Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

Don't get drunk and ride your motor scooter around the neighborhood. That open leg fracture you got won't be operated on until your alcohol level drops, even if it takes 24 hours.

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Don't get drunk and ride your motor scooter around the neighborhood. That open leg fracture you got won't be operated on until your alcohol level drops, even if it takes 24 hours.

that is soo true. And a little sad.

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Oh, the follies that alcohol brings!

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all of these were very funny....really wish I had something to add!!

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Specializes in IMCU/Telemetry.

Don't OD on tylenol because you are 1. Drunk, 2. Mad at him, and 3. He won't fight with you. You will have liver damage, have kidney failure and be put on dylasis. She also WAS pregnant.

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Don't ever think you can drink an entire half gallon of whiskey and get away with it. (college roomate a few years ago).

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Don't wait two weeks without having a BM and then go to hospital to get disimpacted.

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Never fight for your husband to get pain meds. He just may be a former drug addict.

Never drink a bottle of wine, and then take a lot of sleeping pills you just found so you could feel higher. We have to work very hard to get you back, and you just might have to have your stomach pumped.

Never knock yourself out on drugs when you're so ill. It just might do you in.

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Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care Transport.

Make up sponges are not "the sponge." Anything made by maybelline is probably NOT a contraceptive.

(Shakes head in dismay).

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Specializes in ICU, MS, BHU, Flight RN, Admin.
And I thought I was the only one who heard of the potato trick. I stil haven't figured out why a potato. Why not a turnip?

Because this was actually a prescribed treatment in the dark ages, I suppose a turnip might burn..they're kind of spicy raw when you eat them..same concept I guess.

I have learned to be nice to your nurse if you want more positive attitudes and concern expressed over your condition. Be patient. Be nice to your co-workers, and go to the hospital you work at when you need care.

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

Don't ride on the metal fender of your BF's motorcycle. Not even if you're sitting on a leather jacket. Especially not if your BF wants to go really fast and isn't willing to stop when you're telling him it's getting awfully warm down there.

A 3rd degree burn on your butt just is not any fun at all.

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"The more fundamental the religion of the parents the more foul words their head injured offspring know and can yell."

As an offspring of said fundamentally religious parents, I can say....How true!

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