Tired of being FAT and having low self esteem

[NurseLoveJoy88]

I am addicted to food and don't exercise at all. When I get home from work all I do is sit on the couch , watch tv, and eat. I order out almost every day and constantly eat junk food. I can no longer fit some of my colthes and I don't like going out as much as I like to due to my weight. My husband loves me and still find me to be sexy but wants me to lose some weight.

I know what obesity can do to my health and I know what I need to do to lose weight but I just don't do it. I'm not going to list any excuses because there are none. I just love to eat bad food and haven't tried to make any changes. I uses to go to the gym a lot while in nursing school now I don't go at all. Im fed up with being fat and crying . I need to change but I just don't have the will.

Right now I have failed myself, I even have chinese food on the way as I'm typing this. Tomorrow is another day and I pray that it will be the day that I get enough strength to make some changes. Tomorrow we are going to a party where I will be tempted with food. I'm going to try my best to set my limits and make healthy choices. thanks for letting me vent. Take care everyone.

[Blackcat99]

There are many 12-step groups out there dealing with food issues. Overeater's Anonymous, Food Addicts in Recovery, Food Addicts Anonymous, Eating Disorders Anonymous etc. Help is out there whether you go it the online route, face to face route or by phone. For me, I KNOW what to do to lose the weight (as most of us do). I can recite calories, fat grams, etc of many foods and many fast foods. Knowledge of exercise etc avails me nothing. I have never met a simple carb that I didn't love

I've tried doing it myself and it didn't work for me. I needed help and I go to a 12 step meeting that deals with food issues. They provide me with a support system and network that I go to when the food is calling my name. No matter what any of you do to fight this battle.....

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!! This is the way to do it folks!!!!!! :yeah:

[MizChelleRN]

Great advice here, thank you all!!! I could have been the OP, for sure. (I wanted to post here so I could be subscribed to the thread too!)

I looooove 3fc.com (three fat chicks on a diet, they have a book out and a website.) It has been an incredible support for me (I'm NurseMichelle on there if you wanna find me) It's a HUGE site, lots of subforums, you can spend a crazy long time cruising there.

It has been touched on here, but I will come out and say it. I've also been in treatment and 12 step meetings for addiction and alcoholism. My problem was never the drink or the pills. It is a disease of how I THINK. We have a physical, chemical thinking disease. I don't think like "normal" people do. It's a disease of "first thought wrong". I have to stop a moment and think twice before I act. I tend to medicate rather than feel, and believe me, now that pills and booze are out of the picture, I try to use food to squash uncomfortable feelings. Hell, I overeat even if I am not having uncomfortable feelings.

Do you remember on Austin Powers, Fat You-know-what (LOL) said, "I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat"...we forget what even came first, so we don't know how to fix the problem!

So anyways, I've been sober for almost nine months but it really is time to address this overeating. I feel like I am feeding my disease, keeping my disease alive by overeating. If I continue to feed my disease, I'll be using and drinking again eventually. If I use or drink again, I will die. And that is no joke. Addiction (even food addiction) is about life and death for me.

First I had to come to the conclusion that I am powerless over my disease and my life has become unmanageable. Unmanageable! HA! I can barely walk up stairs without being short of breath, I don't get involved in my kids' activities, I don't "play" like other parents do, I'm a darn good nurse, but I know I am a little slower moving than my fit counterparts. Lots of examples like this. And being powerless, I mean I can't control my obsession with food once I've had that first bite. Literally like I had with my alcoholism, that first drink and the disease would spin out of control. We literally cannot take that first bite, drink or hit.

Spiritually, I have to get my house in order. No, I am not going to preach about God or religion, I really won't even talk about the whole Higher Power thing, it usually turns people off and their eyes glaze over. But you have to find SOMETHING, anything bigger than yourself. Some force or energy higher than you. But I will tell you this. Once you have made a decision to turn your will over to a power higher than yourself, you don't have to run the show yourself, relinquish control, give the reins to a power that will guide you to the life you are meant to live, you will immediately feel a weight lifted from your shoulders (no pun intended). I always felt like I had to run every minute detail of everything, work, home, everything. I spread myself so thin (again, no pun intended) I was making my self so crazy with perfectionism, it's no wonder I used and drank, and now, ate. Just let whatever will be, be.

Hmmm that sums up steps 1-3. And we're just getting started. And I wonder if I am even making any sense, or did your eyes all glaze over when I mentioned the Higher power stuff?

New Year's resolutions are usually crap, but I do like the mindset of new year, new you. But if you are reading this thread in June, just make a decision and START today. Surrender. Take a look at your patterns, your thinking and see if you can find something about yourself. You are not alone. You don't have to do this alone.

You are all welcome to PM me anytime. thanks for letting me rant. I get on a soapbox when it comes to addiction, recovery and being the person we are supposed to be. HAPPY 2010 everyone. xo Michelle

[Laboratorian]

Take baby steps: first thing would be to stop ordering in food. That's VERY expensive! If you love food so much, you should make cooking new (and healthy) foods a fun activity! Fyi: koren and thai food soooo much fun to cook and have less fat than chinesse take out.

[JJJTWEETY]

I totally understand what you're going through. I signed up with this website http://www.sparkpeople.com, and they offer great tools to help you. They provide support groups, meal tracker, fitness tracker, etc. I'm positive that this new year will be a new me.

[minirn]

It sounds like you eat out A LOT - so it sounds like you have a lot of money to waste on that food. It's expensive to eat like that. Take that money and fill your house only with healthy food. Of course you need good support from your husband and hopefully he can give you that. The way I prevent eating out or grabbing stuff from the vending machines is to NOT keep any cash on me. I don't have enough self control much of the time so I do these two things to help 1) keep only healthy (real) food in house and 2) i don't keep cash on me to be tempted to stop off and buy somethings quicky. This helps me to think before I eat.

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

I could have written that post myself, probably have , in slightly different words.... I would love to say that just buckling down and eating right helped ,me-- but it didnt. I simply ate as a hobby, as much as I could. I ended up having a gastric bypass.... and it was the best thing I ever did.... Its not for everyone, but its a good idea for alot of people.... Its been 2 years, I am in a size 2, I dont feel tired all the time, my bones dont ache, and I wake up refreshed....and I can eat everything, just in normal sized portions... anyways, thats my story.... just wanted to share.... good luck, its a battle I have fought many times, and lost:twocents:

[doublezero]

Hi,

It's not how often you exercise that get's you thinner , it's what you put in your mouth that get's you fatter or thinner.

[Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN]

.

Changes are tough - but, when you wake up with the gift of another day - consider that there is no better time than NOW to be able to get it right. We see lots of people that will NEVER get the chance to get it right or have another day. Find some token that can center you in this reminder as you make each day matter in some way (to remember to be grateful and to remind yourself of your blessings) - carry it with you, touch as necessary. For me it is a small gold cross on a box chain, I never remove. I have acquired others for many reasons through the years (though I do not carry 'em all) - the key is that it be something important to you.

I say start at your MD - make sure you are healthy enough to start and seek advice and support (medical options are available, through everyone is different - seek guidance and enlist your doctor on TEAM YOU. I know that expensive diets or gym memberships, though nice in ways, are not necessary to conquer your addiction. To really lose weight - you must start with your brain.

Do not go on a DIET - make the CHOICE to eat healthily and have the lifestyle you deserve, diets do not work in the long term. Make the CHOICE to get up and move. Walk around the room, house, block. You do not have to go to a gym to see results.

You are a healthcare professional and I will presume that you have enough knowledge to put the pieces together. You have to use more calories than you take in. Your heart needs exercise like any muscle.

I really believe that most of our deliberate issues of self-neglect/destruction (fat, smoking, unfit, drinking, drugs, tanning) come from some issue related to self hatred or anger or depression or some form of pain. I know that therapy will help these situations and as difficult as it may be to ask for help - when you get to a healthy "place" & look back you will know that it will be the best thing you could have ever done for yourself and everyone you love.

EVERY bite that we put in our mouths is done to change what we are feeling. From true hunger to a hunger that no amount of food will never satisfy. You deserve better than what you are dealing with now.

I do believe that accountability (program, MD office, friend, hubby) and responsibility are KEY to success. Weigh in and make it known - work out and make it known. Write down every bite, every step and every good choice and bad - write down how you feel with each bite, step and choice. Resolve to treat yourself kindly and gently - ask for what you need - get yourself what you need. I think we are good at caring for everyone - except ourselves. Make the change to care for yourself and the other changes will be easy.

Good Luck and may your Journey be Blessed.

:angel:

[rnjls]

I, Like you, am addicted to food. I eat out a lot, although i really can't afford to, mostly because I'd rather eat alone in a restaurant than at home. I know that's different than a lot of people. I am working on making lifestyle changes because I do know that I have to make changes and calling it a diet just sets me up for failure at the start. One thing that has worked for me is the organization TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) and I plan to rejoin this week. I am making a grocery list for healthy, tasty foods. I don't usually buy non-fat stuff, just cut down on my consumption of the regular stuff. I just know that I have to do something about my weight now before it is too late. Good luck to you, and to all of the other posters who are struggling with this problem.

[NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN]

Thank you everyone for the support and advice. I feel better knowing that others have overcome their weight issues. I've read some ideas that I think can really work for me. I feel like I can and will do this !

[honeygurl]

As others have said, that could have been me posting. My weight has fluctuated my entire adult life. In the last year I have forgotten all of my good habits (working out 5 times a week, making good food choices) and have been practicing habits I thought I had left behind for good. The result has been a weight gain of about 20-30 pounds. I have just moved to a new city and start an accelerated BSN program in a little over a week. I'm terrified I'm going to be the fat girl, struggling to keep up with other students.

To the OP -- you know what to do; we have to find the motivation to make small changes, one meal at a time.

To the others, especially those that suggest the 12 step programs -- thank you!

[LoveActually]

To the OP, I would stick to addiction support, and not look for it here necessarily. You flat out said "addiction" in your first sentence, and did not get appropriate responses to that, but you got a whole lot of other dieting advice and "just do it's". We who suffer addiction know that is just not possible. My solution was a Spiritual one. I just lost my sister the other day, and I have no desire to drink, or overeat. I would have really liked a few xanax for my flight home, because I have horrible anxiety to flying, and usually get my doc to prescribe me few for those instances but...I have never abused benzos.

I'm going off on a tangent. Stick to the Spiritual solution. It works!

Much Love

Nurses should understand more about the disease of addiction