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  1. MizChelleRN

    Has anyone worked at Dialysis at Sea Cruise Ship?

    I too am verrrry curious about this! But I have heard that there IS NO pay...only the free room and board of being on the cruise. hmmm. Can this be true?!
  2. MizChelleRN

    Wondering about working for Davita Dialysis

    Hello!!!! Welcome to the Nurses and recovery forum! OMG, you are telling my story! Word for word in fact. I too was facing one count felony four charge theft of drugs, and got the drug court program that would expunge my record in one year, again....not convicted, just charged...expunged as of June 2010 (WOOT!) You're not in ohio are you!? that would make the similarities too freaky! LOL Paging WadeRN, WadeRN.....he and I went through this exact process too (with davita, though his story is a bit different, its also kind of the same outcome) Here's the bad news. I went through the process locally as well, the hiring manager LOVED me and was very enthusiastic to hire me....signed some papers, did the drug screen, all the "on-boarding" process, until one day I didn't hear any more from them, just that the on boarding process seemed to slow down for some reason at a corporate level and the hiring manager was confused and didn't know what was going on either. So we waited. And waited. Then one day, like two weeks into the process (after like a month with the interviewing, the 4hr job shadowing, etc) I called THEM (corporate, out in Denver, CO) and got some generic answer about "going with another candidate"...blah blah blah. Oh wait, I've posted this story somewhere, here is the copy and paste... Davita is the local big name in dialysis in my area. I feel dialysis is a verrrry recovery friendly area, not to mention my entire career was med-surg RENAL (I did CAPD and took care of the hemodialysis patients on the floor) I got through the interview, the job shadowing, the second interview, got the offer (WOOT, right? waaaait for it) got the position and the contract approved through the BON, signed the contract, was in talks about start date and going away to training....and got caught up in the background check. I was up front and COMPLETELY honest about EVERY single detail of my history, and I still came across as the best person for the job, the clinical manager LOVED me, and was willing to give me that chance. Anyhow, a week into waiting for the drug screen and background check to come through, someone from corporate in COLORADO called to ask me a few questions about my history, I told them EVERYTHING (again, still have nothing to hide, am upfront and honest about everything), faxed everything I could find about what was what, but was told my "case" would have to go before "a committee" to approve employment....TWO WEEKS later (last friday) I was told the committee decided NOT to move forward with the on-boarding process and really did not give me a better reason why not. I was too dumb founded to ask. I am considering calling back and getting some real answers. (got the "we just wanted to keep our option open and search out another candidate, blah blah blah) So another nurse on here (WadeRN) also went through "the committee" and got similar results. I hope I am not freaking you out. I think if I were where you are now, my heart would be sinking....that is NOT my intention!!!!! I wish I hadn't been blindsided by what happened to me though. I was really dumbstruck. I signed contracts! I got through the BON approving the position! I went through the drug screen! I signed up for 401k and health benefits! Everything was in place, then SMACK! So I want you to prepare for the worst, but of course, I am sure they do hire some nurses in recovery....I did have a friend there (at davita, in recovery) but her recovery came after she had been with them for years, and her addiction did not involve a felony or legal charges. You may want to consider their working conditions too....check out over at the specialty/renal forum....they have a reputation for overworking and underpaying their employees....which I was willing to go with anyhow, to get a job in the first place, but now see that my Higher Power had other plans for me, and it may have been a blessing that I did NOT end up there...or not, we'll see. In fact, I do have a job now....I started it four weeks ago with another dialysis company (CDC, it is local in the Cleveland area, they work with lots of nurses in recovery) I was told that it is difficult for anyone to get any job with that felony pending. Especially difficult in healthcare, because (this is what I was told....don't quote me, I don't have an official source) that anyone who recieves government funding risks their reimbursement if they employ anyone who has a felony charge. So I wasn't even recieving calls back from my applications, but I didn't know that until way late in my search. In fact, as soon as the felony was expunged, I started getting mad calls for interviews. (ok, not MAD calls, but certainly a lot more) So again....I don't want to discourage you, but know that there is hope at the end. I had to wait tables at the Waffle House until my probation was over. My Higher Power still provided for me and my family, we never went without...we never lost our home, our cars, and the kids did not suffer. Not all of us are that lucky, I know, but I do believe that it all is for a reason in the end. I wish you the best of luck. I am sure this post is a million percent a downer, a negative, I hope you don't read it that way. Remember, your sobriety comes first!!! Turn it over, and God will get you where He wants you. Please share more about your story!!! Keep us updated about your Davita story....I am especially curious about the outcome. GOOD LUCK! xo Michelle
  3. MizChelleRN

    not passing nsg school

    I would like to share my story with you. I have been a nurse for 12 years now. I failed out of nursing 201 (the whole program consisted of 101, 102, 201, 202 plus pre-reqs) I thought it was just the end of the world! I was so jealous of all my former classmates that went on to graduate, I was angry and resentful the following year when I had to repeat the class. I was ESPECIALLY irritated/jealous/resentful when I had to work as a nurses aide UNDER one of my former classmates. grrrrr.....I am still irritated at that woman, she did NOT know how to treat NAs. But I digress..... The second time through was a completely different experience. First I made friends with a girl who had to repeat just like me, a girl I never knew the first time through the class but we bonded over having the same feelings (above) and we are BEST friends today. I wouldn't have that beautiful person in my life had the circumstances been different. And the second time I passed, I passed with flying colors because I actually UNDERSTOOD the concepts we were being taught. I learned to UNDERSTAND, and not just memorize. I had the "lightbulb" moment and became a GREAT nurse. I suppose I could have squeaked by and been an insecure unsure nurse who could be potentially dangerous, but instead I took that extra year to really "get it" and became an excellent nurse. I wouldn't change the whole experience for anything. I know you're hurting today, but, honestly, at the big picture of it all, it will all work out exactly as it is supposed to. Plus I think you already are formulating a plan, and looking at moving on, and not just wallowing in self pity or beating yourself up. good luck to you!
  4. MizChelleRN

    Treated any differently for street drugs?

    I hear what you're asking....I agree that an addict or alcoholic is just the same, regardless of the drug. Interesting what society says about the stigma of "street" drugs. And how I can get different sympathy when I tell my story, that I became addicted to opiates following a surgery with complications, but how people's tune changes when it comes with cocaine, diversion, and much shadier stuff. For you and sharing, I guess I would just allude to my addiction and say "and other substances" when speaking in general terms. When I attend some of the more "uppity" AA meetings (sorry, no offense, but some ARE uppity! I was once asked to leave an AA meeting for talking about drugs...."NA meeting down the street"...eyeroll...I was new to recovery and didnt really examine my drinking and thought I didn't have a drinking problem..haha, I have a THINKING problem) I have to edit down my drug use and focus on the alcohol abuse, where I can pepper in allusions to "other substances" and "lines I crossed that I would not have otherwise crossed had I not been an alcoholic"...and let people make their own inferences. Truth be told, I've heard that heroin is a very natural transition from opiate addiction, as their effect on the addict are similar. I am sure I would have loved the hell out of some heroin, the accompanying hell notwithstanding. I was a funny addict....was shooting straight dilaudid and crushing/snorting vicodin, yet, I never did oxycontin, because "PEOPLE GET ADDICTED TO THAT CRAP!" .....oh the lies we tell ourselves! I thought oxys were that stuff people really got in trouble for! But I could rationalize what I was doing?! Ohhhh the insidiousness of the disease. I love the YETs.....You're Eligible To....I was certainly eligible to do anything, and never saw it coming. Glad you're back in the rooms spizwink....stick around this forum. xo Michelle
  5. MizChelleRN

    Just took random drug test

    Please note that I don't mean to offend WHATSOEVER with what I am about to say. No, I also don't want to argue it either, because I respect anyone else's beliefs and won't try to push my beliefs on you if you don't want to hear it....ignore me if you must....(yep its a God thing, or spirituality if you will....) In my life, I didn't think I had a problem either (actually, I knew the drug thing WAS getting out of control but I didn't want to give up my "social" drinking) (and actually you stated you probably do have a problem but aren't ready to give it up yet anyways)....ugh, I hate when I ramble and can't make my point....anyhoo. God (of my understanding) sent me a wake up call...in the form of something pretty similar to what you are going through. Yeah, I wasn't done with it, but I think a Higher Power wanted to send me a signal that it was time for a change. I feel like I could have kept using and drinking, and perhaps I would have gotten sicker, or at the least, very resistant to change.....but I got my wakeup call while I still had the WILLINGNESS to be well. Any idea of "control" you may have is usually just your disease lying to you....we don't control it, it controls us. And it wants us DEAD. period. If we wait until WE are "done with it"...we will be dead....I have a hard time believing I would have ever come to the conclusion that I needed to change on my own. I needed someone to intervene on my behalf. I needed to go to jail, court, probation, two treatment programs, monitoring with the board of nursing, what some would consider to be a "high bottom" was a low enough one for me. Today I am grateful I went through what I did to get where I am today. I am sorry you are hurting....there is so much pain in this process....guilt, shame, embarrassment, humiliation. But know that the night is darkest before the dawn, the miracle is yet to come, it is your time. This is a GIFT to you, for you, your loved ones, for the rest of your life. I wish you peace. Come back and let us know how you are doing. ~Michelle
  6. MizChelleRN

    Wondering who has changed specialties

    Well....good question!!!! I worked 12 years med-surg, renal/diabetic ed. Now (in recovery) I work in hemodialysis, so I guess....YEP, I stayed in the same "specialty"...renal....but wow, I cannot imagine doing med surg again, pushing and being around narcotics when my drug of choice was Dilaudid. My program is strong, but I don't want to think about the temptation again. Plus the stress of floor/hospital nursing really threatens my sobriety anyways. I think I am happier doing this whole other change of pace, clinic setting. I think if I hadn't gotten this job in dialysis, substance abuse nursing would have been a good fit for me. But somehow I started my career in renal, am well versed in renal, and feel my knowledge about this system is "my place" in nursing. Found it by chance straight out of nursing school, but fit me well. I'm curious though....if other ppl will relate their old specialty to their addiction and somehow trigger from it? Is that why you can't see doing labor and delivery anymore? Oh and I wouldn't say my contract prohibits me from going back, but for now I have that six month narc restriction and that makes me generally unhirable in med surg anyways.
  7. MizChelleRN

    Roll call...status call...

    Thanks for sharing Dixiecup, I'm curious though, do you consider yourself an addict? It actually sounds like you NEED the medications, needed them when you diverted them, use them to this day exactly as ordered...it doesn't sound like you abuse them., like I did. I fear that being my story in life, that one day I will be reliant on the meds that I am addicted to...but how realistic is that!? I'm sure my gall bladder will have to come out one day...hell, I still have my tonsils! I can't fear being on pain medication ever again, but I know that for me, one pill or one shot will snowball very quickly. I started my career as an addict NEEDING the meds, had a complicated surgery and series of postop infections...was unable to clear the line between needing and just wanting the drugs. (I'm not referring to your story anymore, Dixie, no worries) I'm telling you guys too, I might be new and in training at my job, but dialysis feels like the way to go. No narcs on site, still dealing with patients, families, docs, other disciplines, still keeping some skills fresh (its very technical and your assessment skills are still in use) plus I get that little boost of self importance from being a leader on the team (maybe I need to consider my humility here, but I do get a little validation being in charge). I did get a call about a research nurse position too, which probably wouldnt be my cup of tea but still. I guess it's interesting though...how one's past experiences may pave the way to their futures. Maybe I was meant to have been in med-surg/renal/diabetic ed so that when I needed to make a change, dialysis would be my fit. I mean, I was already facing several strikes against me with the diversion,etc but my experience in renal nursing probably helped me land my position. So maybe there is an avenue the rest of you can take, if you kind of map out what you already know and take it from there?
  8. MizChelleRN

    Roll call...status call...

    STATUS UPDATE! I am officially EMPLOYED! I am writing this on a Sunday night, and I start tomorrow morning. I almost missed out on the oppurtunity though!!!!! I got the actual offer on THURSDAY even though I knew training started 9/20 and I told the company that I would need a small window of time for the BON to review and approve the worksite and fax back and forth the contracts and get all my ducks in a row. So they "were taking care of all that"...I hadn't heard so I called friday back and forth....I don't know who was or wasn't doing what but....drama, okay, I finally found out for sure and got all the paperwork in place, FRIDAY around 4pm. ughhh stress!!!! I think that the God of my understanding really does have a sense of humor. (wanna make God laugh? Make plans) It is a dialysis clinic position, and its an hour away. The pay is pretty good, only about $3 less than my pay after 12 years in the hospital, four 10hr shifts. I am so greatly, desperately GRATEFUL. That would have been my advice to any of our recovering nurses on here; if you can, expand your search to include big cities near you. Bigger cities have more experience working with nurses on disciplined/restricted licenses. I have found much more compassion in bigger cities, although I have also been blessed with some pretty good experiences around here too (not that any resulted in a job! LOL). Keep plugging along friends....I'm glad I stuck it out. xo Michelle
  9. MizChelleRN

    Roll call...status call...

    Let's try this....what kind of information should we be looking for? i am curious who/how many nurses we have around here, what state we are from, and whether we are working or not, what field of work our nurses are in, Something like a check-in...like this: I'm Michelle, from Ohio. Sobriety date 4/17/2009. In Alternative program. Got my license back (with restrictions) November 2009 (lost my license the morning of the sobriety date) and currently not employed, but actively seeking. Actually I am in talks with a possible job oppurtunity, in dialysis, should know by this week. What other information would you like to see listed in this check in? I think it might help others know, how long you looked for a job before you found one, how long it took for you to get your license back, what fields are recovery friendly, idk....maybe this is a silly idea. Let's see how it goes. xo Michelle
  10. MizChelleRN

    License reinstated but no one will hire me

    This whole thread really hits some notes for me. I could have written the OP, and several of the posts after that as well. So sorry ayneday to hear what you are going through right now. Yep, we walk a very very fine line and we could get discharged from our programs for technicalities. I don't know what to offer you, but love and support. I'm sorry it played out the way it did for you. I wonder if a lawyer can help you clear up the mistake though...? They told me that I could not be in the Alternative program with a felony on my record. I was given the drug court program and had my felony expunged in June after a year long intensive probation. That said...I got my nursing license back in November 2009 but could not land a job because I was still on probation. So technically my best chances of finding anything is now, that the felony is erased but I still have the restricted license. Simply, the market is TIGHT. It is hard for MOST nurses to find jobs, and basically my 12 years of experience practically lumps me with the new grads. I would love to believe an employer would be lucky to have me, with my vast knowledge (tongue in cheek) but most people won't deal with the restrictions. Its painful and frustrating. Some days I have this great attitude. My program reassures me that my Higher Power has a plan for me, there is something out there for me, it will happen on His time, not my time, not the BON's time. I keep looking and keep interviewing and keep applying. Someone somewhere in this thread said it just like I've been hearing it; that interviewers love me...my personality, my experience, everything....but it does usually come down to someone in corporate halting the process. I will say, I've been blessed not to have any really bad experiences during an interview. It is getting more and more comfortable for me to explain my situation for what it was though. And most people are pretty accepting. Keep plugging along....I do believe we all have something waiting for us out there. xo Michelle
  11. MizChelleRN

    I'm doing my first LEAD todayyyy!

    Thanks Catmom!!!!! Today was such a wonderful and blessed day. The mini lead went pretty well. I feel like I forgot to say at least half of what I meant to say, but I am pretty sure that everything I needed to say and got some really great feedback/support. It truly pushed my recovery to the next level. Riding that wave tonight! Thanks everyone here for the love too. xo I'm curious that you said "lead" is not a familiar term in your area! Just wondering if that is across the board? yep, you got the drift....speaker meetings, leads, one hour to tell your story, get some feedback/thanks and thats the whole meeting. This one was a mini-lead followed by discussion, so I kept "my story" to a minimum, around 20 min or so. Mini lead/discussion is a relatively new format in my area. How is everyone else's recovery going? I think I need to find a new sponsor. Ugh my current one is kind of unavailable, doesn't always return my calls, I dunno. I could be more proactive myself but our schedules are opposite...she's a schoolteacher and does her meetings/program in the evenings and I do day meetings/program bc my kids are in school. That is subject to change of course, if I ever get a jobbbbb. Yes, there is some developments on that front, but I'm sick of jinxing myself and telling everyone, haha, so I'm going to wait. But I am scheduled for an "aptitude" test next Tuesday morning....I think I am going to land this one. Stepwise, I've been through the 8th and 9th now and am working the 10th-12th but am considering going back and hitting up the 4th....feeling kind of resentful lately, sorry for myself at times, frustrated....until today that is! Giving that lead was the best thing for my recovery. I feel so, so, so great today. Love to all. xo Michelle
  12. MizChelleRN

    I'm doing my first LEAD todayyyy!

    I am doing my first lead today!!!! It is a mini-lead followed by a discussion chosen by the speaker and I am nervous as heckkkk. So weird since I usually am pretty comfortable making comments at meetings or just speaking my mind... :) Doing my first full length lead Sept 13th 8pm....I am almost 18 months sober and for a long time turned down the oppurtunity to share because "I was never ready" but really it was all crap, I just have this disease that tells me no one wants to hear my story, my story can't help anyone, crappp like that. I'm just going to turn it over, ask God to speak through me, and I'm sure it will be beautiful and perfect. Anyone wish to share their experiences leading? THANKS! love to all! xo Michelle
  13. MizChelleRN

    Any legit job websites?

    Sorry to the OP if we've gotten away from the topic!!! :redpinkhe But I figured since this is where we've been posting and made this the Michelle and Wade thread, LOL....I'd come here and post my good news. I had a WONDERFUL interview today! Dialysis company in Cleveland, about an hour from my home but the drive wasn't too bad really. Yeah, I'll probably be grumbling about the commute someday but for today, all I have is gratitude. The interview went great and the interviewer was kind. She already knows and employs SEVERAL nurses on probation, knows the Ohio Alternative Program, even knows my case worker/contact with the board. So that was two pluses on my side! She didn't come right out and make an offer but DEFINITELY gave off strong statements like, I think we can make this work, and I'd really like to have you on our team, that kind of thing. Gave me details about the orientation (dates, even!) and the training and the testing, everything sounding soooo close but not quite a DEFINITE offer yet. She loved that I was so honest and forthcoming about what I've been through....and honestly, if I weren't comfortable in my recovery, that wouldn't have been so apparent. So I've been invited to shadow on Friday, 6am-10am followed by another interview, meet with corporate or the unit manager, then back to HR to schedule an assessments test for next week. She said its a basic math and english test but would probably take about three hours to take.....So I think things are going well. I didn't want to jinx it by telling the world yet, but I knew my friends on here would understand. I've been clean, sober and unemployed since April 17th, 2009, so that might give some of you an idea of how long this process can take. Love to all, remember, one day at a time. xo Michelle
  14. MizChelleRN

    Need Advice

    Hello WhataWeb and WELCOME!!!! You are among family here!!! I commend you for your time clean. I know I could have never done it on my own. Pregnancy be damned, if you're sick enough. And be careful of statements like "I don't think I would steal any drugs from the hospital the drugs I done are not available at a hospital I never stolen anything before." I laughed right out loud, not AT you, but because I'm 10000000% sure that all of us diverters (is that a word?) would have said or believed that at some point in their lives. All those YETs....just means You're Eligible To. I never lived under a bridge or drank from a brown paper bag, but for me that was just a matter of time. I also TOTALLY TOTALLY agree with this.... "I do not recommend confessing anything to "the authorities" unless you want to stir up an endless hornet's nest." Good God, don't do that to yourself. I believe however, if you have any criminal background, including DUI, it may come to light in the licensing process. If your background is clean, this is perfect advice. I am wondering what you believe AA meetings are all about. I smile because people who have never been to a meeting often have really strange misconceptions about the program, about the meetings, and the people who attend the meetings. I tell ya, I think they are FUN! Yes, they can get emotional, intense at times, but you will be AMAZED that people feel EXACTLY like you do, have done what you've done (and MORE) and can TOTALLY relate to anything you are going through. If I depended on my non-alcoholic friends and fam for my sobriety, I would feel so alien and out of touch, I'd surely be drunk or high again. I need my meetings, my sponsor, my network. Here is a link to AA online...which is by NO MEANS a substitute for face to face meetings but may ease you into them... http://www.aaonline.net/ Here is how to find meetings in your area.... http://www.aa.org/lang/en/meeting_finder.cfm?origpage=29 Believe me, if you just walk into one and let someone know you're nervous and/or this is your first meeting, they will take you under their wing and guide you through the rest. I should say, that has been my experience. YMMV people are still people....if God forbid, you have a negative experience somehow, that is not what the program teaches us, find another meeting, DON'T GIVE UP. You've had a period of what we in the program call "soDRYety" and if you're ready to try SOBRIETY, you'll find a new freedom and happiness you haven't known yet. And you'll develop those tools that will protect you in the future should you face temptations....I believe right now you are walking a thin line close to obsession to use again....you mentioned TRIGGERS ("sometimes I do something or smell or taste something and it reminds me of the drugs I dont know if this will happen while I am working.") When you work a solid program of recovery, you'll be relieved of those obsessions and those thoughts that bring you back to drinking or drugging. PS....I gotta give you props for admitting you have alcoholic/addict tendencies...Some of us spend YEARS in the modality that we aren't like "those people"....I see alot of red flags in what you wrote, but I also see a lot of HOPE, a lot of humility and honesty, open-mindedness and willingness...well the willingness will come. You've already made a pretty big step coming here and joining us, asking the right questions!!!! Please let us know how you're doing!!!!! ~Michelle xo
  15. MizChelleRN

    Any legit job websites?

    Does anyone else notice what weird times the posts claim to be from? Sometimes I'll post things and they'll pop up as being posted in the future. I wonder what time zone they are supposed to be from? Anyhoo. So my phone interview was scheduled for yesterday at 1:30 and sure enough, the phone rang at 1:30 but it WASN'T my interview...! It was a dialysis clinic in Cleveland that I had put in for. (yes Cleveland is about an hour away...what am I gonna do?! Gotta find something somewhere) and I was a little panicked, I was waiting on that OTHER phone call. Anyways, this lady says something like, well I've been trying to find your RN license online and I am confused bc it says lapsed, etc...sigh....I like to wait until the interview to disclose all this but if it comes up at this time, I'm gonna be honest about it. Deep breath....welll I'm in the Alternative program with the Ohio board of nursing...and she basically cut me off and said, Oh I know that program, that's no problem here! Who is your case worker? And when I said her name, she was like Oh I've worked with her several times, I know her and I know the program, no worries....then cut to the actual professional stuff, like what kind of experience do I have etc....and got an interview for next Tuesday! With someone actually familiar with and friendly to our program! Ahhh and the telephone interviewer was running late so I did finally get that call. The job was going to be in Cleveland, on a bariatric surgery floor. 10 beds, 2 RN, 2 NA weekender +1 7p-7a qWeekend and one 12 hr shift during the week at the premium weekend pay (72hr/pay get paid for 88hrs.) and she had the same inquiry, well I see your license appears lapsed online....deep breath....Well I'm in...blah blah blah and she was all like, yeah, okay, we work with A LOT of healthcare professionals in recovery, its not a problem here. Then went on to tell me about a similar monitoring program they have internally, you'll have to take some assessment, have a case worker, meet their requirements, jump through their hoops, but yeah, we hire nurses on restricted licenses. Oh and this program they have, includes 12 step meetings and support groups for healthcare workers in recovery, which is something I've been seeking out and not finding so much in my area. My area isn't exactly rural!!! But comparedly, it is pretty small town feel and I'm not really meeting a ton of nurses in my situation, maybe three so far, and a really cool pharmacist, maybe one or two nurses aides, but just not a strong presence here in town. In fact, some nurses were starting a nurse support group (I posted a thread awhile back asking if that violated any traditions about exclusivity, the woman starting the meeting got a little bit of flack over it being a "nurses" support group) I haven't been able to attend bc I played in this softball league qSunday but now its over, I think I'll go check it out. Just not for this position.... ah well. It was the whole 2 RN/10 bed unit thing, I didn't know the unit would be so small when I put in for it. She said she would have loved to look at me if the unit weren't so small and that maybe I would be a good fit for something else coming up, that she might even be able to help me find something. I checked my statuses with my applications and two more of the statuses changed (This is the coolest feature of this website, you can check your status online. first they were recieved. then they were pulled for review and "we will contact you if we would like an interview"...) so to see 2 more statuses changed, my stuff being pulled for review...sounds very promising! :) In fact one of the newer status changed positions is in dialysis (seems to be my fall back option, not to mention I was in med-surg RENAL for 12 years, so it feels like a natural fit) so maybe they will call me again for that one. We shall see. Another long shot but sounded like something might come out of it....DH brought home a newspaper (he works about 40 min away) with an ad for RNs in a newly opening up surgery center. So I emailed my resume to the woman, and got an email yesterday, saying "I printed and saved your resume and will be calling you soon for an interview." Those exact words...that could be a lead! Do you think surgery center type nursing sounds okay for a restricted nurse? I guess I am thinking in my mind that CRNA/anesthesia does all the narc stuff but am wondering how accurate that is. Who knows. Maybe none of these will pan out either, but today I have hope. Actually the very first one I mentioned above sounds very very promising, I couldn't believe she had heard of my program and actually has worked with my case worker before too....that gave me chills. And the facility I actually did interview with is pretty recovery friendly too.(I don't know if it is appropriate to mention facility names, it doesnt feel like it is, so I'll wait) I feel like I'm rambling a bit but it is nice feeling hopeful and excited. Oh and for anyone who doesn't know me, I got caught last april (4-17-09) didn't get my license back til November 2009 (which, I'll tell you, is EARLY compared to what many have endured) and have not been employed yet. So yes, it is a long climb, lots of footwork getting interviews, and lots of closed doors, but keep searching for the windows. You'll find it.