The Wisdom of Lurking

Published

We've all seen the new poster whose very first post is one lambasting the more established members of the forum for lack of compassion to patients, students or new nurses, for eating our young” or for bullying. One recent memorable thread included the header I Have A Bone To Pick With You”, and unfortunately was closed before I had the chance to respond to it. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I've wondered what happened to the original poster. Perhaps the only way to recover from a fiasco like that is to close down the profile and start again with a new user name.

While it is your absolute right to post in whatever (however stupid) manner you choose, certain topics, buzzwords and titles are likely to earn you a good deal LESS respect that you think you deserve. Perhaps less than you might actually deserve. If your inaugural post (or any one of your first 10) is entitled Why do Nurses Eat Their Young?”, I'm Surrounded By Mean Old Biter Nurses” or Nurses Are Mean And Nasty,” I can almost guarantee that you're going to be lambasted by more established members of the AN community — unless you're lucky enough that your thread gets shut down immediately. Apologizing for the post and declaring that you now see the error of your ways isn't going to get you much slack, either as new members log on, read that first post and immediately respond. Most of us don't read the entire thread before responding. I think it's more fun to type out my first reaction, then read what everyone else has to say.

Lurking for a week or more will give you an opportunity to observe the hot button” issues and determine that perhaps starting your membership with a thread inquiring why nurses aren't delighted to have students helping them” or doing all of their work” isn't going to win you fans outside of the nursing student forums. It will give you some insight on which forum to use when asking someone to do your homework for you. (You HAVE caught on, haven't you, that we won't do your homework for you? That doesn't make us mean haters. That makes us professionals who want to have other professionals working with us in the future.) If you're new to the internet, perhaps lurking will give you some insight on using all caps or underlining, italicizing AND bolding those comments about how everyone is MEAN to you isn't going to endear you to other posters.

If you lurk for awhile, you may begin to understand thread drift” and know that once you put something out there, it's out there. People will comment on it, both positively and negatively, and you as a commenter on the thread (or even an original poster) will have no control over the direction of the thread once it's posted. That's how we get threads about red jello and white chocolate.

Lurking may make clear the inadvisability of writing a post stating that the only reason you don't get along with your coworkers is that they're all so jealous of your extreme youth and extraordinary beauty, and besides they're all a bunch of ugly old hags.

On second thought, what am I saying! If everyone were to lurk for awhile before their first post, it would cut down immeasurably on those entertaining, gotta have popcorn” threads!

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I don't understand why anyone takes these forums so seriously... I mean it's the Internet for pete's sake. People who get butt-hurt over anonymous comments.

I see your point, but I would also say it's more complicated than that. Saying it's just the internet to me is like saying it's just a telephone line or it's just writing on a piece of paper. This little corner of the internet is a community and not the equivalent of the other 10,000 people at a baseball game or similar random grouping of strangers. So I might say someone who gets their feelings hurt here is oversensitive, but not ever malign someone for feeling hurt because it's "just the internet".

Specializes in Med Tele, Gen Surgical.

So, yes, this is the internet. AND as stated by a PP, a specific corner of the web....we care deeply about the veracity of our practice, the beneficience to our patients, and the promotion of our patients' well being. Its a big job, and so yes, it is complicated. Props to nursel56....and others who espouse the same.

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing.

This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.

Specializes in Med-Surg.

I kinda disagree that it's just an anonymous blog. It's a place full of professionals with a variety of experience, who give pretty spot on advice. I have found this site very helpful during my career. It's a place where you can pick the brains of people who are doing what you want to do. Where else would you be able to find that?

Specializes in 15 years in ICU, 22 years in PACU.

Lurking for a week or more will give you an opportunity to observe the hot button” issues and determine that perhaps starting your membership with a thread inquiring why nurses aren't delighted to have students helping them” or doing all of their work” isn't going to win you fans outside of the nursing student forums. It will give you some insight on which forum to use when asking someone to do your homework for you. (You HAVE caught on, haven't you, that we won't do your homework for you? That doesn't make us mean haters. That makes us professionals who want to have other professionals working with us in the future.) If you're new to the internet, perhaps lurking will give you some insight on using all caps or underlining, italicizing AND bolding those comments about how everyone is MEAN to you isn't going to endear you to other posters.

If you lurk for awhile, you may begin to understand thread drift” and know that once you put something out there, it's out there. People will comment on it, both positively and negatively, and you as a commenter on the thread (or even an original poster) will have no control over the direction of the thread once it's posted. That's how we get threads about red jello and white chocolate.

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/apologies-995240-page2.html

Jun 21 by Mavrick, BSN, RN

Anytime you walk into a room full of strangers it is wise to keep your mouth shut and ears open until you get the lay of the land.

In a word, lurk.

If that is a new word, it means to hang out, read some threads, learn the language, get a sense of what is offensive, hot buttons, respectful disagreement etc., before starting topics of a questionable nature.

Great minds think alike, but you always say it so much better Ruby Vee.

I'm not qualified to make a "diagnosis" but are these first posters just too narcissistic to believe anyone else has posted their exact same question/topic?

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I won't lie, I've done that. Not realizing how old the thread was, of course. Or if it's something I really like.

It's easy to jump to old threads when you're browsing topics....some of those topics the third listed thread is olllllll

Haha but I pay more attention now. ������

Me, too. I've been roped in by old threads and missed the date until after I've posted. I guess it's like checking for med expiry dates; something you have to remember to do.

I don't think I've ressurected an old thread but I'm sure I have commented on a thread already ressurected.

And I am curious to the outcomes of some dilemmas, apparently some still get notifications when a new comment is posted and I've seen them come back with an update.

This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.

You sound pretty bitter. Did you say something and get attacked? If so, I am sorry. The site is going through one of its edgier phases, granted, but it is still way more professional than most others.

Do you have any examples of clique-ish behavior? Most of the posters here squabble and make up. There aren't many groups of more than two or three who agree on much. If you can show us what we're doing wrong, we're more likely to recognize the problem and fix it.

There's nothing wrong with taking yourself seriously, although there aren't a whole lot of long-time posters here who do. You should browse some of the silly posts and see the shenanigans that go on.

I personally think becoming a nurse, whether RN or LPN/LVN, is a pretty awesome thing. If you want to be important, though, contributing instead of kvetching would be a good start.

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing.

No, Cani, I don't want to be "important" on an anonymous site. I am a professional registered nurse with 13 years of experience under my belt. I am not new to the nursing profession. Personally, I have not been attacked, but I watch the berating of newcomers every day by the established members. And why are we not allowed to discuss some touchy topics without being lambasted?

Specializes in ED; Med Surg.

I am devastated I can't read the "bone picker's" thread. Devastated.

No, Cani, I don't want to be "important" on an anonymous site. I am a professional registered nurse with 13 years of experience under my belt. I am not new to the nursing profession. Personally, I have not been attacked, but I watch the berating of newcomers every day by the established members. And why are we not allowed to discuss some touchy topics without being lambasted?

You focused on ONE WORD. Why do I even... You have more nursing experience than I do, by a decade. Yay. I have no idea why that matters in this discussion, but it's impressive.

You can talk about whatever you want to, but as long as TOS are observed, so can everyone else. There are a lot of acknowledged controversial topics, like the PVT and vaccines and NETY. If it is too uncomfortable for you to see, then it may be a good idea to avoid those.

There is a logic disconnect here. Some posters are newcomers and some posters are lambasted, therefore all newcomers are lambasted? I think you have a skewed perception. Not all of the newcomers get attacked. BTW, have you noticed what the newcomers are posting that's getting lambasted? If a child runs at you screaming that you are stupid and nasty and tries to kick you in the shins, do you cosset the child or correct it?

There are quite a few lovely new posters who have been welcomed. These are the ones who don't jump in with guns blazing. The ones who look to see if their questions have been answered before posting. The ones who don't present with "shame on you, heartless nurses" or "NETY" or "I can't be bothered to research the NCLEX, so tell me over and over again if I passed with 75 questions."

There are quite a few lovely new posters who have been welcomed. These are the ones who don't jump in with guns blazing. The ones who look to see if their questions have been answered before posting. The ones who don't present with "shame on you, heartless nurses" or "NETY" or "I can't be bothered to research the NCLEX, so tell me over and over again if I passed with 75 questions."

I will even admit, before I even made a user name on this site, I would research my question on Google. And what popped up? A butt load of Allnurses thread, all asking and answering my very question. Like literally hundreds of threads with my exact question. Unfortunately, I have taken advantage of having my own user name that now sometimes I've been forgetting to search first, so that's something I need to get back to doing.

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