esteem, and body image are so complex and so very misunderstood by the public.

[hopeful1217]

Congrats on being ready for a change! One thing I know is that only when you are ready, and you want to change can your self estem begin to change along with your weight. As long as you are making changes for you and no one else, you're on the right path!

One suggestion regarding exercise is to find out what you like to do. Hours on the treadmill may not be for you, so look into different types of exercises that you enjoy. Exercise dance videos, kick boxing, playing on the Wii, any kind of physical activity is great, especially if you're not doing much now. The more you enjoy it, the more likely you are to stick with it, and once you get into a pattern of exercises, begin including more cardio and strength training. Be sure to take it slow and work at your own pace, but also make sure you're putting effort into your activities. One rule of thumb I have heard is if you can sing while you're exercising, you can work harder; if you cannot talk while you're exercising, you're working too hard and you should slow down.

One more thing, and probably one of the most important for your self esteem....skinny does not equal happy OR healthy. Strive to get to your happy weight. Set realistic goals that will make YOU happy.

Good luck and God bless! I'm rootin' for ya'!

[Mr I Care]

Nurses are so focus on caring for others we tend to forget about ourseleves. After working 12 hour shifts the only thing you want to do is sleep and eat a quick meal. This is the reason why many of us are over-weight, or should I say, have a little more weight than we want to. I too have to exercise a little more myself because my 8pak is starting to look like a 6pak of beer. As a student, I hate to cook after coming home from a three hour nursing course, or a 8-12 hour clinical rotation. So, I always eat out and never look at calories.

To all the ladies in this forum dont beat your self up over your weight. You are beautiful no matter what others think. I like a woman with meat on her bones.

[MammaNurse2Be]

How about a pep talk? There are two questions I ask myself - Is it good for my health or is it bad for my health? You body is your palace. It is the only one God has blessed you with and it is up to you, only you, to take care of it. When you are eating take out, do you really like the taste? Or is it that you are not taking the time to figure out what to cook? Do have such a messy kitchen that the thought of cooking is an impossible task. I urge you to take a look at flylady.net to slowly begin to put your life in order. Tomorrow is a new day and the goal to lose 50 pounds may seem daunting. But what about deciding tonight that you will have a healthy breakfast? Commit to that plus cleaning the kitchen. If you don't like to cook, treat yourself to a class. For you, if you just try to cook at home you will drop weight so darn fast. Here a few things I eat during the week that you may like. Most are easy and quick.

Breakfast- scramble eggs and put in a warm flour tortilla with cilantro and and about a tsp of cheese. I add about a tsp of sour cream and drizzle with salsa. This is quick, and will hold you. Gosh, have two.

do you like yogurt? i love greek yogurt with honey and granola, or sheeps yogurt with blackberry

oatmeal with brown sugar and pecans. Not the kind out of a pack. The whole oats you boil with a little water or milk.

homemade pancakes with chicken apple sausage. not bisquick but take a the flour, buttermilk etc and make your own. have two small ones with chicken apple sausauge and strawberries. drink a small glass of milk. take the time to set your table. this isn't rocket science and does not talk a long time.

lunch- i buy two, one inch pieces of salmon from the fish monger each week. It takes all of 10 minutes to put in on foil, drizzle with olive oil, lemon juice, and a bit of dijon mustard and salt and pepper. I then either add diced mini tomatoes and a few fresh green beans that have been tossed in olive oil and salt and pepper. Then i roast at 450 until done. Don't like salmon? either did i. it used to make me gag. But i knew how good it was for me. One summer, about two years ago, I forced myself to eat salmon twice a week. I used to take a bite and have to chase it with water to get it down. My body now craves this food. My brain and body feel so great after eating this. Need a carb with it? Have a fresh slice of whole grain bread.

Dinner can be boiled pasta tossed with pesto and shrimp. or chicken. my point is that you can work on one meal or snack at a time. I had a thread on this website about what I eat for lunch. try and search it as there are other great ideas.

Today i made fresh ginger cookies. Ginger is so good for you and it was a treat too.

Start walking five minutes a day, then 10. do it for the health of your heart not because of weight loss.

Here is the FACT: YOUR BODY IS YOUR PALACE. ONCE YOU GET HEART DISEASE OR DIABETES IT WILL BE TOO LATE!

I felt so sad for you reading your post. But, you know what to do you just have to do it. If you keep saying you can't, you never will Honey. That is the power of negative thought.. If you say you can, YOU WILL. You won't be perfect, no one is perfect, but you will be saving your life.

Ask yourself what you want out of life, write it down, and then do it. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SAVE YOU!

As for thinking it is ok, because your dh thinks your sexy. It isn't. He is probably in the same boat you are. It also isn't ok because you feel so bad about yourself.

Make a CHOICE TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tait, MSN, RN]

Wouldn't that be great if junk food was good for us! Most of us would probably be much healthier.

Thanks for sharing your frustrations. You speak for many people.

Here is a way to break this habit. It is the same way I quit smoking: (haven't picked up a cigarette in over 8 years)

Buy your favorite junk food and put it in front of you. When you are tempted to eat it, just don't eat it. That sounds silly and kind of lame, but think about it. In life we regularly come across junk food items we crave. If you just don't eat it, you don't eat it. Next time you come across some junk food you want to eat, tell yourself: "just don't eat it." and then don't eat it.

The way to break our habits is to force ourself not to do it. The way to establish habits is to just do it. No matter how badly we don't want to.

I know we all have our ways of doing things but I would STRONGLY avoid this method. To build walls around foods you love and place failure at every turn is NOT the way to begin a healthier lifestyle.

I have been hovering at 205# for years now. Never quite fat enough to be embarrassed, but never thin enough to be happy. In the past two months I have dropped 16#s (as of 1-1-10 at 189#) and have not sacrificed ANYTHING.

I still have a buffalo blue salad from Zaxby's when the craving hits, I still have chips and queso on a night out with my husband. I still have way too many Starbucks a week (non fat tall caramel machicatto weighing in at 150 delectable calories). I eat regular salad dressing in moderation and I buy lots of apples, applesauce, cucumbers and bananas.

I use an app on my iPhone to track a 1389 calorie per day regiment. It is not a diet, it is a lifestyle adjustment. I bought a pair of MBT walking shoes (Sketchers has the same thing for about 1/3 the price) and wear them EVERYWHERE. They motivate me, give me energy and are really helping trim down my thighs and strengthen my core muscles which in turn in drastically reducing my DDD back pain.

Some days I go under my calories, some days I go over, but it is amazing when you have a number in your head, and even if you don't calculate it all out, you automatically choose wiser options after awhile. Sort of like a monetary spending budget.

The key is not abusing yourself in the process. The whole point is to be happier, healthier and feel better. To taunt and berate yourself at every turn makes the whole process pointless and drives you straight to depression and utter failure.

Now I will say my husband has taught me a lot about my perspective. Where I might look at the scale and scream over a 3# weight gain (yeah it happened after a weekend at my mom's and lots of airplane travel, despite counting and accounting for everything I ate) he said "it's natural fluctuation in body fluids". I stuck with my plan and after about five days all the weight was back off and I was back at 194.

I weigh myself everyday and mentally set my next mini goal. Right now my goal is to be 185 when we get back from Disney. Yep I am going to the happiest place on earth, with all the fattiest foods and I am going to lose weight. My plan? Eat fruits/veggies and water to my hearts content during the day, and something fabulous for dinner. With all the walking I expect to not gain a smidge. However if I do, I will adjust when I get home and stay on track.

A recent article I read said "change one habit per week, at the end of the year you will be amazed by the 52 new habits you have".

When I work I up my calories a bit with proteins like cheese, fat free tuna salad and fruits for extra fiber. I allow myself up to a 2000 calorie day when I am working because otherwise I feel a bit wiped out at the end of the day.

Walking was the hardest feat for me to accomplish, because I mostly just wanted to stay in and sit on Facebook or Allnurses.com all day . However once I had my shoes and was excited to share a very private hour with my husband four nights a week discussing all manner of things I found myself looking forward to heading out each night. (Now I will admit with the holidays this has gone all manner of the dinosaur, but we will be back to regular jaunts after Disney).

I would watch the depression symptoms you exhibit, but a moderate amount of exercise and some better food will probably make a lot of difference!

Best of luck and feel free to PM me if you want to share stories some time!

Tait

[matchsticktgt, LPN]

I love food and hate exercise.....but my mother in law bought us a Wii and Wii fit plus for Christmas. .....and I have used the silly thing all but one day since. ..it keeps track of the calories I burn, has yoga, strength training, aerobic exercise.....and its FUN. My bmi has decreased and ive lost 3.4 pounds. best of all my teenagers and husband enjoy some friendly competition...and I don't have to drive somewhere to see skinny people in better shape than me