Things Patients Have Taught Me NOT To Do

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Never....NEVER...cut a potato in half and use it as a pessary! :eek:

Anybody got anything to add?

Specializes in CHPN Hospice & Palliative Nurse.

Not to be a party pooper :( but could we please keep this thread on topic

Specializes in midwifery, NICU.
Not to be a party pooper :( but could we please keep this thread on topic

:Santa1: Sure, this is a great thread, but when Gompers posts that she's being induced on Wed., so many people have followed her progress, that it's hard not to get sidetracked! back to the story....

Not to be a party pooper :( but could we please keep this thread on topic

Sorry. This started in the "elective C-section" discussion; not sure how it ended up over here

Specializes in 6 years of ER fun, med/surg, blah, blah.
If you are a 400-lb. diabetic, it is inadvisable to fall asleep with your dentures in the bed, lest they be found two days later buried deep in your left buttcheek.

Puts a whole new twist on that ole saying "Bite my arce!!" doesn't it? :roll :roll

Bite me?! Ooo, I bit myself....:rotfl:

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Not to be a party pooper :( but could we please keep this thread on topic

Let's blame Brian. HE put the countdown function on there!

No - seriously - it's my fault and I'm sorry ;) -- carry on...

Specializes in ortho/neuro/general surgery.

My doc would have scheduled a c-section had the baby been in the 9 pound range, but it's not so she's going to let me "try" to do it the regular way. No one seems to think I'll be able to do it, for some reason.

Hey, Gompers, it's 11 am EST right now and I'm thinking and prayin' for you and the baby!

Oops, sorry, psoted this after I saw the psot about keeping the thread on topic.

Specializes in ER/ ICU.

Don't drink rubbing alcohol- it's really not the same alcohol. Never leave the same tampon in for over a week. Never allow your little one to go pet the " Nice raccoon" without considering rabies potential. Do not use a fry daddy as an attempt for suicide. Only your face will burn and you will be bald there for the rest of your life. Do not scratch your head at work w/ a nail gun. Never trust any meds from Mexico- hello- no FDA. God only knows what you are gettin'

Specializes in ER, ICU, Nursing Education, LTC, and HHC.
WHOA!! You've learned more than me!!

Never...NEVER..get off the top bunk with an erection, and slip, hitting your manhood on the bed post! :imbar

Now that is funny

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Don't drink rubbing alcohol- it's really not the same alcohol. Never leave the same tampon in for over a week. Never allow your little one to go pet the " Nice raccoon" without considering rabies potential. Do not use a fry daddy as an attempt for suicide. Only your face will burn and you will be bald there for the rest of your life. Do not scratch your head at work w/ a nail gun. Never trust any meds from Mexico- hello- no FDA. God only knows what you are gettin'

WOW.

I am curious about the fry daddy, did they think if they stuck their head in there they'd be gassed to death?

Specializes in IMCU/Telemetry.

Don't rip your new pacemaker out, and cut the wires, then go to the Dr's office and say "I found this." You might end up with MRSA in the wound, and be stuck in hospital for 3 weeks waiting for the infection to clear up to get a new one.

Don't rip your new pacemaker out, and cut the wires, then go to the Dr's office and say "I found this." You might end up with MRSA in the wound, and be stuck in hospital for 3 weeks waiting for the infection to clear up to get a new one.

Oh, now theres GOT to be a story behind this one!!:uhoh3:

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Don't rip your new pacemaker out, and cut the wires, then go to the Dr's office and say "I found this." You might end up with MRSA in the wound, and be stuck in hospital for 3 weeks waiting for the infection to clear up to get a new one.

NO KIDDING!

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