We've all seen the new poster whose very first post is one lambasting the more established members of the forum for lack of compassion to patients, students or new nurses, for eating our young†or for bullying. One recent memorable thread included the header I Have A Bone To Pick With Youâ€, and unfortunately was closed before I had the chance to respond to it. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I've wondered what happened to the original poster. Perhaps the only way to recover from a fiasco like that is to close down the profile and start again with a new user name.
While it is your absolute right to post in whatever (however stupid) manner you choose, certain topics, buzzwords and titles are likely to earn you a good deal LESS respect that you think you deserve. Perhaps less than you might actually deserve. If your inaugural post (or any one of your first 10) is entitled Why do Nurses Eat Their Young?â€, I'm Surrounded By Mean Old Biter Nurses†or Nurses Are Mean And Nasty,†I can almost guarantee that you're going to be lambasted by more established members of the AN community — unless you're lucky enough that your thread gets shut down immediately. Apologizing for the post and declaring that you now see the error of your ways isn't going to get you much slack, either as new members log on, read that first post and immediately respond. Most of us don't read the entire thread before responding. I think it's more fun to type out my first reaction, then read what everyone else has to say.
Lurking for a week or more will give you an opportunity to observe the hot button†issues and determine that perhaps starting your membership with a thread inquiring why nurses aren't delighted to have students helping them†or doing all of their work†isn't going to win you fans outside of the nursing student forums. It will give you some insight on which forum to use when asking someone to do your homework for you. (You HAVE caught on, haven't you, that we won't do your homework for you? That doesn't make us mean haters. That makes us professionals who want to have other professionals working with us in the future.) If you're new to the internet, perhaps lurking will give you some insight on using all caps or underlining, italicizing AND bolding those comments about how everyone is MEAN to you isn't going to endear you to other posters.
If you lurk for awhile, you may begin to understand thread drift†and know that once you put something out there, it's out there. People will comment on it, both positively and negatively, and you as a commenter on the thread (or even an original poster) will have no control over the direction of the thread once it's posted. That's how we get threads about red jello and white chocolate.
Lurking may make clear the inadvisability of writing a post stating that the only reason you don't get along with your coworkers is that they're all so jealous of your extreme youth and extraordinary beauty, and besides they're all a bunch of ugly old hags.
On second thought, what am I saying! If everyone were to lurk for awhile before their first post, it would cut down immeasurably on those entertaining, gotta have popcorn†threads!
Any time you want to see true incivility or bashing, go on a site like Yahoo!, MSN.com, or any news outlet or social media site and look in the comments. Now THOSE people are downright rude and flagrantly malicious. That kind of malarkey doesn't exist here.
Agree.
I cannot stomach the media sites...it's completely outrageous and people run amok with NO sense of etiquette; my aura can not handle it.
I find this place as a safe space to express my viewpoint or at least attempt to help; when I first started in 2004 and even through my hiatuses, I lurked before posting and dipped my toe in posts before responding to such hot button topics.
Maybe because I posted and remember being taught the rules of "netiquette" back in the day that I actually keep those standards, and expect others to do so as well; it doesn't hurt to post logically and honestly and attempt to do so each time; I also expect the unexpected and understand how written word can be misconstrued and how people "read" into tone, especially if there is a level of sensitivity related to the poster-I also think that one should be clear that everyone is not going to agree with everyone all the time, and that's OK...and should at least be expected.
I don't feel like part of the "in group" but neither do I feel like part of the "out group." It's hard to see your own status, I guess.
Broadly speaking, out-group members are more keenly aware of their status than in-group members (unless you're in a really fancy group, like Beyonce's entourage or something).
One thing that I have noticed is that some of the "new" posters have no problem "standing on top of the table" and screaming, but they get all upset when a) they are ignored, or b) they are told to shut up.
Is this a commentary on the current generation's social mindset?
I'm generally slow to assume that broad social behaviors will change over the course of a generation or two. It's not impossible, but it's unlikely. In the same way that people tend to feel the world is more dangerous now than when they were a kid, even if it's demonstrably less dangerous (like the last 30 years), I think we judge the quality of young people too harshly because we have a distorted view of our own earlier lives. When you were the young person you probably did things that made older people fear for the survival of the species, but because you had a different perspective (borne of inexperience, a frontal lobe that wasn't fully mature, etc) you likely remember it differently.
Broadly speaking, out-group members are more keenly aware of their status than in-group members (unless you're in a really fancy group, like Beyonce's entourage or something).
I'm generally slow to assume that broad social behaviors will change over the course of a generation or two. It's not impossible, but it's unlikely. In the same way that people tend to feel the world is more dangerous now than when they were a kid, even if it's demonstrably less dangerous (like the last 30 years), I think we judge the quality of young people too harshly because we have a distorted view of our own earlier lives. When you were the young person you probably did things that made older people fear for the survival of the species, but because you had a different perspective (borne of inexperience, a frontal lobe that wasn't fully mature, etc) you likely remember it differently.
That's my theory, anyway.
That's a very clever way of saying, "No, stupid. Gah!!" LOL! (Literally, I woke the dog up.)
I went back to my old posts to see if I was stupid as a newbie, and I was. I may try to cut some more slack. Unless, of course, the newbies are really offensive. Then, I'll PM RubyVee and let her deal with them!
There's a new thread brewing now that says we over-exaggerate the lack of jobs for new grads. I can't wait to see how that one goes.
That's a very clever way of saying, "No, stupid. Gah!!" LOL! (Literally, I woke the dog up.)
I never say in three words what I could say in 300.
I went back to my old posts to see if I was stupid as a newbie, and I was. I may try to cut some more slack. Unless, of course, the newbies are really offensive. Then, I'll PM RubyVee and let her deal with them!
That's pretty awesome. I'm impressed you were willing to go back and look.
There's a new thread brewing now that says we over-exaggerate the lack of jobs for new grads. I can't wait to see how that one goes.
Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
I tried searching and got "Oops! You don't have permission to access this page."
I got that notice when I clicked on a recent "can I still be a nurse if I don't like poop?" article. Due to the subject matter I assumed it had gone horribly wrong much faster than usual -- I discovered I could see the thread if I logged out --turns out to be a glitch that a few of us have encountered and let the admins know about.
It's interesting how, on a previous popular thread, it was repeatedly mentioned that new people "don't use the search feature when posting new topics" and here we're mentioning that a poster can be frowned upon by attempting to resurrect an old thread. (can be...not that they always are...)
I'm not saying right or wrong, just an observation.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Suggesting one uses the search feature is not meant to resurrect new threads, but to find threads where the question has already been asked and answered ad nauseum.
I personally don't mind if someone posts on a thread that's a few months old, to add more information, a different angle, or to ask a question.
But really, what's the point of bumping up a 5-year-old thread?
LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN
8,429 Posts
Agree.
I cannot stomach the media sites...it's completely outrageous and people run amok with NO sense of etiquette; my aura can not handle it.
I find this place as a safe space to express my viewpoint or at least attempt to help; when I first started in 2004 and even through my hiatuses, I lurked before posting and dipped my toe in posts before responding to such hot button topics.
Maybe because I posted and remember being taught the rules of "netiquette" back in the day
that I actually keep those standards, and expect others to do so as well; it doesn't hurt to post logically and honestly and attempt to do so each time; I also expect the unexpected and understand how written word can be misconstrued and how people "read" into tone, especially if there is a level of sensitivity related to the poster-I also think that one should be clear that everyone is not going to agree with everyone all the time, and that's OK...and should at least be expected.