Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Never play with a rubber ball while naked. You might sit on it and have to go surgery to get it taken out.

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Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2: at the last post!:lol2::lol2:
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Don't drink six beers while cooking your meth.

You might end up burning your house down, and you might have to be shipped to the big hospital with a burn center.

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Specializes in ICU, telemetry, LTAC.

Don't, for any reason, EVER, drink rubbing alcohol.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Never drink turpentine. It will make you feel very hot all over, and you will do the dance of your life. When your mother gives you a tablespoon of sugar to dilute it, it will taste like turpentine too, and for the next 6 months, every time you burp, you will taste it. I know. It happened to me. The turpentine was in a small whiskey bottle laying on my mother's night stand. She said she used it on the horses.

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Well, obviously... I bet that'll burn your throat..

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

It did. It also burned other things going down. I was just a curious kid then, and thought I was going to take a taste of whiskey.

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Do not drink a whole bottle of cough syrup thinking that if a little is good then more will be better.

also do not leave a bottle of cough syrup you are using to treat your 5 year old in their reach.

(this one is from personal experience. I was 5, I had a cough decided to self medicate. :trout:)

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Taught me what not to say to them during an assessment. I was doing great, with my head to toe. Did lungs, BS, HR pain, then heading south said (tonight in fact) I am just going to check the pulses in your feet. "Really? I haven't had anyone do that in a long time." OMG he was a bilateral below knee amputee with bilateral prosthesis on AND I HAD KNOWN THAT> SO DONT-ever- set yourself on automatic pilot when assessing, and "do it just like I always do it." This was not funny and I had to sit down and say well that was probably the dumbest thing I will say today--sometimes it doesnt pay to think of yourself as thorough. I looked at the floor but there was (curiously) no hole to climb into. Poor pt!

I was at a post op appointment after I had my right eye removed january 2007. The tech who checks vision asked me did I have any light perception left in my right eye. I got a bit confused. :trout:

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If you go to a Super Bowl party where alcohol is flowing freely, do not be the first one to pass out.

If you go to a Super Bowl party where alcohol is flowing freely and your buddy is the first one to pass out, do not attempt to shave off his beard unless you are sober enough to hold the razor steady.

If you go to a Super Bowl party where the alcohol is flowing freely and your buddy is the first one to pass out and you do attempt to shave off his beard in spite of the fact that you are NOT sober enough to hold the razor steady, do not nick his jugular vein.

If you go to a Super Bowl party where the alcohol is flowing freely and your buddy is the first one to pass out and you do attempt to shave off his beard in spite of the fact that you are NOT sober enough to hold the razor steady AND you nick his jugular vein, please for the love of heaven make sure SOMEONE is sober enough to A) realize "that much blood can't be good" and B) call 911.

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Do not drink a whole bottle of cough syrup thinking that if a little is good then more will be better.

also do not leave a bottle of cough syrup you are using to treat your 5 year old in their reach.

(this one is from personal experience. I was 5, I had a cough decided to self medicate. :trout:)

wow. and what happened?

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I was at a post op appointment after I had my right eye removed january 2007. The tech who checks vision asked me did I have any light perception left in my right eye. I got a bit confused. :trout:

wow. I guses he got so into his routine that he didn't even notice that you had an eye missing.:uhoh21::rolleyes::confused: What happened to your eye if u don't mind me asking?

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