We've all seen the new poster whose very first post is one lambasting the more established members of the forum for lack of compassion to patients, students or new nurses, for eating our young†or for bullying. One recent memorable thread included the header I Have A Bone To Pick With Youâ€, and unfortunately was closed before I had the chance to respond to it. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I've wondered what happened to the original poster. Perhaps the only way to recover from a fiasco like that is to close down the profile and start again with a new user name.
While it is your absolute right to post in whatever (however stupid) manner you choose, certain topics, buzzwords and titles are likely to earn you a good deal LESS respect that you think you deserve. Perhaps less than you might actually deserve. If your inaugural post (or any one of your first 10) is entitled Why do Nurses Eat Their Young?â€, I'm Surrounded By Mean Old Biter Nurses†or Nurses Are Mean And Nasty,†I can almost guarantee that you're going to be lambasted by more established members of the AN community — unless you're lucky enough that your thread gets shut down immediately. Apologizing for the post and declaring that you now see the error of your ways isn't going to get you much slack, either as new members log on, read that first post and immediately respond. Most of us don't read the entire thread before responding. I think it's more fun to type out my first reaction, then read what everyone else has to say.
Lurking for a week or more will give you an opportunity to observe the hot button†issues and determine that perhaps starting your membership with a thread inquiring why nurses aren't delighted to have students helping them†or doing all of their work†isn't going to win you fans outside of the nursing student forums. It will give you some insight on which forum to use when asking someone to do your homework for you. (You HAVE caught on, haven't you, that we won't do your homework for you? That doesn't make us mean haters. That makes us professionals who want to have other professionals working with us in the future.) If you're new to the internet, perhaps lurking will give you some insight on using all caps or underlining, italicizing AND bolding those comments about how everyone is MEAN to you isn't going to endear you to other posters.
If you lurk for awhile, you may begin to understand thread drift†and know that once you put something out there, it's out there. People will comment on it, both positively and negatively, and you as a commenter on the thread (or even an original poster) will have no control over the direction of the thread once it's posted. That's how we get threads about red jello and white chocolate.
Lurking may make clear the inadvisability of writing a post stating that the only reason you don't get along with your coworkers is that they're all so jealous of your extreme youth and extraordinary beauty, and besides they're all a bunch of ugly old hags.
On second thought, what am I saying! If everyone were to lurk for awhile before their first post, it would cut down immeasurably on those entertaining, gotta have popcorn†threads!
No, Cani, I don't want to be "important" on an anonymous site. I am a professional registered nurse with 13 years of experience under my belt. I am not new to the nursing profession. Personally, I have not been attacked, but I watch the berating of newcomers every day by the established members. And why are we not allowed to discuss some touchy topics without being lambasted?
THIS ^^^^^
-A new member can't post about NETY because the second they do a familiar crew of posters shows up and starts to make excuses for the nursing profession because bullying happens everywhere. Despite the fact that the research is clear that bullying happens at a greater rate in nursing than other professions and it has an impact on patient care. So much for evidence based practice.
-A student post that they need to interview a nurse or a nurse practitioner. A familiar refrain goes up that the professor wants them to go out and network and interview a real nurse in person. They are told that you can't be sure that it is even a real nurse that answers their questions. In reality the newer generation often networks online. I have helped out nurse practitioner students that have posted that they do not have nurse practitioners in their community. How do they know I am a real nurse practitioner? I give them my name and have them call me at the office. My license can be verified online by anyone. I have, in turn helped those students meet people to help them with clinical placement etc.
My friends who are professors don't care if the student networks online. But if they were to post on allnurses the posters would show up to define what a professor they have never met wants, even though they have never met the professor. Your anecdotal experience does not govern what every professor wants.
Nursing cliques exist on this site just like every gathering of nurses on earth. If a newcomer were to ask me if they should post a question on allnurses I would tell them not to waste their time. I can give them the first 2 pages of response from memory.
Instead of lambasting new nurses for asking a question that has already been asked here is a concept. If you don't have anything new to say about the situation then your previous post and are going to "sign" or "roll your eyes" or tell them to "search the forums" skip the thread and let new opinions be expressed before you shut down the thread with your same old answer.
This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.
This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.
Apparently only certain views are considered acceptable to post on AN, and one must study the views of the OP and those similarly minded before one makes a post or starts a thread. How presumptuous. When I post I am true to myself, am mindful of the terms of service, and post according to my experience and beliefs. I certainly don't agonize over whether my post may be received favorably by certain posters.
This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.
I have seen the "valued member" defense be trotted out in hot-button topics. That's all I'm gonna say about that...
I have a different perspective that is closer to nurse56's. We get to "know" each other here. Once I get to know a poster's style that I like or at least appreciate, I find myself always stopping at their posts to read carefully.
There are certain posters who, without exception, provide very, very helpful information. Although lately I haven't agreed with Muno's viewpoint on all things, I feel he/she is a wealth of knowledge, and I *always* read those posts. Learn something every time.
klone always has an interesting take on things. A woman of few words, but when she talks, I listen.
Susie2310 brings her real nursing perspective into this forum, and I get where she's coming from, but I feel that this site should be a safe place to vent...something I cannot do in real life. She and I don't agree on how to use this forum, but I understand her viewpoint. I always read her posts, too.
Those are the three that come to mind immediately. Next week, I could name a few others whose posts I always read. :)
Allnurses is a community, just as real as offline ones. It is important to hang back and observe a social group that one might want to participate in. Just like in real life, there are cliques and alliances. There are taboo subjects. And if you are in a tiny minority opinion about something, you will be mobbed, especially if it's a hot button issue.
In other words, use common sense. Would you go to a gay alliance meeting and say homosexuality is a sin? If you are at a Catholic funeral, is that the place to talk about pedophile priests and how the Pope is the Antichrist? Nope, not a good idea.
Meanwhile, some people just like to be disruptive mischief makers and just get a rise out of folks.
This thread, and many of the comments, are puzzling to me. I have always felt that this forum is clique-ish and there are certain posters that always rally around each other. So what if someone is not a "seasoned poster," or "valued member?" You guys certainly do take yourselves very seriously, don't you? I thought becoming an RN was a noteworthy accomplishment, but I guess one needs to be a "valued member" of AN to be really important.
I don't know. I don't really think so. Take me for example. I am new to AN, however, I have felt very welcomed here. No one has bashed me or treated me ill here at all. I'm not a "seasoned poster", nor do I consider myself a "valued member" at all. But still, I have been treated very kindly. And I think that has a lot to do with me "lurking" before I even created a username and still continue to lurk. I have started to feel a little more comfortable posting though because I have learned the AN etiquette. Just because we are on a online site doesn't mean that etiquette completely goes out the window. Because behind every screen name on here is an actual human being.
In terms of community, i.e. common ground, what most of us have in common is that we are nurses, students, pre-nursing students, work in health care in another field, or are interested in nursing. That means there is lot of diversity within the group, and that within the group there will naturally be many, many, points of view. As long as one posts within the terms of service, which is a very good guide to good behavior on the internet, it seems to me that one has fulfilled one's social obligations to the group.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Allnurses is a community, just as real as offline ones. It is important to hang back and observe a social group that one might want to participate in. Just like in real life, there are cliques and alliances. There are taboo subjects. And if you are in a tiny minority opinion about something, you will be mobbed, especially if it's a hot button issue.
I think this is a good paragraph and I wholeheartedly agree.
I wonder if, for many, it's the generational difference. I have been a member of various message board communities (yes, communities) for over 18 years. Longer than a few posters here have been alive. And for me, they've always been fairly close-knit, and have really become a community.
I think that the "younger generation" feels much more anonymous on message boards - with Facebook and Snapchat and whatever, maybe they're more used to interacting online with strangers, where there is less of an "accepted group behavior" and fewer cliques.
I liken what this thread is about to the idea of a stranger coming into a large party of people who all know each other well, and the stranger walks up to the group and starts scolding them about their behavior, or loudly bringing up a topic that the group of people all know is something that makes people uncomfortable or upset.
I do think of AN as a community, and I agree that when you join a new community, it is kind of rude to just walk in loudly, start scolding people and loudly discussing topics that, if you were more familiar with the community, you would know were taboo subjects.
For some, this is an anonymous message board. But for many of us, especially those of us who have been here for years and years, this is like a friend's living room.
BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN
3,520 Posts
Awww, it's been deleted? It was classic!