The Wisdom of Lurking

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

We've all seen the new poster whose very first post is one lambasting the more established members of the forum for lack of compassion to patients, students or new nurses, for eating our young” or for bullying. One recent memorable thread included the header I Have A Bone To Pick With You”, and unfortunately was closed before I had the chance to respond to it. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I've wondered what happened to the original poster. Perhaps the only way to recover from a fiasco like that is to close down the profile and start again with a new user name.

While it is your absolute right to post in whatever (however stupid) manner you choose, certain topics, buzzwords and titles are likely to earn you a good deal LESS respect that you think you deserve. Perhaps less than you might actually deserve. If your inaugural post (or any one of your first 10) is entitled Why do Nurses Eat Their Young?”, I'm Surrounded By Mean Old Biter Nurses” or Nurses Are Mean And Nasty,” I can almost guarantee that you're going to be lambasted by more established members of the AN community — unless you're lucky enough that your thread gets shut down immediately. Apologizing for the post and declaring that you now see the error of your ways isn't going to get you much slack, either as new members log on, read that first post and immediately respond. Most of us don't read the entire thread before responding. I think it's more fun to type out my first reaction, then read what everyone else has to say.

Lurking for a week or more will give you an opportunity to observe the hot button” issues and determine that perhaps starting your membership with a thread inquiring why nurses aren't delighted to have students helping them” or doing all of their work” isn't going to win you fans outside of the nursing student forums. It will give you some insight on which forum to use when asking someone to do your homework for you. (You HAVE caught on, haven't you, that we won't do your homework for you? That doesn't make us mean haters. That makes us professionals who want to have other professionals working with us in the future.) If you're new to the internet, perhaps lurking will give you some insight on using all caps or underlining, italicizing AND bolding those comments about how everyone is MEAN to you isn't going to endear you to other posters.

If you lurk for awhile, you may begin to understand thread drift” and know that once you put something out there, it's out there. People will comment on it, both positively and negatively, and you as a commenter on the thread (or even an original poster) will have no control over the direction of the thread once it's posted. That's how we get threads about red jello and white chocolate.

Lurking may make clear the inadvisability of writing a post stating that the only reason you don't get along with your coworkers is that they're all so jealous of your extreme youth and extraordinary beauty, and besides they're all a bunch of ugly old hags.

On second thought, what am I saying! If everyone were to lurk for awhile before their first post, it would cut down immeasurably on those entertaining, gotta have popcorn” threads!

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Specializes in L&D.

I don't understand why anyone takes these forums so seriously... I mean it's the Internet for pete's sake. People who get butt-hurt over anonymous comments.

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Specializes in L&D.

"Lurking" for a week or so before a person decides to post a topic is unnecessary BECAUSE IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS.

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"Lurking" for a week or so before a person decides to post a topic is unnecessary BECAUSE IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS.

I agree that it's not that serious, after all, it's an anonymous website.

At the same time, though, I came on here hoping to be able to attribute to discussions and maybe even find someone in the field that I could go to as I joined as a newer nurse. I read posts on here before becoming a member. When I was new, I lurked (and still do) quite a bit. I learned the AN etiquette and what would get you in trouble.

I love being able to come here for advice and I'm glad that my first post wasn't something horrible that I got verbal lashings for and ignored thereafter.

It's a lot of fun on here and I get quite a few laughs and still can learn from others as well, even if I'm just lurking.

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It doesn't matter either way to me. I'm ready to encourage the ones that aren't stupid, and ready to slap down the ridiculous ones. Or at least address them bluntly and remind them there is a real world. Especially the sanctimonious thread hijackers. I watched one of them jump threads to bash posters earlier today. Ridiculous.

Although I have been enjoying some of the nuttier ones lately. I'm with you, Ruby, about the bone picker. I'm still torqued that I missed out on that one!!

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Fear not, canigraduate. Another thread like that is just waiting in the wings.

And I agree with what Ruby has said. If you take a couple days to get the feel of a site like AN, it makes being a valued member that much easier.

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I actually agree. I am pretty new and I've been either hanging out in the wings and reading everything, keeping my replies short and sweet, or re reading my post three times to make sure I didn't sound as if I "picked sides" if that makes sense. Also, I found that just reading the thread and waiting to post something, most of the time someone will say what is already on my mind. I'd rather earn respect before I'm seen as a loose cannon.

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For every stupid first time poster who post something inflammatory there is a stupid long term member to hop on their past and be just as inflammatory. This is the way of the internet.

If you are on any internet site looking to earn "respect" or tell someone else how to earn "respect" you need to reevaluate your life.

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I love this. But....I think the new ones who are likely to post those annoying first threads probably aren't taking the time to read this particular thread. *sigh*

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If you are on any internet site looking to earn "respect" or tell someone else how to earn "respect" you need to reevaluate your life.

I wasn't telling anyone else how to earn respect. But when you join a large community of tight knit nurses, I do feel it's important to refrain from jumping on it and blowing things up. Yeah, its an internet site, but a lot of long time members know one another up here, I feel, and I'm no one to come on here and act like I know everything and everyone and I have no room to act superior. I feel that even though this is an internet site, there are some unspoken rules that the long time members do follow and the only way I can learn them is to watch and observe.

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I love this. But....I think the new ones who are likely to post those annoying first threads probably aren't taking the time to read this particular thread. *sigh*

Oh trust me, I definitely took the time to read it. I've been taking time out every night and morning to "learn the ways" I guess you could say. Unfortunately though, I believe you are right. Not everyone takes the time to read through things before they explode out of no where. Thank you for the advice, OP

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Oh trust me, I definitely took the time to read it. I've been taking time out every night and morning to "learn the ways" I guess you could say. Unfortunately though, I believe you are right. Not everyone takes the time to read through things before they explode out of no where. Thank you for the advice, OP

I didn't mean that all new posters are like that. You seem to be very polite :)

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