Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

1000? was he in a coma?

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Specializes in ER and Hospice.

Never let a medical student cut a bloody down jacket while the industrial heat fan is blowing in the trauma room.

Never try to train your pirana to eat meat from your hand.

Never try to convince an ER nurse you 'fell' onto whatever object is stuck in your rectum.

If you're cornering a squirrel on a power line...they bite.....*THEY BITE!!*

Don't wipe your face with alcohol then open the gas oven to check the chicken.

Don't use the vacuum cleaner for anything other than picking up debris off the floor.

Don't call the ER to see if eating spoiled yogurt can hurt you....2 hours after you've eaten it.

Don't call the ER to see if you can get AIDS from eating feces. Just don't call....don't ask make us think about things like that.

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If you're cornering a squirrel on a power line...they bite.....*THEY BITE!!*

Don't wipe your face with alcohol then open the gas oven to check the chicken.

ROFL!!!

The neighbors dogs are going crazy now... I'm laughing so hard :lol2:

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Specializes in NICU.

Don't call the ER to see if you can get AIDS from eating feces. Just don't call....don't ask make us think about things like that.

Don't read this thread while eating fudge brownie ice cream. No lie. Eating it right now. :uhoh21:

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Specializes in Emergency Room.
Never let a medical student cut a bloody down jacket while the industrial heat fan is blowing in the trauma room.

.

OHmygosh... got a mental picture of this. Too funny... feathers everywhere.. wounds, everyone's hair... equipment.... LOL

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Specializes in LTC, Sub-Acute, Hopsice.
Just today a patient taught me that spermacidal foam tastes like Downey.

EWWW

Dave

...and he knows what Downey tastes like because???...:devil:

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

Sending in a victim of your drunken rage, and then some time later coming in yourself claiming so much pain isn't gonna get you a bit of sympathy

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If you're gonna be a big enough of a :devil: to light your girlfriend on fire you really shouldn't get sick yourself in jail and be brought to the same hospital she got treated at, and expect lots of pain meds and compassion:flamesonb:idntdt:, ain't gonna happen buddy

wow. he actually lit his girlfriend on fire?

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Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.
wow. he actually lit his girlfriend on fire?

I am unable to answer any more questions about my last post seeing as I have contracted a serious case of HIPAA-titis.

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.
I am unable to answer any more questions about my last post seeing as I have contracted a serious case of HIPAA-titis.

Good thing, too!! lol

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Specializes in LTC, Sub-Acute, Hopsice.
I could name so many 'urban healthcare legends' I have heard since becoming a nurse. Some I didn't even know existed before.

That would make an interesting thread.:devil:

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Specializes in med-surg.
Only worked in the ER a couple of years and have learned plenty:

Just sitting there minding your own business is one of the most dangerous activities you can do.

Kind of like my nephews when they were younger. Bleeding child "I was just sitting there minding my own business and (the dog/my brother/some evil phantom in the room) just (bit/punched/scratched) me for no reason". Such angels...

:lol2:

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