Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

Nurses Humor

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You are reading page 131 of Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

rn1965, ADN

514 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

Never think, that because you were a gymnast in HS, you can jump off the headboard and into a split, on your husbands erect penis.

Fun fact- it was their honeymoon!

They both ended up in the hospital ?


625 Posts

Don't put a piping hot Styrofoam cup of coffee between your legs at the drive-thru.

Specializes in L&D, Cardiac/Renal, Palliative Care.

If you are going to procure someone else's urine for a UDS

1.) Ensure it is not so cold it will not register on the themometer

2.) Ensure it is not positive for meth

3.) If you fail to do both of the above, do not stand and stare dumbfounded and say, "but I don't do meth!"

Also, if you tell your nurse you can't breathe, do not yell at her when she comes to put your bipap on, it does NOT make her feel helpful, at all.

Orca, ADN, ASN, RN

2,066 Posts

Specializes in Hospice, corrections, psychiatry, rehab, LTC.

Antifreeze does not contain the right type of alcohol to get intoxicated on.

Keeping a baby sidewinder in a box as a pet doesn't end well.

Hand rolled toilet paper is not a good substitute for tampons.


25 Posts

Specializes in Critical Care.

they taught me never to underestimate the power of an elderly person. man when they are mad, they can get crazy strong

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